Boat names unsuitable for radio

[snowleopard]

Imagine saying this over the radio

 

[snowleopard]

And an honourable mention should go to Prince Jefri of Brunei and his superyacht Tits with its tenders Nipple1 and Nipple2.

 

[Marakei]

Heard on the radio this weekend, Solent Coastguard trying to get further facts about a yacht which was heard calling 'distress distress distress'.

Shortly afterwards, 'pan pan cancelled, vessel was calling another vessel with a name that sounded like distress'.

 

[lustyd]

A RIB around Southampton a few years ago called Canine Gonads. Heard CG ask them to rename.

A boat here in Auckland called:

Look at the size of that BBQ! It's brobably burned to the waterline by now...

 

[Fourbees]

A RIB around Southampton a few years ago called Canine Gonads. Heard CG ask them to rename.

There's a mobo in Gosport Marina called Mutts Nuts.

 

[keyfonts]

Fishing boat names that make me chuckle

Master Baiter

Euro Anchor

Also listened to a may day once where vessel was called Pussy Patrol, must have been thinking that one up in the pub. . . .

Portishead marina dorys are called hunky (larger one one) and dinky (smaller)

 

[chanelyacht]

Heard on the radio this weekend, Solent Coastguard trying to get further facts about a yacht which was heard calling 'distress distress distress'.

Shortly afterwards, 'pan pan cancelled, vessel was calling another vessel with a name that sounded like distress'.

Actually it was Portland, but never mind

After several replays of the original call, it still sounded exactly like "distress" - and the fact that initially no-one responded merely hightened the concern that we might have had something that had disappeared very quickly...

In the end, we identified it through the yacht that was being called, and then the original one called us. I won't name it one here, but the name is very close indeed to "distress".

 

[PetiteFleur]

Someone mentioned an Io on here recently. Presumably owned by a dwarf

Yes - just upriver from me on the River Deben

 

[Evadne]

The one I heard last week on the vhf turned out not to be a pair of strangely named boats after all, but Portland coastguard transmitting:
"OK, OK, enough is enough".

 

[Pasarell]

The name inherited with my current boat is Chanson de Matin. I like the name and anyway am just about supersticious enough to not want to change it. Not a big user of VHF and the thought of having to spell it all phonetically makes me even more reluctant. Any harbour master who needs to write the name on a receipt usually shortens it to Chanson

 

[jhr]

Please tell me all of the above are real 'cos I've had a really **** day and just needed the chuckle reading this thread has generated!

I can vouch for "Mr Tinkles", because I once sat on board her in Oostende, before her name was changed, drinking the skipper out of house and home. On the way back, we tried to call him up on the VHF but he wouldn't answer

In spite of having changed her name, I'm told that the skipper still does the "house and home" stuff

 

[John.edwards]

my 16 year old wants to call my next boat 'heliotrope' ... hotel echo lima indiia oscar...oh b****r it ive sunk already

 

[AntarcticPilot]

Another one I saw in Belgium last year.

Obviously a Terry Pratchett fan! See "The Last Continent"

 

[lotusman]

tempted to reply to a hail from Sirius

with

You cannot be Sirius

 

[ditchcrawler]

I saw a boast in Holland called Never Mind.Can you imagine a mayday conversation.
This is never mind.Response.Do you want rescuing or not.Never mind.etc

 

[gunman]

Thre's a boat round here called 'Knot Sure'. A couple of years ago he was involved in towing a disabled vessel,part of the RT traffic went like this:
Forth coastguard, this is Knot Sure, Knot Sure, over.
This is Forth CG, say again the name of your vessel?
CG, Knot Sure, Knot Sure, over.
Station callling Forth CG, can you spell the name of your vessel....

You had to be there, really.

My boat was named "KNOT SURE" when I bought it, have changed it now tho.

 

[trapezeartist]

I believe there is a VLCC or similar called Titan Uranus...

There most certainly is. http://www.icis.com/blogs/icis-chemicals-confidential/titan%20uranus.jpg

 

[Boomshanka]

There most certainly is. http://www.icis.com/blogs/icis-chemicals-confidential/titan%20uranus.jpg

This must be her sister ship:

Couple of other strange ones here:

 

[onesea]

This must be her sister ship:
Couple of other strange ones here:

There is nothing strange about that name, just honest....

 

[mijibear]

i thought of naming our next boat "Inside Out" but thought it might be confusing on the VHF!