randall
New Member
... Uh, that's not really a scant sense of geography, I was just thinking Panama, then NZ (the 'wrong way'around.) You'll have plenty of heavy weather experience already before you get to the Atlantic.
Partner dragged aboard, needing advice!
- Thread starter DraggedAboard
- Start date
daveyjones
Well-Known Member
Your problems, if any , won't arise because of the comfiness of your sleeping arrangements or shower, but rather how you will get on, cooped up on a small boat for a year with one other person, even if he is your boyfriend. I am sure you are hopelessly in love etc., but exactly how much time have the two of you spent together without other company? Have you seen how he is under stress,say in a violent storm or even wors, a prolonged calm? You wouldn't want to set out with Jack Aubrey, only to have him turn into Captain Bligh! Your emphasis on what are really petty details of the boat, and your mention of a few months in the Med (gin and tonics on deck, no tide, nice harbours on Greek Islands etc) are somewhat worrying. You need to be considering more serious potential problems. If you have to ask about using a head (toilet to you) at sea, you don't appear to have had much experience. What exactly did you do in the Med? It might be worth getting some sea miles under your belt, with or without boyfriend, before committing yourself. Even a trip across the North Sea as crew (with or without boyfriend), for example, would give you a better feel for it, and at least you'll have to go to the head at least once during that trip!
tcm
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Carpe Diem, Davyjones?...
sensible advice, but reading between the lines ...would you do anything a bit daft, half-planned, as the originator of the thread freely admits to doing (or planning to do) ? Life's too short to shorten all the odds, and not many free spirits will hang around long enough to be checked out, and checked again. My wildest guesses say that you work (or worked) for someone else, and haven't ever done such a trip - tell me i'm wrong!
sensible advice, but reading between the lines ...would you do anything a bit daft, half-planned, as the originator of the thread freely admits to doing (or planning to do) ? Life's too short to shorten all the odds, and not many free spirits will hang around long enough to be checked out, and checked again. My wildest guesses say that you work (or worked) for someone else, and haven't ever done such a trip - tell me i'm wrong!
daveyjones
Well-Known Member
Re: Carpe Diem, Davyjones?...
Your guess is certainly wild, and I'm puzzled as to your grounds for making it. Do I sound so cautious? In fact I have always worked for myself, if that is relevant to this thread, in an occupation that is at best precarious. I have never sailed to New Zealand, but I have seen several relationships end as a result of expectations not being realised after a sailing trip. Try the Canary Islands, where couples arrive after their first leg of the circumnavigation, only to realise they can't stand the sight of each other. I've seen that a number of times. I find your assumption of my caution amusing, given that I have just begun, at the age of 51, construction of a 40 ft yacht, which hopefully will be finished by the time I am 60. This would argue a certain confidence in the future, don't you think? But perhaps you yourself would, to demonstrate your philosophy of carpe diem, start such a project without buying the plans first, or learning the skills that you need before starting the work? I merely suggest that Dragged Aboard stands more chance of a successful trip if she gets a bit if experience first. Some things, like the use of the sextant, are best left until at least 4 days out from Falmouth, while others, such as whether one can actually stand being cooped up in a small yacht for months, are possibly best determined beforehand. It would be a shame to jeopardise a beautiful love affair for lack of a bot of forethought don't you think?
I look forwrd to hearing concrete examples of your own carefree attitude to life, especially, since you raise the question, what it is that you do for a living.
Your guess is certainly wild, and I'm puzzled as to your grounds for making it. Do I sound so cautious? In fact I have always worked for myself, if that is relevant to this thread, in an occupation that is at best precarious. I have never sailed to New Zealand, but I have seen several relationships end as a result of expectations not being realised after a sailing trip. Try the Canary Islands, where couples arrive after their first leg of the circumnavigation, only to realise they can't stand the sight of each other. I've seen that a number of times. I find your assumption of my caution amusing, given that I have just begun, at the age of 51, construction of a 40 ft yacht, which hopefully will be finished by the time I am 60. This would argue a certain confidence in the future, don't you think? But perhaps you yourself would, to demonstrate your philosophy of carpe diem, start such a project without buying the plans first, or learning the skills that you need before starting the work? I merely suggest that Dragged Aboard stands more chance of a successful trip if she gets a bit if experience first. Some things, like the use of the sextant, are best left until at least 4 days out from Falmouth, while others, such as whether one can actually stand being cooped up in a small yacht for months, are possibly best determined beforehand. It would be a shame to jeopardise a beautiful love affair for lack of a bot of forethought don't you think?
I look forwrd to hearing concrete examples of your own carefree attitude to life, especially, since you raise the question, what it is that you do for a living.
pragmatist
Well-Known Member
Personal attacks - even here now
Both of you have worthwhile points - and should surely be able to make them without resorting to personal attacks.
Surely everyone who sails off has chosen their own position on how much planning and experience they wish to do before the big day. But I don't see that what tcm does for a living has anything to do with it - he's just voicing his opinion.
I am very disappointed to see that not only have the Lounge and Scuttlebutt been affected by this but now the Liveaboard forum too - we've had the ship's pussy being personally abusive on another thread. I think if this kind of thing is not moderated the entire set of fora will lose its audience - I know personally of some long-standing forum members who have vowed not to frequent them again because of this behaviour.
We're not talking here about whether someone has the technical expertise to offer guidance - and perhaps therefore needs to prove that they know what they're talking about. So surely you're both entitled to your opinions and readers can draw their own conclusions - or should we all submit a c.v. before post an opinion ?
Disgusted, Tunbridge Wells
Both of you have worthwhile points - and should surely be able to make them without resorting to personal attacks.
Surely everyone who sails off has chosen their own position on how much planning and experience they wish to do before the big day. But I don't see that what tcm does for a living has anything to do with it - he's just voicing his opinion.
I am very disappointed to see that not only have the Lounge and Scuttlebutt been affected by this but now the Liveaboard forum too - we've had the ship's pussy being personally abusive on another thread. I think if this kind of thing is not moderated the entire set of fora will lose its audience - I know personally of some long-standing forum members who have vowed not to frequent them again because of this behaviour.
We're not talking here about whether someone has the technical expertise to offer guidance - and perhaps therefore needs to prove that they know what they're talking about. So surely you're both entitled to your opinions and readers can draw their own conclusions - or should we all submit a c.v. before post an opinion ?
Disgusted, Tunbridge Wells
daveyjones
Well-Known Member
Re: Personal attacks - even here now
I agree with you, so perhaps you can explain TCM's remark about me working for someone else? After much thought, I can only assume he is suggesting I am somehow over-cautious, or incapable of independent thought. I am genuinely puzzled by what seems an inconsquential remark, and I hope he comes back to expand and explain it. I think you over -react by saying we are engaging in personal attacks - perhaps you could quote that part of my reply which you think combative? Since the question of one's occupation had been introduced, I did the contributor the courtesy of addressing it. Anyway we are all grown-ups here, and there is a saying which goes "you add as much to the suffering of the world when you take offense, as when you give offense" .
To get back to the original question, I am surprised that I appear to be the only one to express a note of caution about the projected voyage. Amid all the "how I envy you" and the "go for it!" type remarks, I would have expected a little more practical advice, which after all is not meant to dissuade, but rather to help the trip go successfully.
I agree with you, so perhaps you can explain TCM's remark about me working for someone else? After much thought, I can only assume he is suggesting I am somehow over-cautious, or incapable of independent thought. I am genuinely puzzled by what seems an inconsquential remark, and I hope he comes back to expand and explain it. I think you over -react by saying we are engaging in personal attacks - perhaps you could quote that part of my reply which you think combative? Since the question of one's occupation had been introduced, I did the contributor the courtesy of addressing it. Anyway we are all grown-ups here, and there is a saying which goes "you add as much to the suffering of the world when you take offense, as when you give offense" .
To get back to the original question, I am surprised that I appear to be the only one to express a note of caution about the projected voyage. Amid all the "how I envy you" and the "go for it!" type remarks, I would have expected a little more practical advice, which after all is not meant to dissuade, but rather to help the trip go successfully.
tcm
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apology to daveyjones
I agree that pragamatist is being a bit ott in refering to eitgher of our remarks as being "personal attacks", and thanks for taking the remark in the (light) spirit in the which it was intended.
I suppose i enjoyed the origional poster's hidden glee at being "dragged aboard" even the extent that she (i think?!) used that handle on the forum. Make no mistake, she's smitten in more senses than one - so i think the idea of advising caution, altho well meaning and undoubtedly well founded is praps too late. And i spose its not actually the end of the world if people get off the boat at gran canaria - at least they tried, and KNOW they can't stand each other? Or can't stand boating?
I am sorry for sidewaysly (is this a word?) accusing you of being an old stick in the mud, and on refelection your more cautious voice gave probably about the right balance. I dare say that if everyone else had said ooh, careful - that you'd have argued the other way, to live life to the full etc etc? oops - there i go again - I will be a bit more careful about the amateur pschology in future!
BTW, i think the occassional disagreement or spat-ette is fine for the forums, and no problem at all! Provide it stays largely to the subject as we did - in this case the wisdom or otherwise of chucking it in and sailing off. It wd be dull indeed if everyone agreed all the time.
Oh, and er i am well known for fairly wild if not utterly carefree (marrid, 2 kids, see) attitude to life incl buying ridiculous daft boat, going on lunatic trips in said boat, and lots of other stuff. And of course i don't work for anyone else as i am far too rude to get past any interview, qv...
Thanks again. And sorry again.
I agree that pragamatist is being a bit ott in refering to eitgher of our remarks as being "personal attacks", and thanks for taking the remark in the (light) spirit in the which it was intended.
I suppose i enjoyed the origional poster's hidden glee at being "dragged aboard" even the extent that she (i think?!) used that handle on the forum. Make no mistake, she's smitten in more senses than one - so i think the idea of advising caution, altho well meaning and undoubtedly well founded is praps too late. And i spose its not actually the end of the world if people get off the boat at gran canaria - at least they tried, and KNOW they can't stand each other? Or can't stand boating?
I am sorry for sidewaysly (is this a word?) accusing you of being an old stick in the mud, and on refelection your more cautious voice gave probably about the right balance. I dare say that if everyone else had said ooh, careful - that you'd have argued the other way, to live life to the full etc etc? oops - there i go again - I will be a bit more careful about the amateur pschology in future!
BTW, i think the occassional disagreement or spat-ette is fine for the forums, and no problem at all! Provide it stays largely to the subject as we did - in this case the wisdom or otherwise of chucking it in and sailing off. It wd be dull indeed if everyone agreed all the time.
Oh, and er i am well known for fairly wild if not utterly carefree (marrid, 2 kids, see) attitude to life incl buying ridiculous daft boat, going on lunatic trips in said boat, and lots of other stuff. And of course i don't work for anyone else as i am far too rude to get past any interview, qv...
Thanks again. And sorry again.
tcm
...
Confusion over crew selection
Rightyho, so you haven't been on a boat, you can't cook, and aren't much kop with technical stuff. No offence, but ...I wonder why ON EARTH he is taking you along eh? I just can't understand it!
Rightyho, so you haven't been on a boat, you can't cook, and aren't much kop with technical stuff. No offence, but ...I wonder why ON EARTH he is taking you along eh? I just can't understand it!
daveyjones
Well-Known Member
Re: Confusion over crew selection
Maybe she has other talents!
Maybe she has other talents!
tcm
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Re: aha!
of course. Astral navigation, yes?
of course. Astral navigation, yes?
daveyjones
Well-Known Member
Re: aha!
In the sense of being taken to heaven?
In the sense of being taken to heaven?
Olly
Well-Known Member
Re: aha!
You two never heard of love then?
Men do do it sometimes you know (and mean it as opposed to just say it to get laid!) I once heard of a bloke, who knew this guy, who said his brother's friends uncle had fallen in love..... with a girl would you believe!
You two never heard of love then?
Men do do it sometimes you know (and mean it as opposed to just say it to get laid!) I once heard of a bloke, who knew this guy, who said his brother's friends uncle had fallen in love..... with a girl would you believe!
Olly
Well-Known Member
Hi Dragged Aboard, go for it! Think ahead, get the advice, prepare well and keep safe but just GO!
You have two very special opportunities, a world cruise and a new love - grab them both with both hands. Live it to the full. Its an old line but it's true 'you only get one life'. As you already know some of life is fantastic, some awsome, some tedious and some absolute hell - your cruise, and your love affair, will be just the same, it's just the proportions of each that will be different and how you manage them is up to you.
I have such a clear memory of standing on the deck of a 50ft, gleaming white, teak decked yacht in Fort Lauderdale when I was a mere slip of a girl (23). The sun was setting and the air was warm and it was the most perfect evening. The skipper asked me to join the crew on a 4year circ nav. I was scared, I said no. never saw yacht or skipper again. And how I regret it. What a different person I would have been? A much better person I think. I never realised how much I had lost until I learned to sail last year (44) and now I can't wait for the chance to leave. If you can do that and have someone special with you whilst you do it. Wow!
Of course you are not me and visa versa but to just take a year out and try, well you have nothing to loose and everything to gain.
Good sailing and good luck.
You have two very special opportunities, a world cruise and a new love - grab them both with both hands. Live it to the full. Its an old line but it's true 'you only get one life'. As you already know some of life is fantastic, some awsome, some tedious and some absolute hell - your cruise, and your love affair, will be just the same, it's just the proportions of each that will be different and how you manage them is up to you.
I have such a clear memory of standing on the deck of a 50ft, gleaming white, teak decked yacht in Fort Lauderdale when I was a mere slip of a girl (23). The sun was setting and the air was warm and it was the most perfect evening. The skipper asked me to join the crew on a 4year circ nav. I was scared, I said no. never saw yacht or skipper again. And how I regret it. What a different person I would have been? A much better person I think. I never realised how much I had lost until I learned to sail last year (44) and now I can't wait for the chance to leave. If you can do that and have someone special with you whilst you do it. Wow!
Of course you are not me and visa versa but to just take a year out and try, well you have nothing to loose and everything to gain.
Good sailing and good luck.
AliM
Well-Known Member
Couldn't agree (with Olly) more!
Doing something new with someone you love is the best experience in the world, even if it doesn't work out permenently, you'll have some wonderful memories.
Rely on your own instincts to tell you when you are over-reaching yourself - if nothing else that will teach you where your limitations are.
Have a wonderful time - and tell us how it goes.
Doing something new with someone you love is the best experience in the world, even if it doesn't work out permenently, you'll have some wonderful memories.
Rely on your own instincts to tell you when you are over-reaching yourself - if nothing else that will teach you where your limitations are.
Have a wonderful time - and tell us how it goes.
stevesales
Well-Known Member
Anyway lets skate around all this romantic nonsense - soon goes out the window when there's no fresh water in the tank and SOMEONE blocks the Lavak.
What's all this nonsense about centre cockpit boats. Decent boats have large rear cockpits and so are safe for Atlantic crossings.
(Hides in large rear cockpit and waits for howls of protest)
What's all this nonsense about centre cockpit boats. Decent boats have large rear cockpits and so are safe for Atlantic crossings.
(Hides in large rear cockpit and waits for howls of protest)
tcm
...
OR
passionate arguments every single flippin night!....
passionate arguments every single flippin night!....
