Rafting etiquette

Like a few others, I very rarely walk bare foot on my boat due to stubbed toes so on other boats I always have shoes on. If told to raft by the harbour master I take it for granted about crossing the foredeck of other boats, but do ask permission if they are on board about going through the cockpit to rig shore lines. Some foredecks are so cluttered it is an osbstical course to get across and if you are the 7th boat out as one year in Weymouth the closest pub was a great relief!
 
It was pointed out to me that, when crossing a boat in a raft, especially when it has rained, by walking around via the bow rather than hugging the mast and going up and over you can reduce the subsequent cleaning effort for the owner. I took this to heart. However I’m surprised by the number of folks who do cross just in front of the mast. Apart from unnecessarily adding mucky footprints across the roof, there is the reduced privacy of potent fore-hatch gazing. Something to think about. It changed my habits.
 
Clearly in this thread opinion is about 50/50.
I think you need to go back and have a recount. From my reading the vast majority do not think you should demand people to remove their shoes.

you are of course entitled to run your boat as you wish and I’ve been on plenty of boats in the Med where it was normal to remove shoes, but if you don’t want people walking on your decks with dirty shoes perhaps it would be better to not raft up as the inner boat. That or at least provide a mat and carpet tiles across the deck.
 
I fully respect anyone's right to keep a possession in good order. However, placing something beautiful/ornate/delicate in the sea and wanting to keep it perfect is a recipe for stress for everyone concerned, surely.

A boat can be beautiful and I'm sure we can all understand the desire to keep it looking that way, but it's bobbing about in the sea. A lot of people take to the sea for freedom, not the pursuit of Royal Yacht Squadron standards, therefore if you choose to raft you have to expect to rub up against (quite literally, of course) people who have different priorities in life.

In my humble opinion the request to take shoes off is unreasonable not because I believe the owner should have the "lower standards" of a less well kept vessel, but because the sea demands it. You can't beat the sea, try as you might, so just enjoy some freedom and let others do the same.
 
I think that asking people to remove their shoes is OTT and is inevitably going to fail. Putting a mat either side and asking people to wipe their feet is reasonable and has a fair chance of succeeding.

Alternatively, make sure you're the outmost boat in the raft by moving each time someone wants to raft to you. A lot of work but if you're that precious about your decks....
 
As someone has said already, just put some carpet squares down and ask that they use that route to cross your deck. Not an unreasonable request although I know there will always be the individual who wants to be an arse. 99% of people will comply.
 
... perhaps it would be better to not raft up as the inner boat.
If you are not rafting up at the same time then being the inner boat in a raft is not an option. If the Harbour Master tells someone to raft outside of you then you really have no say in the matter.
 
Seems to me if concerned it’s perfectly possible to book a berth where rafting will not occur or pick up a buoy ? My view is that if you choose into venture into Yarmouth scrum or Weymouth quay it’s a risk you take. I totally agree with shorelines unless say you are a sailfish mooring to a hall berg 42 for example. If we raft to someone we will always ask to cross, rig lines , not grab the lifelines ( you have to tell the french this particularly) and carry the dog . Often the local harbour master if you have a dog will be more helpful. You should also try to find if arriving a side gate boat. Their is nothing worse than berthing next to a slabsided Sealine or large cat . A mat would be useful though but seeking shoe removal seems a step too far. The only damage I found from rafters is to the fender step but Flexiteak decks are perhaps more forgiving than real seemco teak. I’m surprised the OP isn’t also concerned about grease on the teak decks which is a real issue from the croissants .
 
I am all for being considerate and respectful, and always would try to be sympathetic to owners' requests, but I suspect that the OP's expectations are unrealistic.

If you are on the inside of a raft, people will be coming over your boat. As someone suggested, get yourself some carpet tiles or find somewhere else to stay.

I would not ask permission to cross a boat rafted inshore of me (I don't need their 'permission', and what if they refused?), but I would say e.g. 'excuse me' and smile if they were around.

I would always put out shorelines if possible, but I have been in a few situations where the distance or angles involved made this impractical or completely ineffective, and so I've tried to work out some arrangement to the satisfaction of the neighbours. (My boat is usually much smaller than the others rafted, so sometimes shorelines would be sawing away at the hull of the next boat inshore.) But if 35 knots were forecast I wouldn't be rafting up at all if I could help it!

I don't like people hanging on my lifelines or stanchions, because they're vulnerable, but unless they're putting a lot of weight on them I wouldn't bother to say anything. It's just part of life. (I've never understood the problem some people have with people hanging onto their shrouds. If the shrouds can't take that, then you've got bigger problems.)

I would almost always cross a rafted boat by the foredeck, unless the owner had requested a different route be taken, though a few times I have been stymied by the foredeck being blocked by an inflatable dinghy, or there being nowhere but aft one could cross from one boat to another.

I did have a conundrum stormbound for a few days in St. Peter Port a few years back, in that crossing the foredeck of the small boat inshore of us gave a bird's eye view through the forehatch of the couple on the boat in their bed! Next time we crossed we went round the cockpit, to give them privacy, only to discover they were now up and looking out of the companionway.
Perhaps a “ boarding now “ bell on the shroud for those frisky frogs ?
 
If you are not rafting up at the same time then being the inner boat in a raft is not an option. If the Harbour Master tells someone to raft outside of you then you really have no say in the matter.
If you’re so worried about getting walked on, you allow the other boat to come inside you. (You might have to spin a story about leaving early and as I don’t agree with lying, you might be forced into keeping some unsocial sailing hours.)
Life is full of choices...
 
It seems the sea is full of dirty buggers , sooner i get to the med and some decent decorum the better , for me and my well kept boat ,?
 
We certainly have the right to expect considerate behaviour when people cross the deck. No swinging on guardrails or rigging, no clumping, only cross the foredeck and no peering down forehatches. But I wouldn't want the responsibility if someone stubbed or broke a toe or slipped because of sweaty socks because I had insisted on them not wearing shoes.
If your deck can't stand being stepped on I think it's not fit for purpose.
 
It seems the sea is full of dirty buggers , sooner i get to the med and some decent decorum the better , for me and my well kept boat ,?
The few times I’ve rafted up in the Med, it’s been flotilla boats on the outside. Good luck with getting them to behave with anything resembling what you might regard as decorum. I remember with mixed emotions of amusement and rage the teenaged lovers spat we listened to early one morning. It went on for some time and I was on the point of getting up and telling them to take their tiff elsewhere when someone else beat me to it.....
That said, the flotilla leaders work in getting the mooring lines sorted is always excellent, they’re unfailingly polite and helpful. I’m amazed at how well they cope with their customers lack of experience.
 
Fascinating thread. The one thing which comes out of it for me is never, ever buy a boat with a teak deck. In the 80's at SIBS I drooled over them, now I realise what a stupid abomination they are. All marketing and no substance.

Every year at this time 3,000 starlings eat all the nearby blackberries and turn all the decks in this marina purple. Out with a pressure washer, gone. GRP decks see.
 
We were in the same position as the OP 20 years ago, with a new boat and teak decks. We had a baptism of fire on our delivery cruise when we stopped in Heligoland and ended up the inside of about eight boats, each one larger than the next. We were stuck there for nearly a week of gales and were effectively on a lee shore. Crowds of Germans crossed over us and the deck and toe-rails became somewhat marked, mainly by the young in trainers. The saving grace was our lovely neighbours who even lent us additional fenders.

The point is, that in time any marks will disappear and you needn't worry overmuch. I have stuck 'no stiletto/boots' stickers at the foot of the mast, but mainly so that I have something to point to if they are really careless. I think that he will realise that taking shoes off is an over-reaction.

So far as I am concerned, my boat does not become public property just because we have been rafted. Outsiders have a reasonable right to access the shore, but with the responsibility of doing so in a decent manner. If I am rafting outside another boat, I feel that I am obliged to do so in such a way that they are not unduly inconvenienced or disturbed. This means approaching in a seamanlike manner (not down-tide!), mooring with proper full-length springs and shore lines if indicated, crossing their decks as quietly as possible in boat shoes or soft soles, and not doing so after a reasonable hour in the evening. Because so few sailors seem to share my view, we avoid rafting spots like the plague.
 
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