Kangaroo Court in Session

[boatone]

As we all know, this Forum operates on a self regulatory basis with unwritten but well understood guidelines as to what we expect from members and their obligations to each other.
Unfortunately, I have to draw the assemblies attention to what appears to be a serious breach of our simple behaviour code and hereby convene the Kangaroo Court for the sole purpose of determining the issue and what, if any, penalties should be imposed. In the event that we agree a penalty should be appropriate, it may also be pertinent to agree a method of collection.
The charge:
You will all be aware of the long and tortuous saga relating to proposed boat purchase by one here who purports to be a mere student of the boatowning persuasion. At some time last year (in the year of our tolerance 2002) said individual did wager with another hereabouts. normally to be found ditch crawling in the county of Cambridgeshire but currently without vessel. the sum of one shilling that said individual would be the absolute owner of a boat of his own (with or without swmbo's blessing) no later than yuletide in the said year of our tolerance 2002.
This has not come to pass. Furthermore, said individual has thus far failed to honour his wager with another hereabouts and, indeed, has further aggravated his omission by posting various comments in recent threads here that suggest he does not take the issue seriously and may intend to endeavour to avoid settlement altogether.
The case is hereby set and we await the courts views on this matter.

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[tcm]

Fragrant Wife Defence

I am appearing before the court for the money. oops, I mean for the defence.

I too wagered the plaintiff a somewhat more vague sum, the details of which i cannot quite remeber, that he would purchase a boat before the first day of Christmas. And indeed the student of boating failed so to do.

Howeever, on the occassion of a gathering of several seagoing types in London, a lartge quantity of drinks and comestibles were presented to me on behalf of Learner, by his delightful and Fragrant Wife.

The Court wil be aware that having a Fragarnt Wife in the UK means that one can get away with just about anything, especially if the Claimant is nowhere near as fragrant and especially when he's a bit of an ugly git

Perhaps the court would like to compare pics of Cuteyholic and MrsL?

 

[byron]

Re: Fragrant Wife Defence

What's a fragrant wife? is that a polite way of saying she's smelly? If so I can offer advice. I douse Eileen twice a day in DETTOL this I find works splendidly and stops stray dogs following her.

http://www.alexander-advertising.co.uk

 

[paulineb]

Re: Fragrant Wife Defence

It derives from 'The Fragrant Mary' - Jeffery Archer's long suffering and extremely astute wife

Pxx

 

[boatone]

But surely......

.....you are not suggesting that one so clearly disadvantaged and downtrodden should be denied his reasonable dues simply because the defendant was fortunate enough to align himself with the beautiful people? If all plaintiffs were to be thrust aside in such a cavalier fashion, simply because they were appearance challenged, hardly a prominent figure in the nation would be able to seek reasonable redress. Sorry, cant agreee....beauty-ok, ugly-tough sh*t..... is hardly an acceptable framework on which to base our legal system........and anyway, the defendant can hardly be called beautiful AND he's welsh!!!!

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[duncan]

fragrant red herring

sounds like tcm is of th opinion that whilst he also had a wager with the same defendant it was of a rather more vague nature as to the value and he considers it paid in full.
As to the other one for the sum of 1 shilling, the existence of teh wager, the amount and terms do not seem to be in doubt; the failure of the defendant to fulfill the terms being proven then payment must be made in full as a matter of honour, unless some alternative satisfaction is agreed by the party owed - it os not a matter for the court to decide what this might be; although of course it can make suggestions to the agrieved party. In this case however the defendant would seem to be without the concept of honour and a duel seems inevitable...............
seconds will of course be required!

 

[wakeup]

Remedy or Community Service

I beleive the defendan has bought a berth in SoF therefore demonstrating clear and undisputable intent to buy a boat. He is sadly and example of what can go wrong when spread sheets and french boat surveyors come together. I would admonish him of all responsibility thus far and give him a right to remedy albeit within a given time frame of say 6 weeks.

If he doesn't remedy in that time then I would be in favour of some mobo community service to be decided by the forum e.g cleaning mobo forum bilges etc etc

Please note that I now.....


Can be arsed...

 

[hlb]

Re: fragrant red herring

Order. Order. I must put my foot down here with a firm hand. It is most deffinatly within the courts juristiction, to pass judgement and sentence. Else were sat here like a load of dummies. It may be viewed by some that keel hauling is by todays standards a bitover the top for a shilling. Buy then again and as Boatone convened the court. He should be the executioner. There for we should use his boat. Which is after all much smaller than the Ark Royal so not as stiff a sentence. Having said that. If we do it at 20 knots the effect will be improved some what!!

<font color=blue> Haydn

 

[duncan]

Re: fragrant red herring

an dpresumably you would be happy for this to be carried out in UK waters in January.....
more to the point haw does this benefit the agrieved party who is still out by one whole shilling - tickets sold - proceeds to contribute to the debt?

 

[Trevethan]

Re: Fragrant Wife Defence

Perhaps a flogging is called for? Would you be prepared to administer the punishment? Once the accused been done, its my turn.. *heehee*

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like the sound a dog makes just before it throws up

 

[paulineb]

Re: Fragrant Wife Defence

ME !!!!

Pxx

 

[hlb]

Re: fragrant red herring

An exelent idea. Yes we must with all haste, come to a decision before the weather improves. Byron I believe has some sort of advertising Co. How being a captain qualifies him for this, only he knows. Yes tickets one shilling each. Profits after of course first paying to the honourable Cutty Coliholic the said shilling. To go to the court and proceeds used for the next forum bash.

<font color=blue> Haydn

 

[duncan]

Re: fragrant red herring

could of course do teh whole thing in Newton in the spring, still blood* cold, and then to the bar afterwards.....

 

[hlb]

Re: fragrant red herring

Right. (Putting on black cap) Sentence is passed.

Learner shallbe taken hence forth to a place of penance untill the said time in the spring, where upon the execution of the sentance will be carried out. Court dismised. Next case.

<font color=blue> Haydn

 

[boatone]

\'Ere ...ang on a mo.....

....much too soon to pass sentence yet.....blimey, aint even 'eard from the accused or the plaintiff at this stage so lots more mileage in this riveting saga yet to come. Must ask tho.....have you had black cap specially made and embroidered with mobochat logo? If not get moving man.....we do things with style around here......

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[hlb]

Re: \'Ere ...ang on a mo.....

Ah but we can always have a retrial in the face of new evidence. Or because protocol was not followed on the grounds of no mobo logo on the black cap.
So we will carry out this sentence anyway, then if we find him not guilty in the retrial, we can keel haul Cutty Coliholic as well. Coures if all fails we can always Keel haul Boatone for perjury and waisting court time. I vote fordoing all three.

<font color=blue> Haydn

 

[ChrisP]

Re: \'Ere ...ang on a mo.....

As self appointed hangman to the forum I offer the alternative punishment of antifouling my boat. It's either that or the wife's got to do it.

ChrisP

What do you mean the sea gull in front's walking !!!

 

[paulineb]

Oi Perrott !!!

Why did Dominic ask me why you weren't following me to Guernsey this year?

Pxx

 

[EME]

Oi.. This is my second trial of the day , I'm asking for a day to prepare the defense.

First trial was this morning's Board meeting. I can confirm that in only keel-hauling and hanging me , you would appear to have been a lot more equitable than that bunch of muppets. However having conducted acts of piracy, I am in excellent humour as they OK'd annual bonuses.
Not sure they stretch to a shilling in my case but full defense will follow.

<font color=blue>I am WHAT I say I am</font color=blue>

 

[mtb]

Re: Breach of the human rights act

flagrant disregard to this persons right to privacy and life etc has already been ignored !!!!.
Surely the court cant set a legal precedent by denying his family and him self proper legal council, and time to prepare a case, call witnesses also to allow time for him reflect on his total lack of honour .
PAY up you dodgy git .

Mick

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