Famous One Liners (nb)

[ScoutLeader]

Having just read Doctors and Nurses, how about famous one liners.
ie
"What the heck was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima 1945

<hr width=100% size=1>

 

[powerskipper]

how about these!!!!
Haven't I seen you someplace before?" "Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore."

"Is this seat empty?" "Yes, and this one will be if you sit down."

"Your place or mine?" "Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine."

"So, what do you do for a living?" "I'm a female impersonator."

"Hey baby, what's your sign?" "Do not enter."

"How do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized"

"Your body is like a temple." "Sorry, there are no services today."

"I would go to the end of the world for you." "But would you stay there?"
"If I could see you naked, I'd die happy." "If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."


<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://powerskipper.mysite.freeserve.com/>http://powerskipper.mysite.freeserve.com/</A>
Julie

 

[jhr]

Suave chat up lines

"My face is leaving in 10 minutes' time - be on it"!

"They call me 'the Roadie', 'cos I'm the one carrying the heavy equipment".

My favourite chat up line comes from Viz Comic's "Sid the Sexist":

"How, pet, it's time to talk about the weather"

"The weather"?

"Why aye - the whether or not yer gonna **** me, the neet."

Apologies to all............

P.S. Australian foreplay:

"Hey, Sheila, you awake"?

/forums/images/icons/smile.gif

<hr width=100% size=1>Je suis Marxiste - tendance Groucho

 

[StugeronSteve]

Or...

Is that really your nose?

The moment I saw you I remembered I'd not taken the dog out.

<hr width=100% size=1>God only made so many perfect heads. The rest got covered in hair.

 

[tcm]

"okay, but apart from that, Mrs Lincoln - did you enjoy the performance?"

<hr width=100% size=1>

 

[Bergman]

I never forget a face - but in your case I'll make an exception

If I have any more to drink I'll be under the host.

If all the girls in Manhattan were laid end to end I would'nt be surprised

Do you mind if I smoke? - I don't mind if you burst into flames.



<hr width=100% size=1>

 

[claymore]

A speech should be like a mini skirt - long enough to cover the subject and short enough to keep it interesting.

<hr width=100% size=1><font color=purple>regards
Claymore<font color=purple>
/forums/images/icons/smile.gif

 

[nicho]

Lady Astor to Winston Churchill....."Sir, you are drunk"

Winston Churchill to Lady Astor....."Madam, you are ugly, but at least in the morning I will be sober!"

<hr width=100% size=1>

 

[longjohnsadler]

Fly fishing may be a very pleasant amusement; but angling or float fishing I can only compare to a stick and a string, with a worm at one end and a fool at the other.

What is written without effort is in general read without pleasure.

 

[jimi]

"Why is it?" ... Nicho

<hr width=100% size=1>

 

[Bergman]

Re: Submarine?

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck.

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

Do you think I could buy back my introduction to you?

If at first you don't succeed, try, try, again. Then quit, no use being a damn fool about things.

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.

When caught between two evils I generally pick the one I've never tried before

Quote me as saying I was misquoted

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.

She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong

The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast

The good end happily, the bad unhappily - that is what fiction means

My own business always bore's me to death; I prefer other people's .

The most incomprehensible thing about the universe is that it is comprehensible.

It's not that I'm so smart , it's just that I stay with problems longer.

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

The best reformers the world has ever seen are those who commence on themselves

Anyone who hates small dogs and children can't be all bad.

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.



<hr width=100% size=1>

 

[Twister_Ken]

My mate Andy

On having a motorcyclist run into the back of his car when he was waiting at a traffic light - to motorcyclist sprawled on road, and looking rather foolish.

"So, how do you stop when I'm not here?"

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.writeforweb.com/twister1>Let's Twist Again</A>

 

[Alpha22]

One liner

There is hardly anything in the world that some man cannot make a little worse and sell a little cheeper, and the people who consider price only are his lawful prey.
RUSKIN.

<hr width=100% size=1>Last weekend was shopping darling........ so this weekend is boating. (Duck!)

 

[cameronke]

And on philosophical existentialism.......

I'm pink therefor I'm spam

Regards
Cameron

<hr width=100% size=1>Work to live, live to sail

 

[jimi]

To be is to do .... Socrates.
To do is to be ... Jean-Paul Sartre.
Vrroomm Vrroom Vrooom .... TCM

<hr width=100% size=1>

 

[ScoutLeader]

There ARE no waterfalls in this stretch of the river.

Sharks - The water is too cold for sharks around here

Irish foreplay - "Brace yourself Bridget"

<hr width=100% size=1>

 

[ScoutLeader]

There ARE no waterfalls in this stretch of the river.

Sharks - The water is too cold for sharks around here

Irish foreplay - "Brace yourself Bridget"

Australian Foreply " No! well do you mond if I do then"

<hr width=100% size=1>

 

[ScoutLeader]

There ARE no waterfalls in this stretch of the river.

Sharks - The water is too cold for sharks around here

Irish foreplay - "Brace yourself Bridget"

Australian Foreply " No! well do you mind if I do then"

<hr width=100% size=1>

 

[jhr]

"How could they tell"?

- Dorothy Parker, on being informed that US President Calvin Coolidge had died. Could be applied to one or two more recent Presidents as well..............

"Everybody should have something they believe in - I believe I'll have a Dry Martini" (Anon)

<hr width=100% size=1>Je suis Marxiste - tendance Groucho

 

[jimi]

So good he said it thrice;-)

<hr width=100% size=1>