Boat names unsuitable for radio

[snowleopard]

Heard this exchange a couple of days ago

'Wet Dreams, Wet dreams this is Nauti Crew'.

What boat names would you not want to have to call out over the radio?

 

[Litotes]

What boat names would you not want to have to call out over the radio?

In the days when Colchester was a commercial port, there was a coaster that visited regularly with the curious name of "Kwack".

We had a friend who as a pilot and he told us the pilots all used to fight NOT to be the one to call her on the radio.

Kwack......Kwack.......Kwack........

 

[Sybaris]

We heard "Hay day" called out on the VHF several years ago on one of the lakes in Holland. Repeated several times with an excited voice on a crackling VHS ... no good

 

[john_q]

Spotted on the Deben a few years ago - HUGH JANUS

 

[FistralG]

Pan
Warwick Hunt
Norfolk n Good

 

[Otter]

Also on the Deben a nice Hardy called Kiss Me

"kiss me kiss me kiss me" just sounds desperate

 

[npf1]

About three years ago, I overheard Solent coastguard remonstrating with a boat called "Hell". As you can imagine the conversation was interesting.

 

[snowleopard]

About three years ago, I overheard Solent coastguard remonstrating with a boat called "Hell". As you can imagine the conversation was interesting.

I gave a tow to a boat called 'Hell's Bells'. It was interesting coordination that over the radio.

 

[Litotes]

Pan
Warwick Hunt
Norfolk n Good

It is said that the existence of a boat called "Pan" was the reason for changing the relevant pro word to "PanPan".

 

[Boomshanka]

How about 'nee nor' as in ... 'nee nor, nee nor, nee nor, this is Solent Coastguard'

 

[KenMcCulloch]

Thre's a boat round here called 'Knot Sure'. A couple of years ago he was involved in towing a disabled vessel,part of the RT traffic went like this:
Forth coastguard, this is Knot Sure, Knot Sure, over.
This is Forth CG, say again the name of your vessel?
CG, Knot Sure, Knot Sure, over.
Station callling Forth CG, can you spell the name of your vessel....

You had to be there, really.

 

[Daedelus]

There was the time that a yacht called "Don't Panic" had a small fire in the engine area and called Pan pan or Mayday.

Solent CG did their best but in the end after he told them that the inshore lifeboat was on it's way he just couldn't resist.

 

[lw395]

There was a boat called 'the phantom raspberry blower of old London Town'. QHM always seemed to shorten it to 'Phantom'.

 

[chanelyacht]

How about 'nee nor' as in ... 'nee nor, nee nor, nee nor, this is Solent Coastguard'

Nope, you'd become "station for Solent Coastguard"

We do get quite a few ..err..odd names. "Haydays" is one that always wakes us up on a quiet night, and one area I worked had a "Sanpan" too.

One that always made me smile was "Kiss my Bass" on a local fishing boat.

If it's a really silly name, I won't say it. There's so many other ways of talking to you - or if I'm feeling really awkward, I'll make you spell it. Twice

Then of course there's the commercial vessel "Titan Uranus" which is one on the list to put out on 16...

 

[Daedelus]

When SWMBO developed breast cancer many years ago her mother changed her will so I wouldn't inherit. She told SWMBO I would be sure to spend the money on "some floozy" and she wasn't having that.

Happily SWMBO survived and when we camer to name a boat toyed with the idea of calling her "Some Floozy" - a friend advised us against and glad we didn't.






Did encounter a yacht called "Fat bottom Lady" and were told to moor alongside. Both crew and I chickened out of calling boat name to lady sat reading in the cockpit and just went for "Er, excuse me..."

She later told us that she and her husnband had not named the boat and that as far as she was concerned her husband could make all VHF calls unless and until the name was changed.

 

[Oscar24]

Boat names made for radio

always thought "Cortland Postcard" had a nice ring to it

 

[MoodySabre]

A certain forumite (now at Wicor) bought a boat called Mr Tinkles - that used to get a few laughs. He has now changed it.......

 

[chubby]

Recently heard in Portsmouth: "poor boy" calling "spanker" ooch!

seen in dartmouth years ago a mobo called "Didyoubringthebeeralong"

 

[Bru]

Please tell me all of the above are real 'cos I've had a really **** day and just needed the chuckle reading this thread has generated!

 

[mikemacdonald]

we are called Chocolate Goose, seems to make kids laugh when we are alongside, we are brown hull and a Snowgoose witha couple of geese painted on the bows. I hope its not seen as some rude suggestion, any comment? Coastguard seem OK with it.
Mike