Boating for Men vs Boating for Women

Great Thread Phil, a subject with the potential to be sensitive, being debated intelligently.... must be a first on here /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

On a more serious note, I think we sit somewhere between the extremes, with my better half preferring warm upright sailing, but not being completely put off by a cooler day with a bit of a breeze blowing... I note realistically that the destination is probably slightly more important than the journey...

I can relate to some of the comments about lack of confidence from SWMBO in taking on certain tasks, such as helming in a big sea, but will also add to the point, that I have noticed a real change over time, supplemented by a real enthusiasm to learn more, resulting in a more equitable distribution of responsibilities...
I would also add that I agree with the comments above about shouting.... our sailing plans would be sharply curtailed if that were ever to happen onboard, and quite right as well. I wonder how these things are related..... work hard to make sure that the sailing is a pleasure for all, and things change..... you get more supportive enthusisatic involvement, and more importantly, it becomes an activity where the partnership isn't one of skipper and crew, but more shared among equals.... and thats a goal worth chasing...
 
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being debated intelligently.... must be a first on here /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif



[/ QUOTE ] Oh...It's the Chentlemen's Cruise at the moment isn't it? /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
I think a number of posters missed the point, which you reiterate in your last paragraph. I think I can identify with it.

I've always wanted to absorb as much information about any interest of mine, whether it be sailing, photography, railways etc. I enjoy learning about the subject, and putting it into practice. I take an interest in areas peripheral to the main subject.

My good lady, on the other hand, tends to focus more on the task in hand, so to speak. She enjoys her sailing, but is prepared to close down the compartment in her mind labelled "boat" at the end of the weekend, and only open it up for the next trip.

Am I obsessive? Is my wife guilty of a "plug and play" approach to the hobby?

I think we need a social survey on this..... /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif
 
I don't see any firm conclusions emerging from the comments so far. It's going to remain one of life's imponderables.

I am the only member of my immediate family interested in sailing. My son didn't take to it for whatever reasons and SWMBO has too many other interests to want to add another. In common with (I suspect) many other sailors wives she is happy to go out occasionally in good weather and enjoy the day, will take the helm for short periods to allow me to do whatever or just take a break but has no interest in expanding her skills beyond the minimum. The boat of itself is of no great interest to her other than in it's role in my life as the major contributor to me maintaining a flimsy hold on sanity.

I just think there are activities that generally invite women's involvement and others that don't. Sailing is probably one that is always going to be mainly on the 'don't' side. Happily, there will always be many exceptions.
 
Cor, Lakey Boy, you don't half like to rattle the cage at times.

Without the intention of causing offence to any particular person, of any particular gender, race, height, weight, sexual orientation or preference in breakfast cereal. I have to agree that, in general, women are less obsessive about boating and many of the other pastimes that entertain us men. Yes, there are fanatical lady sailors, fanatical lady golfers and fanatical lady climbers etc. However, in my humble experience, it is usually the man who has the keenest interest in a hobby.

In my own case swmbo cautiously took up inland sailing because it was a "whole family" hobby, the children were young and this did cause her concern. She was happy to make the move to the coast, a few years later, but still felt a heavy responsibility for the now older, but still young, children. She has also been happy to spend a considerable dollop of our dosh on a new boat and has taken a full part in the "ownership experience" including the chores. However, I would say that she certainly sees it as my boat. Swmbo enjoys sailing, she took herself off to night school to get nav theory and likes it a little lively, but does not enjoy being frightened. Then again who really does? Now that the children are old enough to choose for themselves whether to come sailing with us swmbo is much more relaxed on the boat, as she feels that this has changed the burden of responsibility on her as a parent. I have to say though, and I know that she will agree, swmbo will probably always prefer a nice meal and berth on a ferry as a start to her holiday cruise, rather than a 12-14 hour slog across the channel.

It will be interesting to see how our experience of sailing evolves now that the children are "growed up" and we have the chance to sail as a couple, or family, or with our friends.
 
Ooh beancounter has a new name and a new avatar. Very nice.

Well, Lynn is becoming like me, and has an unhealthy obsession with all things nautical. Last night she went off to do her Dazedkipper theory chart exam, and took the day off to practice beforehand.
I came in with the milk and this months YM, and went out to make the tea. Find her silent and absorbed in YM on return. She is really interested in the maintenance and runnning of the boat, and is going to be Skipper for most of this season. That means me in a supporting role as Crew, and doing what I am told, but helping when asked on difficult stuff.
Last night she declared that she was happy with our 'Orange' equipment status on board, for the current cruising area. Brilliant, but it wont stop me planning further RORC Cat1 upgrades( /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif)
I feel very lucky. It is up to me to row us out to the boat on the mooring this evening though, as the outboard is locked to the pushpit rail on board, so the art of delegation is not lost on her.
 
Nope, my better half is as analytic as all get out when it comes to getting her horse to bend to her will, she cross examines the vet, farrier, horse-dentist and her riding instructors mercilessly. She reads everything she can get her hands on, mucks out, cleans and repairs her tack and pays the bills. (OK I do get to do the "unskilled Labourer" stuff like drive the car, repair the trialler, make up special rope gizmos and feed and tend the beast when she's ill, but that's all part of the "for better or for worse" promise I made all those years ago.)

She's not as confident or indeed interested in sailing, although she was a competant dingy sailor and can helm and sail-handle, when required, she wouldn't know a cunningham from a spinnaker up haul.....as long as the boat's not heeled over too far, the sun's shining, the Solent Chop's being kind and she'd got a good book to read...that's her idea of what sailing should be about. Except if we don't make it to Cowes or Yarmouth for lunch "when You said we would" she get's a bit narked.
 
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Well, Lynn is becoming like me, and has an unhealthy obsession with all things nautical.

[/ QUOTE ]Since when did an obsession with all things nautical become unhealthy?

SWMBO is pleasingly getting healthily obsessed... no longer do I have the pleasure of buying the latest YM or PBO.... she's invariably got it and read it by the time I get home from work....!
 
I must be blessed then.

Heather will helm the boat if I don't get to the wheel first, she won't, yet, steer into locks or onto moorings, mostly a confidence thing. Once we are out in tidal waters either of us take the wheel, if we can keep my son off it:-) Heather will polish and clean the hull as willingly as I, and did so when 8 1/2 months pregnant a few years back. Het is none too interested in what goes on in the engine room and, despite her own DS, expects me to do all the navigation, both passage planning and en route. Not a worry, I like that bit. Heather's eyesight is a lot better than mine, that means she usually gets to do the night sessions at the wheel. My dearest has remarked before now that any fool can helm at night in the open sea, 10 knots through the Pool of London in the dark is much harder.

If it gets lumpy then she doesn't like it, but lumpy seems a relative term.

Also makes a darned good G & T. A pearl beyond price.
 
Blimey this is a bit serious isnt it?

Is this the same Phil Brown, known for his wit and ability to produce photographs to, shall we say fit the occasion? /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif
 
I am a church of the open mind.

I think I'm starting to get the feel that my observations fit in well with a lot of your experiences. It's not soley a nautical thing. It does stretch across quite a few boundaries.

Next imponderable : Is it to do with the "multi-tasking" thing which women are accused of being so good at?
A little bit of everything, but not a lot of any one thing?
 
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Is it to do with the "multi-tasking" thing which women are accused of being so good at?

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Like driving whilst putting their make-up on, ooh! Now theres an error, one of those things they ain't so clever at!

ETAP__Owners runs and hides!!!!
 
Practical V Colourful

Man sees car looks firstly at the practical aspect - running costs etc. Woman - what colour is it.
Man sees dress - how much is it, will it get worn more than once. Woman - has it go sparkly bits.

etc
etc
etc

SWMBO fully agrees. It's amusing. And both points of view are just as valid.

Magic
 
I think it comes down to the fact that male and female have a different perspective on things, where the male and female have similar perspectives things work, but when they differ greatly it can be difficult for them to enjoy the same things if extremes are involved, ie roughly toughty things or girl girl things.

hope that made senses /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
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