Perfect Christmas Story

[paulineb]

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (Aston Martin Vantage) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus, with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon, they were driving along, delivering the toys.

Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. Who was the survivor? (Scroll down for the answer.








The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.

****Women stop reading here, this is the end of the joke. Men keep scrolling. ****








So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident. By the way, if you're a woman and you're reading this, this illustrates another point: women never listen, either. You were told to stop scrolling (this means YOU Falcon71 ;-)

Pxx

 

[claymore]

Situation Perfect

I cannot believe that you are risking a prezzieless Christmas with this nonsense.
F.Christmas is a man - he does exist - he comes once a year and fills your stockings - some man.

 

[david_e]

bunged up!

Excellent jokes both of you )! Has reduced my storm force 10 flu bug to a gale 8 cold, feeling better already!

 

[byron]

What you mean there's no Father Christmas.... HAH! If he doesn't exist how come there's pictures and parodies everywhere eh! answer me that.

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[BarryD]

Re: Situation Perfect

He comes but once a year - poor Mrs Christmas, is that what the elves are for?

 

[ChrisP]

If she was the perfect woman. She would have finished the shopping before the man got home from the pub and he would have sat down to the perfect meal then after an evening in front of the roaring log fire with a large bottle of port and selection of premium cheeses. They would have retired to the bedroom where she would have entertained her man until the small hours.
Thus there would have been no need to go out in adverse conditions in a car that is known for its instability in the snow.
So as usual we see another avoidable accident that is wholy due to the sub-standard abilities of the female species.

 

[Guest]

Re: Car error

No problem with the perfect men or women. Unfortunately the car (an Aston Martin) known as a vantage is in fact a cut-down version of the Disadvantage: the name derives from a deathtrap codenamed Die, a Sad Van, a model T, and all having great Age.

 

[Falcon71]

So this perfect woman was in fact in her car alone, so she didn't need to stop for Father Xmas, as he doesn't exist, and so didn't actually crash, and managed to get home perfectly safely using her perfect driving skills.

 

[ChrisP]

obviously this woman is about a common as the unicorn.

Do you know how to blind a woman?

Put a windscreen in front of her.

 

[Guest]

Re: unfair

Men avoid all intimate contact where at all possible. Women are much more in touch with their feelings. So, whereas men are simply pass each other by and simply have no idea of anyone's personal details, women know intimate details of those that they meet, such as their full name, and their birthday, for example. Also their registration number, insurance company....

 

[paulineb]

Re: Car error

Please don't disillusion me, this is the car I aspire to (that and the new Bugatior a Maserati). If it is indeed yuk, please let me find out for myself, as I have done thus far with the men in my life.

Pxx