Boat names unsuitable for radio

Some years ago we were in Gibraltar and heard a boat calling, This is Fanny Magnet, Fanny Magnet, Fanny Magnet, over. A while later we were hit whilst at anchor in Tobago by, you've guessed it, Fanny Magnet!
 
Gerry said:
Some years ago we were in Gibraltar and heard a boat calling, This is Fanny Magnet, Fanny Magnet, Fanny Magnet, over. A while later we were hit whilst at anchor in Tobago by, you've guessed it, Fanny Magnet!
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Er….what does that make you then ? ?
 
My Seadog ketch was "Dogboat", named by the first owner who was the skipper of an MTB, which were nicknamed Dogboats.
Sailing back across the Dover Strait I called Dover Coastguard for routine traffic.
He came back "yacht Dogpoo"
Who would call a boat Dogpoo?
I stayed calm and corrected him by spelling the name phonetically.
I could hear the sniggering over the vhf!
 
Debennut said:
My Seadog ketch was "Dogboat", named by the first owner who was the skipper of an MTB, which were nicknamed Dogboats.
Sailing back across the Dover Strait I called Dover Coastguard for routine traffic.
He came back "yacht Dogpoo"
Who would call a boat Dogpoo?
I stayed calm and corrected him by spelling the name phonetically.
I could hear the sniggering over the vhf!
Click to expand...
Dogboat was moored just above Woolverstone Marina many years ago as she was then owned by the owner of Deer Park Lodge and I believe used her for sailing instruction, can't remember his name though.
 
Cy Blackwell, P&Q Sailing. I passed my coastal skipper with him and bought Dogboat when he retired
 
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Debennut said:
My Seadog ketch was "Dogboat", named by the first owner who was the skipper of an MTB, which were nicknamed Dogboats.
Sailing back across the Dover Strait I called Dover Coastguard for routine traffic.
He came back "yacht Dogpoo"
Who would call a boat Dogpoo?
I stayed calm and corrected him by spelling the name phonetically.
I could hear the sniggering over the vhf!
Click to expand...
Great name for a boat belonging to a former MTB jockey (Dogboat, not Dogpoo that is).

For those interested in MTB operations I can highly recommend Night Attack, Peter Dickens memoir of his wartime experiences.
 
Chiara’s slave said:
‘Alboran’ at our club is universally known as ‘All-Bran’, and ‘Genista’ as ‘Genitalia’.
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I remember an oyster 43 called “Itzapurlatoo” (the owner already had a cruising yacht named Itzapurla). Her topsides were a lurid shade of green.

6D40764D-EEAD-4C86-8247-DFCE34E897A5.jpeg
She was quickly nicknamed “It’s a portaloo”. I recall after the crew mutinied on the Cervantes trophy in 1983 and took the ferry home from Cherbourg, the owner going up and down the pontoons trying to find crew willing to help him sail the boat home.
 
A long long time ago I sailed the Irish Sea in a GK24 called "Get Knotted".

I also enjoyed listening to a yacht called "Tickety Boo" on the radio near Finisterre in 2009.
 
I have mentioned before on this forum the Cornish Shrimper that a pal of mine bought. Keeping it initially in Rock, he named it BIBYN BUBYN which he claimed was old Cornish for a shrimp. VHF traffic with harbour masters further East was mostly punctuated with muffled laughter and requests for repeated letter by letter spelling. Friends on other boats were not so kind and usually ended up with Bibbing Bobbing and worse.
 
Colvic Watson said:
Also on the Deben a nice Hardy called Kiss Me

"kiss me kiss me kiss me" just sounds desperate
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That thing ever got as far as the Deben? I thought it was a fixed part of the Brundall Inshore Cruiser Squadron.
It always made me cringe.
My God. you'd need skin as thick as a Rhino to give a boat a name as cheesy as that.
Why would you hate your boat so much that you'd demean and ridicule it it with such an awful bad-taste name?

I did once see a sunsail type plastic benny of some sort in Turkey called "Sweetie Dear".
The mind boggles what sort of assistance might get out there if you called mayday with that callsign...
 
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Years ago I towed a motorboat for some distance to a safe mooring after his outdrives got stuck when raised up. To my subsequent embarrassment - and despite my dad shelling out for Latin classes when I was a kid - I got the pronunciation of "Superbum" completely wrong multiple times over the VHF, giving a very different meaning to that intended. The skipper was too polite to correct me at the time but must have forgiven me, next time I came down to the boat I found a large bag of assorted spirits in the cockpit. The only time I could have put that education to good use and I flunked it! On the other hand, maybe he didn't know any better either.
 
jlavery said:
Sister ship to J-109 Jumping Jellyfish. Yes, really.
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My son reminded me it wasn't "Jazzy Jellyfish" but "Jolly Jellyfish" that was trying to claim right of way over a fishing boat. We were on a long beat to Lands End and JJ was trying to stay on her tack. The taciturn fishing boat skipper reminded them that as he was fishing he had right of way.
 
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