Found a damaged flare - police refuse to deal

[skyflyer]

Walking down the road (I am 100 miles from the nearest coastline) I spotted a familiar object on the pavement. It was a Paines flare, that had obviously been run over by a car or two before being flipped or kicked onto the pavement and was evidently unused, although showing signs of damage

Being a public-spirited chap I gingerly carried it to my front garden , lest some idiot child found it and decided to pull the cord and see what happened!

I called the police who predictably adopted the all too familiar sloping shoulder syndrome and said call the coastcguard who predictably said they weren't coming down from Holyhead to collect it and if it was damaged I shouldn't bring it (Not that I intended to) and that it was up to the Police.

I have called the Police back and relayed this information along with the fact that the CG said it was a matter for EOD! The Police are having a long think about it. I don't expect to hear back anytime soon.

So although this flare is nothing to do with me and although I did the 'decent thing' and removed it from public danger, I now seem to be landed with disposing of it at my expense.

Does the team think that it would be not unreasonable, given the turn of events, to strap it to my work mate in the garden, attach a long string, retire to a safe distance and fire it. I think in the unlikely event that someone reports it and a helicopter arrives to winch me from the garden, I would have a reasonable defence.

Or shall I just chuck it in the bin?

 

[macd]

Or shall I just chuck it in the bin?

No. Chuck it in the police's bin. Pillocks.

 

[fireball]

Does the team think that it would be not unreasonable, given the turn of events, to strap it to my work mate in the garden, attach a long string, retire to a safe distance and fire it.

I dunno - how easy is it to get your colleague to visit to start with? Wouldn't it be more effective to strap him and it to a revolving chair?

 

[awol]

Hand-held or parachute?

 

[skyflyer]

hand held - nobody will see it if i fire it; the only problem is... what to do if it doesn't ignite...

 

[Appledore]

If the authorities don't want to know, I'd put it in a tin container of some sort, and put it in a safe place until Bonfire Night! Then chuck it in the bonfire, where it will just ignite and do no harm. But perhaps not if you live in a built-up area surrounded by gardens!

 

[emsworthy]

I'd imagine your colleague would be relieved for one!

Unless of course you meant a Black and Decker Workmate?

 

[fireball]

I'd imagine your colleague would be relieved for one!

Unless of course you meant a Black and Decker Workmate?

Oi ... I already made that joke and nobody laughed ....

 

[Seajet]

I suspect chucking it on a bonfire is the worst thing you could possibly do, even with a hand flare.

Tricky one, the CG and police are now alerted to your identity so you can't leave it on their doorstep.

Assuming you sail, maybe tie a rock to it and drop over the side at the deepest bit possible ?

Not very ' green ' but you've tried to do the decent thing.

 

[Cardo]

Tell the old bill you're leaving it on the pavement outside your house, as you don't want it going off and burning down your house. Warn them if a child does happen to pick it up and blows their arm off, it's down to them. I'd imagine they should be round pretty quick.

 

[Carmel2]

Try your local fire brigade.

 

[skyflyer]

Tell the old bill you're leaving it on the pavement outside your house, as you don't want it going off and burning down your house. Warn them if a child does happen to pick it up and blows their arm off, it's down to them. I'd imagine they should be round pretty quick.

along the lines of, "as you can't help me I have put it back where I found it" - sounds like a plan

 

[skyflyer]

fire brigade were contacted by police - not interested

I do sail but am not going to put this in my car for the 250 mile trip to the boat, just in case it is damaged in a significant way and does go off!

 

[bbg]

I had a dozen or two handhelds that I let off one night (with leather gloves and a metal bucket full of water for when they were finished).

One didn't fire, and we planned to have a bonfire the next day. I opened the top and saw the active ingredient. The trigger had failed to ignite it. Very carefully I scratched some off the surface so it was a powder on top, then lit it with a match. It started burning and I threw it on the (as yet unlit) bonfire.

It didn't feel unsafe. That stuff doesn't explode - it burns.

 

[MoodySabre]

Take it to the police station and hand it in as lost property.

 

[PaulMcC]

Take it to the police station and hand it in as lost property.

I think your mistake was to take it home before calling the plod. I think I would have called either on my mobile from the side of the road, or moved it into a nearby safer place (a ditch or whatever) and then called from home. Once it's in your house it is effectively your responsibility/problem and there is no pressure on the police to fix it for you. While the flare is on the road it's their problem (particularly after you have told them about it).

 

[Langrick1]

Dig a hole and bury the damned thing

 

[Appledore]

I had a dozen or two handhelds that I let off one night (with leather gloves and a metal bucket full of water for when they were finished).

One didn't fire, and we planned to have a bonfire the next day. I opened the top and saw the active ingredient. The trigger had failed to ignite it. Very carefully I scratched some off the surface so it was a powder on top, then lit it with a match. It started burning and I threw it on the (as yet unlit) bonfire.

It didn't feel unsafe. That stuff doesn't explode - it burns.

I wasn't going to say, but seeing that you did...

I disposed of about a dozen handhelds last Bonfire night. They were all well out of date, one was well over 30 years old! Like you, had plenty of water to hand and a thick leather glove etc. The first one or two only fizzed, so they all went on the bonfire, one at a time, and mainly just fizzed, and extruding red or orange smoke. No bangs or pops! I have to say that my bonfire was in the middle of an acre field in the countryside.

There was no way I was going to transport them to the Coastguards, some 40 miles away. And I did consider weighting them and dropping them overboard on the way across the Channel, but that just didn't seem the correct thing to do.

Just happy that they've all gone now.

 

[prv]

along the lines of, "as you can't help me I have put it back where I found it" - sounds like a plan

"So you have just abandoned an explosive item in a public place, have you sir?"

Take it to the police station and hand it in as lost property.

They won't take it. The station near me has a pre-printed flyer confirming that they won't take them, and saying to contact the Coastguard. Who, as we've seen, will tell you to go to the Police.

I set off my old hand flares in the back garden.

Pete

 

[bbg]

Appledore - I am expecting to be "flamed" for how irresponsible I was, but as I say nothing felt unsafe. I guess a lot of things don't feel unsafe until they are, though!

It is funny - there are a lot of posts on this forum moaning about H&S and the nanny culture, but when it comes to flares one gets the impression they are nearly weapons of mass destruction with a hair-trigger!