Public apology

[Concerto]

I am so sorry for a comment I made in a post that has caused a lot of adverse comment. I now realise that I have a problem due to being extremely tired and pushing my body to almost beyond the limits. I now realise I am close to a breakdown. This is very difficult to admit as I am sitting here crying. For too many days I have been getting too little sleep, averaging about 4 hours a night. I now realise I have been running on andrelin and chocolate for far too long and this has been affecting my judgement. This has meant I have been a lot more twitchy and intolerant of those who do not agree with me. For this I am terribly sorry.

There have been signs from my body that I have ignored. Late at night the muscles in my limbs have felt like they had creatures crawling through them. The constant tiredness that I did not realise I should have given in to. Sailing round Britain has been a wonderful experience and I feel so bad that I screwed up towards the end. The many wonderful comments many of you have made about the reports with photographs has inflated my ego and has driven me to try and do more. Too many of you seem to think at times I am nuts for some of the things I have done, and reflecting on this I certainly have pushed too hard at times, but got away with it. Last night I had cramp in my legs for the first time for several months from trying to cycle as fast as possible the 7 miles from Hamle to Southampton.

Now I understand what my problem is I am now thinking about the final days to return home. Am I safe to sail? Yes, but I will ensure I take it easy and take a few days longer than the usual 2 to sail from the Solent back to the Medway.

I am going to take a step back from contributing to the forum for a while, except I will finish wrtitng up the last few days of my trip and the breakdown of the expenses of the trip. This will help with my recovery.

Just writing this, although difficult, is helping me come to terms with my exhaustion.

Unfortunately I cannot undo what I said and hope you will all forgive me. I need some help anf lots of rest.

 

[dankilb]

No worries C. (apart from for your own well-being). The real achievement will always be the sailing and should not be measured in terms of keeping the forum discussion entirely uncontroversial (always a tall order when essentially blogging your daily life for the time). I wouldn’t rank it as a ‘screw up’ overall (faux pas happen). Taking a conciliatory tone is very respectable and, while I’m not arguing it is entirely unnecessary, don’t beat yourself up. It’s certainly no biggie in the grand scheme of things. Get home safe…

I blame that bloody bike! ?

 

[Biggles Wader]

A big for the apology though not really required IMO. It's easy to blow things up out of all proportion on the internet. What you have done is restored a nice boat and sailed it around Britain single handed. Then done a first class blog about it. Well done and thank you for your great contribution!

 

[steveeasy]

s you head back best to reflect on the positives of such a personal achievement. Don’t let the insignificant negatives trouble you. Any apology goes a long way.
Best wishes.
Steveeasy

 

[Wandering Star]

Not sure what you’ve said which required an apology but just to say, I’ve enjoyed reading the accounts of your travels very much and appreciated the effort you’ve put in documenting them for our enjoyment. This latest post made so early in the day too, does seem to point to a need for you to take it easy on yourself for a while, you may have been pushing yourself harder than is good for you - take it easy and most importantly look after yourself. On a more practical level, if you do feel too knackered to complete your trip, you’ve plenty of friends here (self included) who would help get your boat back to the Medway if asked. Take care now.

 

[Just_sayin']

Kudos for what you’ve achieved with Concerto.

Kudos for the VAST majority of the reporting … I looked forward to, and read, every single word. At times I felt your exhaustion and celebrated your safe arrival at some very difficult ports.

Kudos for the apology … take a rest … get yourself together and make sure you bloody well write-up the rest of your journey … when you’re ready ?

 

[Stemar]

And kudos for recognising the problem and doing something about it. So many don't before it gets out of hand.

 

[Ribtecer]

As others have said, nothing to apologise for from my perspective, I have really enjoyed following your trip and reading the detail. It must be very gruelling at times, and sleeping on just a piece of foam for 4 months can't be great sleep.

There is a nasty side to this forum which is a shame and I think it stems from envy or may be even jealousy. Don't let the buggers grind you down Roger.

But you do have to think of yourself 1st. Get some proper rest and look after yourself.

Please keep us informed of your progress on both health and travel.

???

 

[hurley]

Appologies fully accepted although I think the offence was minor and its important to keep that in perspective. I hope that you are able to rest and not dwell too much on this so that it won't spoil your experience and achievement that has been a privilege to follow. It takes great courage and humility to admit when one is wrong and that is the true measure a person.

 

[benjenbav]

Lack of sleep and solitude do strange things that, imho, none of us realise soon enough and which take a while to reset.
I’m sure you’ll remember Joshua Slocum’s account of his ‘passenger’ in “Sailing Alone Around The World”.

At a more humble level, it was some months after retiring that I noticed that I’d stopped falling asleep moments after sitting down to watch a programme. I’d been pushing myself at work and sleeping 4-5 hours/night for years. It hadn’t done my stress levels any good either!

All the best and I hope you will have fair winds and the opportunity to slow down and (metaphorically) smell the roses on the last few legs of your journey. Beware inhaling too deeply lest you find yourself repeating the words of another famous single-hander, Blondie Hasler, on coming on deck on a crewed yacht, “Drains and cheap perfume? We must be off Cherbourg.”

 

[SaltIre]

Please do post threads about your final few passages - it would be remiss of you not to! As well as tiredness, as benjenbav has just said solitude is another factor...
I've enjoyed reading your "passage making posts" and the pics & videos; not all of them but the ones of north & west Scotland were of particular interest.

Take care.

 

[Supertramp]

Your daily accounts have been an inspiration and I have often wondered how you kept it up. Your almost relaxed descriptions of dealing with Britain's most notorious headlands and continual new landfalls have left me in awe. It's far more demanding to coastal hop in heavy weather than to cross open sea (or stay in the marina).

And you have learnt to cycle.....

Carry on and complete, then rest in the glory of what you have done.

 

[boomerangben]

Concerto, look after yourself. You have done something amazing, inspired me and no doubt many others. You are clearly a man who loves sailing, who loves seeing other boats sailed well and clearly knows the satisfaction that comes with a nicely trimmed rig. Most importantly the desire for others to experience that satisfaction. I wish I had been able to meet you when you were in Stornoway. Safe journey home. Enjoy the glow of your achievements, the angst brought to you by the internet will fade I’m sure. And start planning your next adventure. Bravo Sir. God be with you

 

[dom]

You know Roger, you did make a mistake and while minor i was so sorry for you; because yes, it was about to mar a great trip.

However, everyone makes mistakes, only with differences in outcome: Successful people learn from them and unsuccessful people don’t. You‘ve admitted it, so you’re 99% of the way there!

For that final 1%, my advice is to take a break, recharge your batteries, wait for a nice weather window, and then most definitely finish your accounts on here.

You‘ve put your heart and soul into this, i know this was a big milestone for you, your photography has gotten really up to speed, and it has provided interest and fun to many.

So keep it up and let minor indiscretions lie! ?? ??

 

[fredrussell]

... It takes great courage and humility to admit when one is wrong and that is the true measure a person.

Well said.

 

[Blueboatman]

Time heals
I should just give yourself permission to have a bit of a holiday (daft as that sounds) on the way home..
There are some fabulous quiet anchorages inside Chichester harbour for instance then there’s Littlehampton , Rye, hmm ?Sandwich? etc etc

Fwiw I don’t think you have so much to apologise for either
Look what you’ve achieved too in a normal family boat ! And shared
Some people can take offence at the colour of a fence !?
My two fathoms worth

 

[Ribtecer]

Some people can take offence at the colour of a fence !?
My two fathoms worth

Absolutely. ?

 

[jac]

very best wishes to you.

You may have said things that on hindsight you regret but no-one has died or been hurt because of something you did so don’t sweat it. Your apology is a fine spirited thing to do and I hope it was cathartic for you but from my perspective was not needed.

the thing to focus on is that you have sailed most of the way round the uk in a boat you have done restored wonderfully, something that many of us on here have not done but would love to. Your writing has been inspirational and I’m sure will encourage many to do it themselves.

the priority now must be your health so rest, enjoy the scenery, , get some sleep and don’t push yourself.

 

[owen]

It takes a tough person to sail singlehanded round the UK.

It takes a gifted person to prepare and write such readable and inspirational copy every day and to include the pictures and videos.

It takes an even stronger person to admit they made a mistake, apologise and then move on . Well done again for all of your achievements this summer. I look forward to the conclusion of the voyage.

 

[PhillM]

It takes a tough person to sail singlehanded round the UK.

It takes a gifted person to prepare and write such readable and inspirational copy every day and to include the pictures and videos.

It takes an even stronger person to admit they made a mistake, apologise and then move on . Well done again for all of your achievements this summer. I look forward to the conclusion of the voyage.

Well said that man. Concerto no worries about what’s said. Concentrate on the awesome achievement. Happy to read your comments whenever you make them.