Is Scuttlebutt the world's best yacht club?

[Twister_Ken]

Is Scuttlebutt the world\'s best yacht club?

Discuss.

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.writeforweb.com/twister1>Let's Twist Again</A>

 

[StellaGirl]

Re: Is Scuttlebutt the world\'s best yacht club?

I certainly think its the cheapest....

<hr width=100% size=1>Its 11.59am - lets open the beers...

 

[bob_tyler]

Re: Is Scuttlebutt the world\'s best yacht club?

Depends on Bar prices!

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[mighetto]

Re: Is Scuttlebutt the world\'s best yacht club?

Much Better than Anarchy. But that is based on but a couple of days. Probably
much much better.

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[BrendanS]

Re: Is Scuttlebutt the world\'s best yacht club?

Without doubt. The management are constantly away, and mice and meeses can play! Squeek!

<hr width=100% size=1>Me transmitte sursum, caledoni

 

[Metabarca]

Re: Is Scuttlebutt the world\'s best yacht club?

The virtual beer's a little on the thin side though...

<hr width=100% size=1>Adriatic links here: <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.comoy.com/saillinks.html>http://www.comoy.com/saillinks.html</A>

 

[qsiv]

Re: Is Scuttlebutt the world\'s best yacht club?

but I prefer the virtual hangover!

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[ongolo]

Re: Is Scuttlebutt the world\'s best yacht club?

Yes Ken, it might be the best, but that one link below exposes the worst in the world, that I amsure off.

You might not beleive that this is all true, but it is. For all those being bored at work, here is lots to read and also lots of legal info.

I hope no one of you will ever get involved in such a club, unfortunately it stil exists.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/corruptionexposed/

If you care enough to post a message, that will go eventually to the PM's Office and to the Prosecutor General who is currently looking into the matter.

sorry I spoil your day.

regards ongolo

PS. Please remember I am not english speaking.


<hr width=100% size=1>Nothing shall surprise me again, not even when my male dog billy should become a lesbien tomorrow

 

[iangrant]

Re: Is Scuttlebutt the world\'s best yacht club?

I'd like to pass a motion ... and after that, we should vote in a cruising committee:

As a suggestion:

Twister Ken – Commodore. (and master of waterborne hitch hiking)
Bignick – Catering and hiking officer,
Tome – head steward – in charge of local drink strength evaluation.
Jimi – Coast Guard liaison officer, (reporting phantom objects in the wrong position)
Wild Honey – Navigation officer – responsible for pilotage

Now must be the time to formalize our club and bring some control to the proceedings.


Ian


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[Twister_Ken]

Consider...

...No joining fee
No Annual Subscription
No Blue Ensign
No commodores, vice commodores, committee captains
No uniforms
No steward to pay (Hollamby does it for free)
No working parties to clear the dinghy park, or paint the changing rooms
World-wide membership
Open 24 x 365
Only members with tongues in cheeks, and thick skins survive more than a few visits
No need to own a boat
McGrotty 26 owners are not admitted

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.writeforweb.com/twister1>Let's Twist Again</A>

 

[Cobra]

Errr Ken...

...isn't this just a wee bit 'old hat'???

I seem to recall the time that such a venture was laughed at over here...much mocking of chintz curtains etc.

But hey! I suppose what goes around comes around...next you will be nicking the cosy armchair from the fireside at Mazza's that JJ used to nod off to sleep in!!

<hr width=100% size=1>When God invented time he didn't give me enough of it. ND!

 

[Evadne]

Re: Consider...

I'd suggest members should not:
Ask or answer questions about the ColRegs, VAT, hunting... on second thoughts the list is endless, scrub that one.
Pontificate on the effectiveness of Lanolin on the prop.
Complain about dinghies in the fairway.
Insult a boat you have never sailed yourself (owners are fair game tho').
Compliment Jimi's milliner.



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[tcm]

Re: Gosh, TK

you must have REALLY REALLY enjoyed that trip back from chrbrg eh?

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[Ohdrat]

Re: Is Scuttlebutt the world\'s best yacht club?

This is all very well but were's the representation for Scotland eh?

Would suggest that Claymore is asked to be Master of Cauliflower Rituals..

Donald Beaton for Minch Meets..

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[iangrant]

Re: Is Scuttlebutt the world\'s best yacht club?

Oh we cqan't have any scots or northerners lowering the tone of the place..

Ian

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[BlueSkyNick]

Re: Is Scuttlebutt the world\'s best yacht club?

The beer might not be up to much, but at least you can just buy for yourself instead of getting hit for a big round.

ANd there is no chucking out time, either!

<hr width=100% size=1>Ban all debates on hunting, shooting and fishing.

 

[ShipsWoofy]

Re: Is Scuttlebutt the world\'s best yacht club?

oh gawd, a committee, once we have a committee everything will go wrong. They will have to justify themselves by bringing in rules and regulations.

On a serious note I keep toying with actually joining a real sailing club, my local one has it's own internet forum, not widely used but it can be read in the public domain.

Every time I feel the urge to hand over £200 for the two of us, I read the forum winging about kids in the club at 2131 and people smoking in the smoking area which non smokers have to walk past and it goes on, my £200 is safely left in my bank account. The club I want to join is in a different harbour, typical.

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.topcatsail.co.uk>Woof</A>

 

[ghostwriter]

JJ\'s chair at Mazza\'s

err big C. ... you seem to forget that last time JJ dozed off in the chair, we wanted to play a prank on him by glueing him to the chair using that sticky Pattex stuff, but whatever happened next was not foreseen, not wanted and the consequences for the good man as well as you proved to be far reaching.

So if you think somebody nicked that chair you should try to remember what happened next. I know, I know, you were so far gone at the time, what with all that champers, red plonk, Mazza's Merlot and Mount Gay, but if you think back really hard you might remember that he was dozing off in his normal way (sitting, or rather hanging there with his normal cocktail at hand gently dozing off dreaming of hula hula ladies at full swing , remember that cocktail ? half glass of Stroh rum, the 80 degrees variety, an eggyoke and a spoon of Tollesbury mud ), we gently lifted one leg, glued it , the other leg , glued it, and for good measure we spouted a big dollop of the sticky stuff between his crotch and the seat. Remember ?? it was the usual thing, the dirty carpet, all those bottles in the corner , that black cat creeping around looking for half empty glasses,the chintz curtains that used to be the envy of the Buttlescutters , the big candles... remember ?

Next you might recall that we went on with that game of strip poker where Yvonne was holding the rope as always, Nige was soon in his nickers because of miscalculation, but finally it was Mazza who was the first to go all the way... I know you have received a big mental shock at that moment, so maybe you are still suffering from a freudian blockage , but as you know , the real freudian way to solve such situations is to re-live the situation, so hang in here : Mazza tried to strip the last garment by doing some kind of faked pole dancer's act, you were nearly rolling over the floor with laughter which caused her to get somewhat edgy, so she wanted to flip her foot gently against your nose (remember, she was standing on top of the table doing her act), but she just did not know you were wobbling your chair on 2 feet, so when her foot ticked your nose, you got out of balance, you toppled over , right on top of that black cat which uttered the most amazing screech , the cat jumped on top of your face digging its claws deep into your skin, which caused you first to holler like hell , next to start a bout of unrepeatable swearing, you tore the cat from your face (tearing a load of your own skin along with it, sorry if you look so strange these days , there's nothing some cosmetic surgery can't help, and if they can't, just order them to stick some tits in place, we'll like you even more) and threw the cat away from you.... the cat landed right in JJ's crotch immediately digging its claws wherever possible and I leave you to imagine just where those claws ended up ? as luck (?) would have it, the glue was not totally hardened , so the cat also got sort of glued together with JJ who by now was of course waking from his hula hula dream just to end in a downright nightmare.
So JJ woke up from the nicest of dreams to find himself (a) glued to a chair (b) with a cat clawing its way down his parental parts ... not amazing the way he jumped up, but what a pity he forgot about his cocktail, as the whole contents of his glass landed on the cat , that got him really angry as you know that JJ's motto is "he who spilleth one drop of cocktail should be flogged at will" , finding himself glued and feeling the cats claws digging in even deeper and due to the cocktail shock he went waving wildly in a vein attempt to get hold of something....well, not actually did he get hold of something, but he did topple one of those big candles , which fell sort of on top of the cat, the cat being wet from the alcohol uttered an amazing sound : woooffff as if to remind us that cats and dogs in the same room are a surefire (scuse the word) recipe for disaster..... remember the blaze right in JJ's centre of gravity !! remember him hopping around in his chair setting the chintze curtains ablaze, remember you jumping for life, ending on top of those bottles in the corner which of course broke to 1001 pieces , cutting themselves into you, what a shame you lost those parts there, but let's remain positive.... maybe the world is a better place without more little C's crawling around.

luckily, there was still this one little boy courageously pissing the fire down the way they are used to do in his bananic capital , that provided the escape, and just try to remember mystified those faces when the fire brigade finally found their way to our shack through the eastcoastal swamps .... a burning shack, no way to stop the fire totally for all the bottles of alcohol still exploding all over the place, Yvonne in her leathers, Mazza...well, Mazza and that fireman, but that's another story, Nige in his nickers, you errr... sort of 90% still there, the cat totally scorchio , and JJ ... well, let's be polite and just refer to the latest pictures I saw of the man in a chair, still sort of hanging, but with that paranoic look for black cats , no more cocktails for him , due to the paranoia no more dozing off to the hula hula girls hence the big walls under his eyes

and the chair you may ask ? don't you remember it was auctioned as "the chair where JJ's got his b*lls burned" and the 1.5 £ that was anonymously offered for it (rumours have it QE2 was the one but that's strictly rumours) was donated to the RYA with a request to investigate, lay down and promote some ruling for "the safety and fire planning for ramshackle virtual clubhouses located on muddy flatlands"

nicked ? no sirree

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[ShipsWoofy]

Re: JJ\'s chair at Mazza\'s

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Brilliant.

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.topcatsail.co.uk>Woof</A>

 

[Cobra]

Re: JJ\'s chair at Mazza\'s

You foolish bananian!!!!!

<hr width=100% size=1>When God invented time he didn't give me enough of it. ND!