Fox Morgan
Member
It has come to my attention that I appear to be lacking in the sailing companion department.
I'm told I should probably have one of these.
This isn't in the racing regs as such, but I guess it must be part of the wider inventory every yachtsperson is expected to have.
So here I am, shopping.
What I'm looking for:
Athletic,
I'm not looking for Kelly Holmes/Daniel Craig levels of buff or athletic (though it is desirable) but someone who can fit through the door both forwards or backwards and doesn't break the step. Someone who can move from chart table to helm in less than 5 seconds is a must.
I WILL be timing you.
Robust,
I swear a lot. the stench from my guts could gag a maggot if fed the wrong food and after a few days unwashed at sea you might wonder if the smell is that of a rotting fish. I'm not a delicate flower. Thusly, the sailing companion needs a fairly sturdy set of nostrils and capacity to resist punching me every morning when I instinctively and automatically tell anyone near me to "f*&k off" before opening both eyes.
wet wipes will be provided. you may wish to bring your own febreeze.
Must like dogs,
The ships dog will be the judge of that
You will be tested
Good sense of humour,
I will be the judge of that.
You will be tested
Semi decent cook
I'm good at cakes but someone who can make savoury dishes taste greater than the sum of their sausage beans and mash components is highly desirable. When I make sausage beans and mash, it tastes like sausage beans and mash. I want someone who can make that taste like a sumptious sechuan or kung po, or massalla, or rendang, or yeah please, someone cook me something orgasmic
Physical attributes,
any hair colour, any height, any gender considered.
Whilst I dream of being a Cougar, I realise this may be limiting myself somewhat. So I'll consider anyone who's currently got a pulse.
you can read a little of what happened to the last sailing companion here
http://www.boogie-nights.org/2015/10/dont-stop-me-now.html
I'm told I should probably have one of these.
This isn't in the racing regs as such, but I guess it must be part of the wider inventory every yachtsperson is expected to have.
So here I am, shopping.
What I'm looking for:
Athletic,
I'm not looking for Kelly Holmes/Daniel Craig levels of buff or athletic (though it is desirable) but someone who can fit through the door both forwards or backwards and doesn't break the step. Someone who can move from chart table to helm in less than 5 seconds is a must.
I WILL be timing you.
Robust,
I swear a lot. the stench from my guts could gag a maggot if fed the wrong food and after a few days unwashed at sea you might wonder if the smell is that of a rotting fish. I'm not a delicate flower. Thusly, the sailing companion needs a fairly sturdy set of nostrils and capacity to resist punching me every morning when I instinctively and automatically tell anyone near me to "f*&k off" before opening both eyes.
wet wipes will be provided. you may wish to bring your own febreeze.
Must like dogs,
The ships dog will be the judge of that
You will be tested
Good sense of humour,
I will be the judge of that.
You will be tested
Semi decent cook
I'm good at cakes but someone who can make savoury dishes taste greater than the sum of their sausage beans and mash components is highly desirable. When I make sausage beans and mash, it tastes like sausage beans and mash. I want someone who can make that taste like a sumptious sechuan or kung po, or massalla, or rendang, or yeah please, someone cook me something orgasmic
Physical attributes,
any hair colour, any height, any gender considered.
Whilst I dream of being a Cougar, I realise this may be limiting myself somewhat. So I'll consider anyone who's currently got a pulse.
you can read a little of what happened to the last sailing companion here
http://www.boogie-nights.org/2015/10/dont-stop-me-now.html
