Who takes the helm?

[johnalison]

We always pick up buoys from amidships, in the sense of halfway aft. Not only is the freeboard less but it is easier for the helmsman to see what is going on. My wife used to lie on the side deck to thread a line through the ring if there was no pick-up line but since she had a new knee she has become rebellious.

 

[Roberto]

I do everything by myself, my wife (when aboard) is not interested in anything related to sailing so for a peaceful family life we decided each to his/her own. Occasionally I may ask her to maneuver the boat under engine while I weigh the anchor during windy days, that saves me going back and forth the deck, but as we leave "please take this wheely thing back".

 

[Martin&Rene]

When we purchased the yacht it was on the understanding that Rene did all the mooring helming on buoys and in marinas and she is now rather good at it. Normal reasons, I am taller and slightly stronger, People still look on expecting it to go wrong. Next year, I really must have a go at berthing to see if I can still do it.

Berthing on a finger pontoon, I step off with a loop that has 2 lines on it that I drop on the end finger cleat. One line to the mid cleat is set so we know that we will not hit the main walkway and the other goes to the winch, so that the helm can wind it in to keep the stern in, as our prop kick in reverse is away from our home pontoon. Visiting other marinas, guess the pontoon length and adjust the mid-line length accordingly.

 

[rotrax]

Next year, I really must have a go at berthing to see if I can still do it.

Me too!

 

[Stemar]

For the really difficult buoy pickups, I had a line permanently mounted to a cleat on the pushpit, forward to a block in the bow and back to the pushpit. It doubled as a preventer. If picking up from the bow was too difficult for any reason - windy and the bow blowing off, for example, I'd pick up from the cockpit, attach the line and let go. We'd then sit happily attached to the mooring with a boat length of line, which I could pull in at leisure. Leisure was once half an hour of heaving in in the lulls and having to make off in the gusts - on a Snapdragon 24! That was breezy, and it was a wet and bumpy ride back to the club pontoon.

 

[Moodysailor]

It always strikes me as odd that the activity involving most strength/effort (lines) is usually done by the physically weaker half of a couple.

We're 'tween boats, but on our last this was our situation, mainly due to the characteristics of that boat (heavy boat, long keel deck saloon, aft helm) and the different experience levels between us. I never liked that one-sided nature of this.

We often discussed that as we mostly sailed two-up, it was important that either of us could do any of the roles on the boat (and that for practical reasons it makes sense if I do the pulling/pushing, stretching and stepping when we are mooring/anchoring), and this is one of the aspects that led to the situation we are in now as we realised that in order to get to that position on our previous boat it would have taken a lot of of investment that we didn't want to spend, and there would still be some limitations.

We are committed when we find our next boat that we will each share the tasks, and decide who is on the steery bit between us.

 

[oldmanofthehills]

For the really difficult buoy pickups, I had a line permanently mounted to a cleat on the pushpit, forward to a block in the bow and back to the pushpit. It doubled as a preventer. If picking up from the bow was too difficult for any reason - windy and the bow blowing off, for example, I'd pick up from the cockpit, attach the line and let go. We'd then sit happily attached to the mooring with a boat length of line, which I could pull in at leisure. Leisure was once half an hour of heaving in in the lulls and having to make off in the gusts - on a Snapdragon 24! That was breezy, and it was a wet and bumpy ride back to the club pontoon.

On our old trots which are side exposed to the prevailing SW winds we once managed to pick up stern buoy, got rope to middle of pickup line and spent nearly over an hour waiting for gap in gusts while cranking on winches to try and get bows less than ten metres from front buoy. Quite worried falling tide would leave us stranded and we would spend the night pointing stern 45 degrees down hill waiting for the boat to maybe swamp on next rising tide. And all this in a mere 12 to 15kt of wind. Moved to trot on windward side of creek so errors at least did not blow us straight up the bank, then got swinging mooring (and different boat) elsewhere.

I have done the swinging mooring in Cornwall in gusting F6 with some minor effort as strops not yet on buoy. Of course I didnt dare get in dinghy till wind abated but at least I and boat were safe. I love my old creek in Somerset but I will never love picking up trots

 

[MADRIGAL]

After years of family sailing, first university followed by work and then health problems took their toll on my crew of daughters and wife, respectively. When the stars align and we can get the full complement aboard, the girls and my Lady Wife take their watch at the helm in turn, and we decide as we approach the club who will take which role for berthing, as we have done for years. The only one who rarely takes the helm is the skipper, who stands quietly by to give judicious helm orders when they are required, which is rarely. It gives me great satisfaction to see any of my Officers of the Watch handle her with skill and confidence. Another joy is the two young men the girls have brought to join us, who show every sign of catching the sailing bug. It might be time to look at a bigger boat…

 

[thinwater]

I could check all 4 boxes. It just depends.

 

[Birdseye]

Seeing a comment on another thread about barking orders at the lady while docking I'm curious who does the boat handling on your boats and who ties up? Predominantly thinking of couples here, of course.

Not a straightforward answer. When going into a pontoon berth I do it because I have a better unbderstanding of prop wash etc. When picking up a mooring buoy in tide my wife does the helming - she is better at it than I am and the buoys are sometimes heavy. For anchoring, either of us, but usually her.

Generally speaking I do the grunt bit, she does the skill.