tcm
...
This boat has a skipper with it - free for the first season.
But the first skipper was a reserved french type, and SWMBO found herself cooking for him at Easter, then I went to gettim a plate, so there's two of us waitering onnim in st tropez while he has breakfast for which i got up an hour before him to buy bread, and he watches other skippers buzz around cleaning other boats. So I slightly blew up at him. But not too much - cos we had aranged a charter a couple of months ahead for which the boat needs a skipper to drive the thing.
Soo, second time down to boat, the boat was nice and cleaned, but that's it. No food, no drinks bought or anything. So I got a lift from him on his way home for lunch (sacrosanct to frenchie skipper of course) to the supermarket during lunchtime, so the supermarket was nice and empty.
I bought lots of stuff, whole trolley load of drinks. Ordered a cab back to the boat , and waited. The cab didn't turn up for twenty minutes, so i rangem back, and said where's the cab eh? Twenty minutes! You said five! Another twenty minutes went by and still no cab. rangem back. The lady in the cab firm says that the driver had decided against coming out for me cos I was in a strop. I said I was only in a strop cos he didn't come out! So, rang the skipper, now back at the boat, and asked him to order another cab from somewhere else. Ten minutes later rangim in a bit of a strop as I'd now spent a whole hour blimmin waiting for a five minute cab ride, and anyway I shouldn't b blimmin doimng this as he'd had flaming two weeks to buy bottles of water and I'm supposed to be on holiday fer chrissakes! He borrowed a car and came to get me, back to the boat, and it's a bit silent in the car.
Anyway, ahem, it turns out that I had set off to the supermarket at around kickoff time for the France-Senegal footie match, then tried to call cab, then gone potty, al etc etc... so was now feeling a bit of a git, but my french wasn't good enough to say sorry properly. And anyway he knows that really I wanted them to lose anyway, ahem er....
So, within 24 hours he's decided not to stay with the boat, when we move to antibes. Oh hell.
So, I hired another skipper. This one was swedish, with other attendant footie/world cup problems, fortunately resolved at 2nd round. But he was a bit raggie, so much more keen on thrashing around sniffing the wind rather than cleaning the boat. Two days before our return in mid June, he hired a deckhand/cook. This was actually ok, cos we need a crew of two for the charter. It's all seasonal so they leave at end septemebr or whenever. But, it turns out that he had hired the deckhand to clean the boat, and considers himself somewhat above that sort of thing. It also turned out that he hired another deckhand girlie for a day to show the first one what to do!
Fortunately, jfm snooped round to the boat the day before, and grassed them up. So, as soon as we lost to Brazil, I sacked the second skipper. Well, alright not outright "you're fired!" but a usual brit sort of "this isn't working out..." but it comes to the same thing.
Anyway, anyway third time lucky, sort of. We went out on the boat with this new girly, and it turns out that she has worked in ski chalets as cook for two seasons, so knows all about making nice food and getting drinks and more drinks. Which she does, all the time.
Also, she knows sod all about boats. Which is great. None of this "oh well, when I was on our last boat etc etc" and no black looks if I drive, cos she can't, so she doesn't start engines or suchlike to make it look like doing some work. Myself and a few friends showed her knots, and winches, and cleaning the boat, cleaning the boat again and such. She asked jfm how the gps worked, so he sketched a quick wiring diagram and explained rhumb lines v great circle (not sure she got this bit) so she went and got some more drinks.
Also she knows how to waterski. She also think I am a crap waterski boat driver, but wouldn't be so rude as to say so. I have now dragged people off ski's for a total of almost three hours and still not actually towed anyone whilst they ski. My excuse is that th boat is a bit quick, is only 3m long but the inboard jet engine says "175 V6", so you can get some one up, then hammer it donw and rip their arms off, then whoosh round and pickem up, which is the bit I am dead good at now...
Now, we're back in the UK and she's chasing all the warranty work on the boat! Hah! And so all the frenchy people have got to deal with this jolly hockey sticks type who runs to shops, gets drink for any worky people who might turn up, and keeps lists of who has been and what they've done. They say they'll be round first thing next morning, so she calls them if they aren't there at 9.15. Also, we get a skipper who knows the boat to do the charter and pay him by the day, so that's okay too.
Results so far show that you son't need anyone to drive the baot, which you like doing, and is the reason that the skipprs are mostly blokes. You DO need a hostess (stop sniggering at the back) to go and get drinks, do the fendering, the winch, the lines, washing, making beds, wash boat, make lunch, buy lunch and so on. Swmbo's can do these things, but usually it's a load of aggro, and they don't enjoy it much, and girls half their age can do it faster without the sarky comments.
here endeth the progress report.
But the first skipper was a reserved french type, and SWMBO found herself cooking for him at Easter, then I went to gettim a plate, so there's two of us waitering onnim in st tropez while he has breakfast for which i got up an hour before him to buy bread, and he watches other skippers buzz around cleaning other boats. So I slightly blew up at him. But not too much - cos we had aranged a charter a couple of months ahead for which the boat needs a skipper to drive the thing.
Soo, second time down to boat, the boat was nice and cleaned, but that's it. No food, no drinks bought or anything. So I got a lift from him on his way home for lunch (sacrosanct to frenchie skipper of course) to the supermarket during lunchtime, so the supermarket was nice and empty.
I bought lots of stuff, whole trolley load of drinks. Ordered a cab back to the boat , and waited. The cab didn't turn up for twenty minutes, so i rangem back, and said where's the cab eh? Twenty minutes! You said five! Another twenty minutes went by and still no cab. rangem back. The lady in the cab firm says that the driver had decided against coming out for me cos I was in a strop. I said I was only in a strop cos he didn't come out! So, rang the skipper, now back at the boat, and asked him to order another cab from somewhere else. Ten minutes later rangim in a bit of a strop as I'd now spent a whole hour blimmin waiting for a five minute cab ride, and anyway I shouldn't b blimmin doimng this as he'd had flaming two weeks to buy bottles of water and I'm supposed to be on holiday fer chrissakes! He borrowed a car and came to get me, back to the boat, and it's a bit silent in the car.
Anyway, ahem, it turns out that I had set off to the supermarket at around kickoff time for the France-Senegal footie match, then tried to call cab, then gone potty, al etc etc... so was now feeling a bit of a git, but my french wasn't good enough to say sorry properly. And anyway he knows that really I wanted them to lose anyway, ahem er....
So, within 24 hours he's decided not to stay with the boat, when we move to antibes. Oh hell.
So, I hired another skipper. This one was swedish, with other attendant footie/world cup problems, fortunately resolved at 2nd round. But he was a bit raggie, so much more keen on thrashing around sniffing the wind rather than cleaning the boat. Two days before our return in mid June, he hired a deckhand/cook. This was actually ok, cos we need a crew of two for the charter. It's all seasonal so they leave at end septemebr or whenever. But, it turns out that he had hired the deckhand to clean the boat, and considers himself somewhat above that sort of thing. It also turned out that he hired another deckhand girlie for a day to show the first one what to do!
Fortunately, jfm snooped round to the boat the day before, and grassed them up. So, as soon as we lost to Brazil, I sacked the second skipper. Well, alright not outright "you're fired!" but a usual brit sort of "this isn't working out..." but it comes to the same thing.
Anyway, anyway third time lucky, sort of. We went out on the boat with this new girly, and it turns out that she has worked in ski chalets as cook for two seasons, so knows all about making nice food and getting drinks and more drinks. Which she does, all the time.
Also, she knows sod all about boats. Which is great. None of this "oh well, when I was on our last boat etc etc" and no black looks if I drive, cos she can't, so she doesn't start engines or suchlike to make it look like doing some work. Myself and a few friends showed her knots, and winches, and cleaning the boat, cleaning the boat again and such. She asked jfm how the gps worked, so he sketched a quick wiring diagram and explained rhumb lines v great circle (not sure she got this bit) so she went and got some more drinks.
Also she knows how to waterski. She also think I am a crap waterski boat driver, but wouldn't be so rude as to say so. I have now dragged people off ski's for a total of almost three hours and still not actually towed anyone whilst they ski. My excuse is that th boat is a bit quick, is only 3m long but the inboard jet engine says "175 V6", so you can get some one up, then hammer it donw and rip their arms off, then whoosh round and pickem up, which is the bit I am dead good at now...
Now, we're back in the UK and she's chasing all the warranty work on the boat! Hah! And so all the frenchy people have got to deal with this jolly hockey sticks type who runs to shops, gets drink for any worky people who might turn up, and keeps lists of who has been and what they've done. They say they'll be round first thing next morning, so she calls them if they aren't there at 9.15. Also, we get a skipper who knows the boat to do the charter and pay him by the day, so that's okay too.
Results so far show that you son't need anyone to drive the baot, which you like doing, and is the reason that the skipprs are mostly blokes. You DO need a hostess (stop sniggering at the back) to go and get drinks, do the fendering, the winch, the lines, washing, making beds, wash boat, make lunch, buy lunch and so on. Swmbo's can do these things, but usually it's a load of aggro, and they don't enjoy it much, and girls half their age can do it faster without the sarky comments.
here endeth the progress report.
) (that is with the greatest of respect to mrs tcm)
