BrendanS
Well-known member
I've never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so
much. And I've never figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing. And, I've
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
And, I've never yet figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into
a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do".
Anyway, one evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed and just
as the passion starts to heat up, she comes off with. "Sorry. I just don't
feel like it right now. I just want you to hold me" .
I said, "WHAT?"
Then she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dreads. She
says that I'm just not in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. I'm
thinking, "Did I miss something here? What was her first clue?" I finally
realised that nothing was going to happen, so I went off to sleep.
The very next day we ! went shopping at a big, unnamed department store. I
walked around while my wife tried on three very expensive, top notch
outfits. She looked the business in each one and she couldn't decide which
one to take, so I said "go on, take all three".
Then she said that she wanted some matching shoes worth £200 each, to which
I said "OK, I can handle it." - well Visa can anyway. We then went to the
Jewellery Dept where she got herself a full set of diamond earrings with
matching necklace. Eureka! I'd found it, the way to a woman's heart. She was
so excited, she must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but
she was too happy to care.
Maybe she was just testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet, because
she doesn't even play tennis. Even so, she nearly had a heart attack because
I said yes to that as well!
She was obviously aroused by all this and her face just beamed when I said,
"Right, let's go to the till." I could hardly contain myself when we go to
the checkout and I said, "Sorry. I just don't feel like buying this stuff
right now."
You should have seen her face then. It went completely blank. Then I said,
"I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." And to top it all, I added
. . . "You're just not in tune with my financial needs as a Man."
Now that's what I call sweet revenge.
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much. And I've never figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing. And, I've
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
And, I've never yet figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into
a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do".
Anyway, one evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed and just
as the passion starts to heat up, she comes off with. "Sorry. I just don't
feel like it right now. I just want you to hold me" .
I said, "WHAT?"
Then she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dreads. She
says that I'm just not in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. I'm
thinking, "Did I miss something here? What was her first clue?" I finally
realised that nothing was going to happen, so I went off to sleep.
The very next day we ! went shopping at a big, unnamed department store. I
walked around while my wife tried on three very expensive, top notch
outfits. She looked the business in each one and she couldn't decide which
one to take, so I said "go on, take all three".
Then she said that she wanted some matching shoes worth £200 each, to which
I said "OK, I can handle it." - well Visa can anyway. We then went to the
Jewellery Dept where she got herself a full set of diamond earrings with
matching necklace. Eureka! I'd found it, the way to a woman's heart. She was
so excited, she must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but
she was too happy to care.
Maybe she was just testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet, because
she doesn't even play tennis. Even so, she nearly had a heart attack because
I said yes to that as well!
She was obviously aroused by all this and her face just beamed when I said,
"Right, let's go to the till." I could hardly contain myself when we go to
the checkout and I said, "Sorry. I just don't feel like buying this stuff
right now."
You should have seen her face then. It went completely blank. Then I said,
"I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." And to top it all, I added
. . . "You're just not in tune with my financial needs as a Man."
Now that's what I call sweet revenge.
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