Peppermint
New member
I caught a vegi crew member attempting to let my Frey Bentos's loose into the wild. What should I do?
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Vegi liberation
- Thread starter Peppermint
- Start date
Evadne
Active member
The fool! Doesn't she realise that if they cross breed with tins of potatoes, we could have a plague of shepherd's pie on our hands?
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jimi
Well-known member
learn to spell!
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Ohdrat
New member
Advise about how detrimental alien speicies are to the environment .. they have no natural predators / parasites to control their numbers.. could be a population explosion and then what do you do? Fray Bentos Culling.. just think of the public uproar.. remember what happened over the hebridean hedghog cull?
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Clive_Rigden
New member
Treat it as one would a greedy labrador - fill its favourite lunch-nosh with freshly made mustard. It'll soon learn . . .
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dralex
New member
That's just their story- Fray Bentos is even higher on the scale than bacon butties for turning veggies and vegans over to the dark side- if you hadn't caught them, they'd have come up on deck with an evil grin, foaming at the mouth and a face covered in gravy- the condition commonly known as Fraybies.
Besides, any self respecting animal lover should know that FB's are bred in captivity and the end result of years of patient genetic modification- they never, ever survive in the wild. Sad but true.
<hr width=100% size=1>Life's too short- do it now./forums/images/icons/wink.gif
Besides, any self respecting animal lover should know that FB's are bred in captivity and the end result of years of patient genetic modification- they never, ever survive in the wild. Sad but true.
<hr width=100% size=1>Life's too short- do it now./forums/images/icons/wink.gif
Peppermint
New member
Re: What after all these years?
Not much hope I'm afraid.
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Not much hope I'm afraid.
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jimi
Well-known member
Re: What after all these years?
old dogs, new tricks .. listen if you shout after one running away fae ye..
"Abracadabra Abracadabra See you ya pie, turn into gold afore ma eye!"
The magic ingredient is 15 onlookers to make it work, gie it a try!
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old dogs, new tricks .. listen if you shout after one running away fae ye..
"Abracadabra Abracadabra See you ya pie, turn into gold afore ma eye!"
The magic ingredient is 15 onlookers to make it work, gie it a try!
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Metabarca
Well-known member
"they never, ever survive in the wild" Must be something in the climate in the UK because they never survive on the other side of the Channel either except in the occasional micro-climate afforded by a British yacht. And if found aboard by the French customs, the FBs are likely to be impounded as an Affront to Cuisine and Good Taste! Et c'est bien fait!
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Peppermint
New member
Re: Here in the wild Chilterns
Tales of sightings of "Fray Beasties" abound. No tame "Pukka" pie is safe.
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Tales of sightings of "Fray Beasties" abound. No tame "Pukka" pie is safe.
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jimi
Well-known member
Re: Here in the wild Chilterns
King Arthur and his Round Table knights have always have had long Chiltern roots, the round table is in fact an effigy of the first ever Fray Bentos pie with Lancelot credited with inventing the first tin opener.
The West has always had strong links with the Bentos story, with South Canbury, near Yeovil, rumoured to be the site of legendary Canalot.
The ancient Isle of Avalon - commonly identified as Glastonbury - is thought to be the last resting-place of Arthur and his SWMBO Guinever. There is uncertainty with regard s to Arthur's last meal though, both in terms of location and content. Some insist it was caulie cheese, others fried haggis and a 3rd camp insist it was the Holy Grail .. a blown Fray Bentos Steak and Kidney pie.
The only written record of the meal is in an ancient manuscript, which mentions "the fright at Canpan, where Arthur and Medraut fell." The date is put at around 515AD.
Canpan means crooked gut in Celtic, Scottish Arthur fans claim Canpan was Canniecrapp, and Arthur died from a severe dose of constipation brought on by inadequate roughage(SWMBO was a gentle soul) and too much eggie toast.
They claim the king was never brought back home to the West to be buried at Glastonbury but think the Isle of Avalon, meaning the place of apples,a medieval laxative .. but alas appaerently too late to save the king, was a small Roman fort near Birdoswald called Avanovashit, whose name means Apple Orchard.
Boatless however has been conducting some interesting research and thinks the place of the crooked gut explosion is the present-day Goring Gap, where the Thames winds through the Chilterns near Streatley.
Interestingly for West Arthurians, an ancient Roman road from Goring Gap leads directly to ... South Canbury. It would have been a relatively easy task for grieving Round Table knights to carry their dead king back along the road to Canalot, and then along to Avalon, less than 20 miles away.
King Arthur and Guinever are said to have been buried in the choir of the ruined abbey at Glastonbury, the choir have not sung since as they're too busy holding their noses and are getting quite old now anyway.
The monk who excavated their bodies some 500 years after their deaths claimed the female skeleton still was clasping a round metal object, but it completely disintegrated just minutes after the coffin was opened.
Hope that helps
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King Arthur and his Round Table knights have always have had long Chiltern roots, the round table is in fact an effigy of the first ever Fray Bentos pie with Lancelot credited with inventing the first tin opener.
The West has always had strong links with the Bentos story, with South Canbury, near Yeovil, rumoured to be the site of legendary Canalot.
The ancient Isle of Avalon - commonly identified as Glastonbury - is thought to be the last resting-place of Arthur and his SWMBO Guinever. There is uncertainty with regard s to Arthur's last meal though, both in terms of location and content. Some insist it was caulie cheese, others fried haggis and a 3rd camp insist it was the Holy Grail .. a blown Fray Bentos Steak and Kidney pie.
The only written record of the meal is in an ancient manuscript, which mentions "the fright at Canpan, where Arthur and Medraut fell." The date is put at around 515AD.
Canpan means crooked gut in Celtic, Scottish Arthur fans claim Canpan was Canniecrapp, and Arthur died from a severe dose of constipation brought on by inadequate roughage(SWMBO was a gentle soul) and too much eggie toast.
They claim the king was never brought back home to the West to be buried at Glastonbury but think the Isle of Avalon, meaning the place of apples,a medieval laxative .. but alas appaerently too late to save the king, was a small Roman fort near Birdoswald called Avanovashit, whose name means Apple Orchard.
Boatless however has been conducting some interesting research and thinks the place of the crooked gut explosion is the present-day Goring Gap, where the Thames winds through the Chilterns near Streatley.
Interestingly for West Arthurians, an ancient Roman road from Goring Gap leads directly to ... South Canbury. It would have been a relatively easy task for grieving Round Table knights to carry their dead king back along the road to Canalot, and then along to Avalon, less than 20 miles away.
King Arthur and Guinever are said to have been buried in the choir of the ruined abbey at Glastonbury, the choir have not sung since as they're too busy holding their noses and are getting quite old now anyway.
The monk who excavated their bodies some 500 years after their deaths claimed the female skeleton still was clasping a round metal object, but it completely disintegrated just minutes after the coffin was opened.
Hope that helps
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Goodge
Member
Re: Here in the wild Chilterns
Us mere mortals can only bow to your in-depth knowledge of your favourite subject.
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Us mere mortals can only bow to your in-depth knowledge of your favourite subject.
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IanPoole2
New member
Wyh?
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Gunfleet
New member
Re: Here in the wild Chilterns
Trust me it is not his favourite subject. More sail is his favourite subject. By the way jimi what have you got against Fray Bentos puddings? It's all pie pie pie with you.
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Trust me it is not his favourite subject. More sail is his favourite subject. By the way jimi what have you got against Fray Bentos puddings? It's all pie pie pie with you.
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boatless
New member
Re: Here in the wild Chilterns
As Jimi says, some interesting facts seem to be emerging.
Research isn't easy because I didn't actually stop at Cherbourg on the virtual cruise. Having been rebuffed by StellaGirl I carried on to the Ionian and have spent the past few weeks anchored in Spartakhori. Getting broadband laid on to the bar up in the village wasn't easy, but that's another story.
Firstly, the monk who claimed to have witnessed the crumbling round artefact at Glastonbury was not the Friar James that legend tells us. In fact he was an immigrant Uruguayan named German, but known as James because the English couldn't understand that the 'G' was pronounced 'H'. He came from a long line of South American monks, known as the German Friars. They seem to have been very advanced in the physical sciences. Alchemy was what they were best known for (and I have found mention of links to the Rosicrucians in this context), but scratching below the surface I have found that they were also responsible for the design of many of the ships built by Navies in South America and Europe. They also perfected early mass production techniques for navigation tools. Discovery of a naturally occuring magnetic ore enabled them to offer compasses in large numbers. I digress. Back to German...
Secondly, nobody actually witnessed the crumbling object event. German merely mentions it in his journal. Here the story took an unexpected twist. The passage in which he mentions the opening of the coffins was written in a form of code used by the Templars. Redecrypting it it was found to give greater detail. Upon opening the coffin of Guinevere, German did indeed find a round object, not crumbling but 'gimballing'. In fact it was an early example of one of the Friars' compasses. More importantly it was one of the infamous pre production units that were all thought to have been destroyed, following the discovery that the ore was unstable and would occasionally display the characteristics that the early Friars had been trying to exploit in alchemy. This would result in the transformation of the molecular structure of any organic compound nearby. Sadly, it did not work on Lead.
Records show that Arthur and Medrault met following Arthur's return from Gaul. While Arthur was away, overseeing the construction of the German Friars designed ship "Prydwen", Medrault had the affair with Guinevere. On hearing of it from the remorseful Medrault Arthur was far from upset, owning that he too had been having a bit of fun over in France. The Uruguayan owner of the shipyard had an unmarried daughter, who ran a business importing meat pies from her eponymous home town. Mercedes Bentos was apparently not only talented in the import business, Arthur had revealed. Unfortunately, Snr Bentos wasn't too impressed with Arthur's conduct, and forbade Mercedes to see him again. Devastated, Arthur abducted her and had brought her back to England with him. Arthur introduced the stolen Mercedes to Medrault and hatched a plot to dispose of Guinevere. They would give Guinevere one of the Friars' compasses and explain to her how it worked, what it did and so forth. They would the suggest that she try it out by walking 500 paces East, 500 North etc, to return to her starting point. Knowing that she'd be so preoccupied with navigating and simultaneously admiring the reflection of her blonde hair in the glass that she wouldn't notice the nearby River Thames and would fall in and drown. End of problem. Although she did indeed fall into water and drown it was nothing to do with the compass, which she had forgotten to take with her. In fact she had headed East but lost count of her steps and had started again, and again. Three miles later she fell into a small pond and drowned there instead. Canpan locals named it Fray's Pond in memory of the event, and though it is now known as Crays Pond, I can find no reference to why they named it Fray?
That fateful night in a small village near Canpan Arthur and Medrault met to celebrate the demise of Guinevere and sat down to enjoy one of the Uruguayan pies Arthur had brought back with him. They brought out the compass, which they placed near a candle to better examine it. The story goes that the heat caused the ore to become unstable, which transmuted the beef into arrowroot. The two were conseqently fatally constipated and died in 'unspeakable' agony. The compass and the remains of the pie were later buried with Guinevere, and the village was renamed Pangwellborne to honour the dignity with which Arthur died.
Now, when German discovered the compass in the coffin 500 odd years later he kept it for himself, and keen to promote the still extant Bentos pie business (in which he owned a small number of shares), embellishes the story about finding a historic pie.
What happened to the compass, or indeed German, thereafter is work in progress, but I can tell you that I have come across mention of a 'mad monk', known as James, who died in Avalon after many years of laudanum abuse whilst maintaining that he was now 'off the Needles'.
Anyway, the ice in my virtual Gin has melted and I must sign off now while I get Spiros to freshen it for me.
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As Jimi says, some interesting facts seem to be emerging.
Research isn't easy because I didn't actually stop at Cherbourg on the virtual cruise. Having been rebuffed by StellaGirl I carried on to the Ionian and have spent the past few weeks anchored in Spartakhori. Getting broadband laid on to the bar up in the village wasn't easy, but that's another story.
Firstly, the monk who claimed to have witnessed the crumbling round artefact at Glastonbury was not the Friar James that legend tells us. In fact he was an immigrant Uruguayan named German, but known as James because the English couldn't understand that the 'G' was pronounced 'H'. He came from a long line of South American monks, known as the German Friars. They seem to have been very advanced in the physical sciences. Alchemy was what they were best known for (and I have found mention of links to the Rosicrucians in this context), but scratching below the surface I have found that they were also responsible for the design of many of the ships built by Navies in South America and Europe. They also perfected early mass production techniques for navigation tools. Discovery of a naturally occuring magnetic ore enabled them to offer compasses in large numbers. I digress. Back to German...
Secondly, nobody actually witnessed the crumbling object event. German merely mentions it in his journal. Here the story took an unexpected twist. The passage in which he mentions the opening of the coffins was written in a form of code used by the Templars. Redecrypting it it was found to give greater detail. Upon opening the coffin of Guinevere, German did indeed find a round object, not crumbling but 'gimballing'. In fact it was an early example of one of the Friars' compasses. More importantly it was one of the infamous pre production units that were all thought to have been destroyed, following the discovery that the ore was unstable and would occasionally display the characteristics that the early Friars had been trying to exploit in alchemy. This would result in the transformation of the molecular structure of any organic compound nearby. Sadly, it did not work on Lead.
Records show that Arthur and Medrault met following Arthur's return from Gaul. While Arthur was away, overseeing the construction of the German Friars designed ship "Prydwen", Medrault had the affair with Guinevere. On hearing of it from the remorseful Medrault Arthur was far from upset, owning that he too had been having a bit of fun over in France. The Uruguayan owner of the shipyard had an unmarried daughter, who ran a business importing meat pies from her eponymous home town. Mercedes Bentos was apparently not only talented in the import business, Arthur had revealed. Unfortunately, Snr Bentos wasn't too impressed with Arthur's conduct, and forbade Mercedes to see him again. Devastated, Arthur abducted her and had brought her back to England with him. Arthur introduced the stolen Mercedes to Medrault and hatched a plot to dispose of Guinevere. They would give Guinevere one of the Friars' compasses and explain to her how it worked, what it did and so forth. They would the suggest that she try it out by walking 500 paces East, 500 North etc, to return to her starting point. Knowing that she'd be so preoccupied with navigating and simultaneously admiring the reflection of her blonde hair in the glass that she wouldn't notice the nearby River Thames and would fall in and drown. End of problem. Although she did indeed fall into water and drown it was nothing to do with the compass, which she had forgotten to take with her. In fact she had headed East but lost count of her steps and had started again, and again. Three miles later she fell into a small pond and drowned there instead. Canpan locals named it Fray's Pond in memory of the event, and though it is now known as Crays Pond, I can find no reference to why they named it Fray?
That fateful night in a small village near Canpan Arthur and Medrault met to celebrate the demise of Guinevere and sat down to enjoy one of the Uruguayan pies Arthur had brought back with him. They brought out the compass, which they placed near a candle to better examine it. The story goes that the heat caused the ore to become unstable, which transmuted the beef into arrowroot. The two were conseqently fatally constipated and died in 'unspeakable' agony. The compass and the remains of the pie were later buried with Guinevere, and the village was renamed Pangwellborne to honour the dignity with which Arthur died.
Now, when German discovered the compass in the coffin 500 odd years later he kept it for himself, and keen to promote the still extant Bentos pie business (in which he owned a small number of shares), embellishes the story about finding a historic pie.
What happened to the compass, or indeed German, thereafter is work in progress, but I can tell you that I have come across mention of a 'mad monk', known as James, who died in Avalon after many years of laudanum abuse whilst maintaining that he was now 'off the Needles'.
Anyway, the ice in my virtual Gin has melted and I must sign off now while I get Spiros to freshen it for me.
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jimi
Well-known member
Re: Here in the wild Chilterns
This is indeed an interesting insight. Documents of the Knight Templars which escaped the general destruction indicate that it was in fact Sir Gareth of Orkney who was plonking Arthur's SWMBO's strings and that as a token of his ardour presented her with, amonst other things, a tin of Grants tinned haggis. Could it be she was clutching this even in death? Sir Gawain, Gareth's bro , had a bit of a run in with the Greene Knight, soon to become the Greene King, and over a few jars of Old Speckled Hen rebuffed his missus who took umbrage and plotted revenge ..
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This is indeed an interesting insight. Documents of the Knight Templars which escaped the general destruction indicate that it was in fact Sir Gareth of Orkney who was plonking Arthur's SWMBO's strings and that as a token of his ardour presented her with, amonst other things, a tin of Grants tinned haggis. Could it be she was clutching this even in death? Sir Gawain, Gareth's bro , had a bit of a run in with the Greene Knight, soon to become the Greene King, and over a few jars of Old Speckled Hen rebuffed his missus who took umbrage and plotted revenge ..
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Metabarca
Well-known member
The sun has shone on my one lonely neuron today and I now know why Fray Bentos are so popular amongst the sailing ilk of the Wet Isles. It is for the ingredients of said delicacy and the name provides the hint (as is so often the case: eg. 'foie gras' which is a poncey way of saying 'fat liver'). To wit, 'bentos' or 'benthos' as it is commonly writ: the sea bottom and all the life that on it dwells. So what does this august forum think about eating tinned pond life, pray?
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Ohdrat
New member
I think it's cruel to keep pond life in a tin.. it should be allowed to roam free as the wind...
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