Worst possible thing to say..

Naomi Campbell is down below, butt naked and waiting for you.
 
Absolutely true remark - by a professional who is now an MCA surveyor

J.. B... joined a ship as Navigating Officer half an hour before sailing time; thirty five minutes later, he appeared out of his cabin, sought out the Old Man, and said,

"Do you mind if I just go ashore to do some shopping and get a hair cut?"

"Have a look over the side!"...
 
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