What is the most idiotic mistake you have made on a boat?

Nostrodamus said:
What is the biggest cock-up you or another have made when on a boat?
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JUMPING down into an old hard tender when alongside a mooring, and the tender was the only way of getting ashore. Not much buoyancy left with a two-boot-sized hole in the bottom.....

On someone else's boat steering a compass course back from Lundy to Ilfracombe on a warm hazy summers day after quite a few pints at the Marisco Tavern, and suddenly realising we were well into Bideford Bay....

Running out of diesel in a busy harbour entrance (Hong Kong), and suddenly realising that it had been several years since I'd put any in the 4 gallon tank.....

Heading offshore from a small harbour tucked under high cliffs under full sail on a dead run with an offshore wind. About half a mile out got hammered near flat, by the time the chaos was sorted it was clear that the wind was more like 7-8 rather than 2-3, and that that particular little centreboard boat was not actually very good to windward in that much wind and a building sea. Five minutes out - several hours to beat back.....

And late last year - standing on the cockpit seat and 5-point-turning in a very tight marina channel, slipping and banging the gearlever into full astern. Fortunately the bit of the boat I bumped into was a very solid and hard part, and it was only my own gelcoat that got damaged. Honest - I did look at the other boat....

Filling a compass with a bubble with pure alcohol - all the little numbers and lines dissolved off the card and floated around prettily.....

Just a few....
 
jwilson said:
Filling a compass with a bubble with pure alcohol - all the little numbers and lines dissolved off the card and floated around prettily.....

Just a few....
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Love that one...

My wife for some reason dives into the dinghy. On one occasion she hit the side of the dinghy that had come to pick us up bouncing the occupants over the side and into the water in their best clothes.
 
jwilson said:
JUMPING down into an old hard tender when alongside a mooring, and the tender was the only way of getting ashore. Not much buoyancy left with a two-boot-sized hole in the bottom.....

On someone else's boat steering a compass course back from Lundy to Ilfracombe on a warm hazy summers day after quite a few pints at the Marisco Tavern, and suddenly realising we were well into Bideford Bay....

Running out of diesel in a busy harbour entrance (Hong Kong), and suddenly realising that it had been several years since I'd put any in the 4 gallon tank.....

Heading offshore from a small harbour tucked under high cliffs under full sail on a dead run with an offshore wind. About half a mile out got hammered near flat, by the time the chaos was sorted it was clear that the wind was more like 7-8 rather than 2-3, and that that particular little centreboard boat was not actually very good to windward in that much wind and a building sea. Five minutes out - several hours to beat back.....

And late last year - standing on the cockpit seat and 5-point-turning in a very tight marina channel, slipping and banging the gearlever into full astern. Fortunately the bit of the boat I bumped into was a very solid and hard part, and it was only my own gelcoat that got damaged. Honest - I did look at the other boat....

Filling a compass with a bubble with pure alcohol - all the little numbers and lines dissolved off the card and floated around prettily.....

Just a few....
Click to expand...

Jwilson,

as is often the case you have passed on good tips with your humourous post, I would have quite happily used neat alcohol to top up compasses if I hadn't read that !

The RAF monthly incident report form ' Feedback ' is deliberately made funny for all but the worst reports, as it sticks in one's mind...
 
A few years ago I tried to make it from Woodbridge marina out of the Deben and up the coast to River Ore. Hasty calculations and a touch of optimism showed it was not possible on one tide and I was met with a strong ebb, just about made it in and crept up the river at 1 knot to the shelter and anchorage of the Butley River. Alas, I cut the corner in my haste and got well stuck in the sticky mud. Put the alarm on for early hours high water, slept in clothes, woke up in total blackness, up anchor, mud everywhere, crossed the river and hit the bank on the other side. Woke in the morning at a very uncomfortable angle even with bilge keels. Had to sit it out for hours contemplating my errors and reluctantly waving back to the 'round the island' day-trippers.
 
We got a berth for our first boat, a brand new Jouet 920, in Mercury Yacht Harbour but on the South side with very tight access between the river bank and the marina. On one of our earliest trips, we approached the berth and at nicely slow speed, my wife leapt off with the line to the bow while I put the engine in neutral and took the stern line "ashore". Unfortunately, in my anxiety to make the line fast I was quickly over the guard rail before realising that I had kicked the throttle into full astern as I left the cockpit. As the boat reversed itself out the berth my wife could not hold on and let go her line leaving me to do a kamikaze leap over the rails, land in a heap in the cockpit and put the helm hard over to avoid grounding on the bank and I then had to avoid neighbouring boats and getting ropes around the prop- just as well it was January and nobody was about.

I did wonder the following week when a Peyton cartoon appeared that was almost a facsimile of the event! We still chuckle over the event when we get our first narrative log out for new crew to read.
 
Just off the North Falls in the days before I had VHF etc
having been smashed against the pier at Nieuport we split 3 strakes on each side of the hull & severely damaged the mast. This was caused by the Stuart turner cutting out as we exited the harbour & the waves carried us sideways
2 days later in light airs having decided to make a run for home
We got towed a mile offshore so we could start the motor & motor home whilst pumping water every half hour as the boat rolled & took on water through the broken planks. The ST kept cutting out due to water in the fuel so i decided to drain a cupful of petrol through the line to try & clear it. I could not be bothered to catch it but let the petrol run in the bilge, intending to pump it out with the foot of water in the bilge.
I then took the plug out & held it on the side of the cylinder to turn the engine over & blow out excess fuel from the cylinder & burn it off as the plug sparked. As I did this the flame ran down to the carb drip tray & thence down to the fuel floating on the water right through the middle of the boat. It went up with a big flash. i lifted a floor board & put the flame out with an extinguisher. however, it just floated back with the water. I had to take all the boards up & blast 2 fire extinguishers right along the centre of the boat to put it out. By this time the crew had the dinghy over the side & were getting in to it
 
Whilst extremely tired crossing from Burnham to ostend a ship blew its hooter. being partly asleep & unable to comprehend i turned towards it instead of away. the skipper looked down from the bridge & yelled " you daft Barsteward" then the spray from his part exposed prop ( it was running unloaded) shot gallons of water over us as it just missed the boat. The ship a large coaster was turning hard to miss us
 
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. . . Then there was the time sailing from Mullion Cove to the Scillies, again single handed in the Hurley 22. Travelling overnight so I’d arrive around dawn, to make my approach with lit marks visible, then have daylight to see the coast/rocks closer in. (Them were the days!)

My course took me close to Wolf Rock Lighthouse, which being good visibility I could see ahead of me for hours and hours. The continual flashing ahead of me grew irritating, and as I got very, very, painfully slowly closer it got brighter and was spoiling my night vision, so I was avoiding looking in that direction, or holding my hand up to shield it from view. All of a sudden I realised the light was above me, rather than ahead – after watching the bloody thing for hours I was about to hit it!

Heart thumping I started the outboard and turned directly way from it flat out, then shut the throttle right down when it occurred to me I had no idea how extensive or in what direction the rocks were – I’d never intended to be anywhere near that close. Dashed below for the chart, but couldn’t see well enough by torchlight at that scale to see where/if danger lay. Couldn’t judge how far off the light I was in the dark anyway, so gingerly kept heading away from it for a probably inordinate distance before resuming my intended heading, during which time my heart had gradually returned to a more normal pace.
 
The engine start on our boat is in the cabin.

Getting ready to leave our swinging mooring. started the engine poked my head out and noticed masts going by ! ran up realised she was in gear and was heading for the next boat pretty quickly. Not really sure if we would have collided or if the mooring that we were still attached to would have spun us round.

As is always the way someone was fishing from really close in a small boat. we looked at each other he said "alright ?" I said "yes thanks":)
 
When I was a kid (13?) my father and I were trying to come off our mooring in Rye. I was on the foredeck of our Debutante waiting for the shout to let go. It was a full Spring tide. The Vile, opps sorry, Vire 6 Hp was going flat out, and the 40+Seagull on the transform was also giving it a go. On the command "Let go!" I managed to slip my hand into the loop in the mooring line, which immediately tightened around my wrist. In a few seconds I was dragged off the foredeck and into the water. The rope went slack and released me as my father motored noisily past. I felt such a Pratt and too frightened to swim out across the trott moorings. As a result I had to wait until I got out of the bottom end of the trots some quarter of a mile away. Trotts is a good description: I got a very sharp note from the laundry in the morning! Good job my life jacket was nice a dry and safe hanging in the cabin.
 
birdseye said:
One? Mistake single? I have reached page 100 in the draft of my book " how not to go sailing". I expect to fund my retirement from it so I wont reveal the contents. Yet.
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What ever you do do no try to make any money by posting about it on this forum without shouting about profiteering , otherwise the jealous ones will be on you like a pack of dogs
 
When parked near Tinkers Hole (boat without sails up in the shiny water on the left of the pic) we decided to go ashore to look out of the lighthouse signal station.
We pulled the dingy up the beach (bottom right in pic) right to the top but there wasn't anything to tie it to so just left it.
On getting back to the dinghy it was floating about 20yds off where we left it, the beach was completely covered, right up to the grass.
By the time I had stripped to my pants it was further off.
I swam after it pell mell trying to catch it before it got too far.
By the time I was half way out of the inlet it was just passing the rocks at the end so I started wondering how much it was going to cost me to replace the tender and outboard and weather it was worth killing my self chasing the thing.
When I got to the rocks at the end of the inlet I was done in and the dingy was away, lost as far as I was concerned.
I got out onto the rocks to recover and think about what to do next.
We hadn't seen any traffic all day but just as I got to the top of the rocks two kayakers were just there, "is that your dingy"?
What a relief, they got it back before it disappeared into the sound of Iona.
 

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Just outside Portsmouth harbour, having motored from Chichester due to a lack of wind, engine dies. IOW ferry coming out of Portsmouth harbour. Unfurl genoa in vain attempt to get some way on. Engine won't restart. Go below to check engine. Attempt to bleed engine. seems to be a lack of fuel. SWMBO suggests checking fuel cock in aft locker, and I find it is off! Turn fuel cock on and engine restarts immediately. Had somehow motored all the way from chi harbour to portsmouth with engine (beta) sucking fuel past a switched off fuel cock. Always check now..........
 
Arrived singlehanded at Dover once and made a good entrance at the Granville Dock, made fast, finished with the engine, went below to tidy the boat, took off oilies, and turned off instruments, then looked up through a hatch and saw the main still up??
Must have been a still evening :)
 
bryeomans said:
We got a berth for our first boat, a brand new Jouet 920, in Mercury Yacht Harbour but on the South side with very tight access between the river bank and the marina. On one of our earliest trips, we approached the berth and at nicely slow speed, my wife leapt off with the line to the bow while I put the engine in neutral and took the stern line "ashore". Unfortunately, in my anxiety to make the line fast I was quickly over the guard rail before realising that I had kicked the throttle into full astern as I left the cockpit. As the boat reversed itself out the berth my wife could not hold on and let go her line leaving me to do a kamikaze leap over the rails, land in a heap in the cockpit and put the helm hard over to avoid grounding on the bank and I then had to avoid neighbouring boats and getting ropes around the prop- just as well it was January and nobody was about.

I did wonder the following week when a Peyton cartoon appeared that was almost a facsimile of the event! We still chuckle over the event when we get our first narrative log out for new crew to read.
Click to expand...

I've done virtually the same thing, kind of embarrassing when the boat leaves without you.
 
aquaplane said:
When parked near Tinkers Hole (boat without sails up in the shiny water on the left of the pic) we decided to go ashore to look out of the lighthouse signal station.
We pulled the dingy up the beach (bottom right in pic) right to the top but there wasn't anything to tie it to so just left it.
On getting back to the dinghy it was floating about 20yds off where we left it, the beach was completely covered, right up to the grass.
By the time I had stripped to my pants it was further off.
I swam after it pell mell trying to catch it before it got too far.
By the time I was half way out of the inlet it was just passing the rocks at the end so I started wondering how much it was going to cost me to replace the tender and outboard and weather it was worth killing my self chasing the thing.
When I got to the rocks at the end of the inlet I was done in and the dingy was away, lost as far as I was concerned.
I got out onto the rocks to recover and think about what to do next.
We hadn't seen any traffic all day but just as I got to the top of the rocks two kayakers were just there, "is that your dingy"?
What a relief, they got it back before it disappeared into the sound of Iona.
Click to expand...

Done this as well.
 
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