You know you are a sailor when?

... when you rarely say "rope".

... when you know that lee is not somebody's name.

... when you know that a kill cord is only a lethal weapon if you don't wear it.

... when you know that running lights are not a moving traffic offence.

... when you know that only whores are tied-up and boats are moored.
 
Last edited:
When the wife say's it's me or the boat and you say "I'll give you the answer after I've nipped down the chandlers".

I know a certain forumite whose girlfriend gave him that ultimatum. I think she was quite surprised at his instant answer and offer to help pack up her things :)

Pete
 
I know a certain forumite whose girlfriend gave him that ultimatum. I think she was quite surprised at his instant answer and offer to help pack up her things :)

Pete

Been there. Done that. Lost the T-shirt.

I still believe that I did give the obvious answer.

Took me quite a number of years to get used to her absence from my life though.
 
When you are sailing along on a fine sunny day without a care in the world on a beam reach, and an errant wave strikes the quarter and is propelled vertically up, thinks for a while about whether to go into orbit before descending on the back of your neck and, because you didn't put the hood of your oilies up, all the way down your spine.
 
When you mention, randomly, to your business colleagues, that it's going to be a high tide that night.
When a friend mentions how bad the weather has been lately, and you inform them that a cold front is moving west and should hit sometime tomorrow, with F7 off the east coast.

When you apologise for being late for work on the grounds that its "bottom of springs" and my thames clipper couldn't get to my pier, so I had the get the tube.

When someone comments on the weather, and you pull out the GRIBs on your iPad and give a very poor Simon/Frank impression as to how it's been building, and how it might develop over the next week...
 
You tend to remember the cracking broad reaches in flat water and sunshine, whilst the cold wet beats into the green stuff fade in the memory.

This filtering function of the memory is an essential attribute. Without it most people would give up sailing after a few rough passages.
 
When she says "I think you love that boat more than you love me".............to which you reply



............ "But you're a very close second dear............"
 
Last edited:
As in, one's something with that needs constant care and attention, money splashed out on expensive unguents to maintain it's dilapidated bodywork, you wondered why you bought when it's cheaper to rent - and the other's your boat?
 
When you are too tight to buy new foulies and then water pours in.... you fart bubbles.

You then go to a marina for shelter, wonder why they give you strange looks and see your reflection in the nearby window is all white with salt and you have puddles under your feet.

Return to boat, open wash boards and see the water inside is up to the bunk level and realise that draught excluder, whilst cheap and pretty is not as efficient as gaffer tape at keeping water from entering via the hatch cover.

Then you know that because the wind is free, nothing else is and you are now a frugal sailor and then spend more in the pub in one relief filled session than your whole years maintenance budget!

And what's more my son.......
 
When you walk into your shed and you can barely move because of all the boaty bits you have bought, usually off eBay, auctions or boat jumbles "just in case they'll come in handy" and "that'll improve the boat - but somehow you never get round to fitting them........."
 
Top