Things not to do on a boat

[CodStewart]

These stories are giving me the chuckles.
I love it!
The engine stop!
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Oh yeah, I learned about cheap masking tape the hard way, too.

 

[CodStewart]

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[Noddy]

[ QUOTE ]
Currently in the middle of taking off every last little bit of hull paint on mine, from the previous owner, so we can repaint but, this time, properly!

I'm absolutely knackered. This is the third afternoon spent on the orbital sander, and I've got about halfway down one side!

If anyone knows of a better way to do the job on a GRP hull, please, please, please let me know!

[/ QUOTE ]

Lots of paint stripper and a pressure washer.

 

[ADLS]

Install a cup hook without first getting the woodwork tool box, electrical tool box, mechanical tool box, paint & varnish, ladder, torch, screw and nut/bolt trays, first aid kit out. Oh yes and put on the kettle, but that would mean turning on the water pump finding the tank empty, get the hose out fill the tank. Turn on the gas, light the burner, put the kettle on, get the cup out "can't find it cos it's not on the hook.??????????????????????

Sod it all, off to the pub. /forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

 

[Rivers & creeks]

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[fisherman]

Not me, but a friend had to replace pistons and rings on a Gardner engine. He decided (wrongly in my opinion) that it would be too difficult to remove it, but he did manage to drop the sump enough to allow him to crawl under the gearbox and lay in it while bolting up the big ends.

 

[Refueler]

Simple are funny ...

My father making tea ... stirs the teapot with plastic spoon !! Only half spoon emerges.

Day-sail with ex-wife .... run aground while showing off tacking skills. So up on foredeck - throw over anchor so when tide returns we don't dissappear ... OOOPP's - forgot to shackle on chain !

Decide to fit speed log thru-hull ..... boat alongside bank, LW so all dried out. Start drilling .... 2 mistakes. a) Hole cutter is fast blunting on GRP, b) battery on drill is fast dieing.
Luckily - I had picked a spot that was double skinned and I hadn't penetrated outer skin ! Left that job till boat on trailer later !!

Cruiser-Loo (marine version of Porta-Potti). 3 of us embark on trip round Solent for a week. So before setting of - I sort out loo with "Blue" and water in respective sections. We leave Langstone Harbour and start a brisk lively sail towards Cowes .... Dave's dad looks in cabin and sees water ... goes inside fingers in water ... tastes ... Ugh - that tastes 'orrid ....
Needless to say said Cruiser Loo was not used again.

Bought an Alacrity and it was like many boats - carrying year and years of antifoul. Heaven knows how many kilos it added. So of to shop ... Anti-fouling stripper and tools. Boats on trailer in yard. I slap on the stripper ... and start scraping. Isn't it a wonderful job. I must have applied loads of coats trying to get that crud of. Finally I think - OK - I'll wash off all remains of the stripper and clean her up ready to antifoul ... No bl***y water !! Mains is turned off ... there's my hull with stripper on and I have visions of gelcoat starting to lift ! So its quick with the car and drag it all home to the driveway ... where I scrub her down ... Afterwards pray that I caught it in time !

Interesting life we lead on boats !!

 

[misterg]

Let your mate make the first cuppa of the season 'cos you're busy...

By the time I'd finished what I was doing, he'd finished his tea without comment. Took one mouthful of mine and spat it straight out - it tasted of fairy liquid and old rubber.

Earlier I'd fitted a new engine cooling hose, and to get the hose over the pump inlet I had to repeatedly dip the end in a kettle full of boiling water, and between times, lubricate it with fairy liquid.

Same water for tea - Bleauch!

Andy

 

[MissFitz]

Listen to people who say, "If it won't move, hit it with a hammer...."

 

[oldharry]

Tell SWMBO:
a) It will only take an hour to fix it.
b) it wont cost more than ...
c) It will not be rough today

"Nearly finished - just go to tighten this.... oh blast!" /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

 

[Twister_Ken]

When replacing a serviced manual bilge pump, don't confuse the hoses for the suck and blow sides.

 

[PeterGibbs]

Brand new boat, proud owner (intoxicated with purchase!) approaches cliffy coast to drop new anchor using windlass. Releases anchor, presses "down control" chain rattles out, release button, chain keeps rolling out at inceasing speed....and weight, as I soon found!

Only by putting my hands and feet in dire jeopardy did I manage to stop total loss of gear - I had not engaged the clutch on the windlass - no clutch, no brake, no gear...AAAAH!
ie had not read instructions - bummer!

PWG

 

[atelford]

Forget to tie a knot on the end of the mainsail halyard that runs up the mast on first day after launching. Bye - bye halyard, hello entire season of using the topping lift.

 

[Richard10002]

Dont put loo roll down the bog!!!

Dont forget to flush the bog with vinegar/hydrocloric acid every now and then, (vinegar weekly?)

 

[Refueler]

Do you mean the actual cardboard roll or the paper ? My bog has paper through it no problem. But the cardboard roll ? That would really gum it up.

As to flushing with vinegar etc. - I'm lucky that most water that flushes mine is now FW or near enough.

 

[Anonymous]

[ QUOTE ]
As to flushing with vinegar etc. - I'm lucky that most water that flushes mine is now FW or near enough.

[/ QUOTE ]I don't think that necessarily helps if the water is hard. Pee breaks down and forms ammonia which precipitates out the scale. Here in the Med HCl is sold in supermarkets primarily to descale land toilets regularly. The Continental pipes are much smaller diameter than ours and need to be kept scale-free.

 

[Refueler]

You'll find that the scale is usually from salts in the water that combine with the pee to form that pipe clogging mess. Pee has the lovely ability to assist the drop-out of the salts. The acid you refer to is to break up the salts deposit. Any acid will do it in fact ... acetic is the common one used in kettle descaler etc. Even Coca Cola will do it.
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[trying]

Not my own tale thankfully..

A friend of mine decided to fit a new skin fitting for a bilge pump outlet and carefully calculated where to drill from inside the engine compartment only to find that once he had drilled through with the core drill, with his weight in that position in the boat his new hole was below the waterline! To compound the problem with his hand pressed firmly over this hole he could not reach outside the boat to push the skin fitting through the hole! /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Needless to say the next person on the scene, his wife, had more than a few comments to make. She was asked (politely i'm sure!) to go to the other side of the aft deck to bring the boat back over and stem the flow of water!

Obviously I didn't laugh at all when his wife recounted the tale!
Strange he didn't tell me himself?! /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif