You know you are a sailor when?

[Nostrodamus]

So get those minds ticking over. How do you know when you are a sailor.
One to get you started

you think sugar was invented by Satan, duct tape by God

 

[Nostrodamus]

you find yourself bleeding from random places at random times of the day.

when some asks “What do you do all day?” your reply is “I don’t know, but it takes all day to do it!”

 

[onesea]

You wonder why there is no rice in the salt.

 

[Nostrodamus]

A throwaway line is rope less than six centimetres long

 

[Robert Wilson]

During the winter you can't get into your garage for sails, outboards, rope, tins of antifouling, the dinghy, liferaft etc etc (for garage, can substitute spare room, hall, porch etc etc

 

[Nostrodamus]

During the winter you can't get into your garage for sails, outboards, rope, tins of antifouling, the dinghy, liferaft etc etc (for garage, can substitute spare room, hall, porch etc etc

Your car boot becomes a cockpit locker

 

[Nostrodamus]

you lay awake in bed when it’s windy and debate whether or not to cut your neighbour’s halyard

You always buy extra beer because your neighbours will be over the minute they see you sitting in your cockpit drinking one

you buy your wife a fancy new LED light instead of flowers and she is more excited about than if you bought her flowers

having sex involves turning on a dehumidifier

you know the exact combination of space heater, microwave, toaster, and coffee pot to run without tripping the circuit breaker on the dock

you have to put an umbrella up inside during a rainstorm

anytime you consider buying something you wonder what you’ll have to get rid of to make room for it

 

[sarabande]

you wake up in a marina and leap out the bunk when a mooring line goes Creeeeeak instead of Creeeeak.

Before driving off in the car you check round for shore power cables.

You can smell land when there is none in sight.

The log trips round from 9999.

You no longer worry about carrying a knife and spike in your belt when going ashore.

It's no worry as a man to ask your wife to lend you some needles.

You can walk round a chandlery and leave without buying anything you really really need.

You look at the battery meters more than the bilges.

You look at the bilges more than in the wine locker.

 

[Tam Lin]

On a November morning while sitting in bed at home with no possibility of going sailing for months, you check the wind on the forecast and by looking out of the window.

 

[Frankie-H]

Anything that you have found that you really need must be backed up with a spare. Even if that spare is never used.

 

[Nostrodamus]

You cannot walk past the marina skip without looking inside (every day)

 

[Nostrodamus]

A good position for sex is anywhere you don't bang your head

 

[charles_reed]

Confession

What the hell is a sailor?

When one tries to analyse and specify this simple term it becomes a truly movable spec. Perhaps this is where one starts?

So how about the specification of a sailor?

"One who's sailed all the seas of the world, survived a shipwreck, can tie all known knots, do starsight calcs in his head and never makes a mistake at sea"

I reckon we're all ruled out, even if we have an Extra Master's certificate.

 

[Barnacle Bill]

You stop buying new gadgets for the boat.

 

[PuffTheMagicDragon]

When you habitually walk, with feet planted widely apart, in a well-defined zig-zag....even when on land.

 

[25931]

When the crew don't turn up you go out for a sail just for your own pleasure.

 

[Carmel2]

The many stages of being told to throw something out.

1. "Get rid of that damn thing" ... "but it might come in handy". "You said that last year and it hasn't been used once! Get rid of it!"

2. I move said thing to another locker.

3. See 1.

4. See 2.

 

[SamanthaTabs]

During a recent and great fun "deck fluff" only evening aboard in with other topics were discussions about the efficiency of each persons solar panels, the annoyance of anchor chain not falling properly in the locker, blocked loos and when we prefer to put the first reef in.... Are we sailors then??

 

[flaming]

When driving your car you keep scanning your instruments wondering why you can't see the information you want. Then realise what you were looking for was true wind speed.

I have also been known to call for room at a roundabout. Clearly had an overlap...

 

[Eyore]

You scour brokers websites and Apollo Duck on a daily basis despite being more than happy with your boat and having no intention of changing it. Don't know why.