Aye but I think Sgeir is yin o yon tree huggie fashionable red lefties. He'll be awfie concerned aboot his diet and wullnae be wantin any o yon E things in the chives in his cottage cheese..
A favourite meeting place, recommended by a certain, well known Scotsman, is Newark. Not too far for those of you North of the Border - around 300 miles +?
Naw - got it all wrang. Ye cannae pick yer teeth wi' a Chav. A Chiv is bit like, that, certain je ne sais quoi, a toothpick up against a big yacht, peut etre.
As for the query from our pronunciation correspondent: "Chib" is perfectly acceptable. Provided you're young, ie below 50.
Past that, we tend to slobber a bit after a few pints. So we use the Gaelic"bh". Saves a lot of time.
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Somewhere central like Doune or Anniesland
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Between Doune and Thornhill is a tower in a field, built to mark the centre of Scotland. It's nowhere near, really, but it'll do me. If you look south from the top of the hillclimb at Doune you can see it.
So that's central then. The Woodside is pretty receptive to rabbles, has decent rooms and there is plenty of alternative accomodation in the village.
It's not very boaty though, is it?