Townies! Ugh! VERY NB

[steve_cronin]

There is one of these so called "Reality TV" shows now called "The Farm" where minor celebs and other non-entities live "the country life".

If you've ever had experience of a pig farm you will know that AI is a normal regular procedure.

Searching for a legitimate business topic of the new mortgage regulation which comes into force on 31st October, a reference in that popular rag The Sun came up. One of the banners on the opening page was "Beckham girl pleasures a pig" which referred to a Ms Loos taking semen from a boar on the farm.

The related reactions from several townies just shows what an uninformed, protected, nannied lot they are. It is of course said that working in an abbatior would turn half the population into veggies.

What a sad lot our population has become.

If you're interested in looking:-
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2004462161,00.html

I continue to despair at what our population is turning into.

Steve Cronin



<hr width=100% size=1>The above is, like any other post here, only a personal opinion

 

[Althorne]

I'm a townie and agree that this nation is becoming a cossetted mass however I object to being 'lumped' in with everyone else ('cause it's so Labour) and I did a spell on a farm when younger where I looked after a herd of shit machines, commonly known as cows, and consider it one of the better years of my former years in many ways.
So unless you are yourself at this moment up to your armpits in brown crap or Stan's semen please give some of us the benefit of the doubt until you know better.

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[StellaGirl]

as long as they dont all start moving into the "country" to get away from the "hussle and bussle" they can say what they like. If I ever have to live next to one then thats a diferent story...

<hr width=100% size=1>Its 11.59am - lets open the beers...

 

[Twister_Ken]

Misunderstood

I though 'pleasuring the pig' was what the unlovely Beckham had been accused of doing to Ms Loos

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[snowleopard]

they can whinge all they like, as long as they stay put. what gets on my wick is when they move to the country and immediately start protesting about smells, muck on the road, having to reverse for tractors in the lanes etc.

from where i sit i can see a herd of 40 bullocks who are going to be spending the winter in the yard 20 yards from my front door.

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[webcraft]

Walled cities were a good idea - to keep the buggers in. I think you should be required to sit a test and get a licence before you are allowed out into the countryside.

- Nick

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[Twister_Ken]

>from where i sit i can see a herd of 40 bullocks who are going to be spending the winter in the yard 20 yards from my front door. <

Makes my neighbours seem very couth.

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[Twister_Ken]

Au contraire, mate

The reason some of us choose to live in town is because we were born in the country.

The pros and cons of living in the country.

Pro
Views

Con
Mud
20 minutes in the car to get a newspaper
Noisy chickens
Noisy dogs
Noisy cows
Noisy sheep
Mud
Noisy pigs
Noisy machinery
Noisy foxes
Mud
No neighbours
Inbreeding
16 year old pick-up trucks
Nearest school - 15 miles away
Nearest doctor - 7 miles away
Nearest hospital - 20 miles away
Mud
Fox murderers
A choice of one pub
Ramblers walking through your garden
Squiirels fighting bats in your roof
Mud
Power cuts when there's a bit of a gale
Septic tanks
Mud
Unmade roads that turn into stream beds in winter
Depressed farmers
Prats in 4x4s
Prats on trail bikes
Prats on mountain bikes
Low flying RAF trainers
Mud.



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[benjenbav]

Cheer up! Before they come in to your local you just need to have watched the first few minutes of "An American Werewolf in London" and practised the Brian Glover lines, "Stay on the path tonight, lads" etc

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[andyb]

Re: Au contraire, mate

"Prats in 4x4's"

Surely more commonplace in towns nowdays

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[jhr]

American Werewolf

If it's all the same with you, I'll skip that section and fast forward to the bit where he entertains Jenny Agutter in the shower........ /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif

PS Trivia alert: if you must watch the Pub scene, look closely and you will see a very young Rik Mayall playing one of the locals.

<hr width=100% size=1>Je suis Marxiste - tendance Groucho

 

[pragmatist]

Not sure I entirely disagree with you. Our farmers continually transport s**t in open-backed trailers (wholly illegal) and find it v amusing when it falls all over the road - to the extent of cackling when some poor visitor asked for a shovel to shift the 3ft pile left on the road. But when an "incomer" protested about the state of the roads he was told by (ex-farmer) Chairwoman of Parish Council that it was just living in the country. Sadly the next week the Chairwoman's farmer son wrote his car off (no damage to him) on the messy roads.

Personally I wouldn't upset the neighbours by complaining but some farmers do take the mickey a bit, IMHO.

<hr width=100% size=1>a pragmatist is an optimist with a boat in the UK - but serious about not being in the UK !

 

[snowleopard]

Re: Au contraire, mate

pros and cons of living in town

Pro
corner shops (that you don't use because you drive to the supermarket)
theatres (that you never visit)
nearby schools (that you don't use because they're ofsted 'failures')
nearby doctors (who can't see you for 2 weeks)
nearby chemists (that you don't need because you can pick up free syringes etc from your front garden)
nearby hospitals (with 4-hour wait in A&E)
nearby cash machines (that you can't use at night because of muggers)
night life (drunken yobs and pavement pizzas)
lots of roads (average speed 8 mph)
convenient parking (with meters)
buses you don't use
pavements (aka cycle paths / dog bogs)
choice of pubs, all with friendly bouncers

cons
no countryside

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[pessimist]

>>Makes my neigbours seem couth

Taking about Chris or the bullocks?

<hr width=100% size=1>A pessimist is an optimist in full possession of the facts

 

[Twister_Ken]

Re: Au contraire, mate

In towns they only dent BMW estate cars, so no great harm done

In the country, they tear up bridleways and green lanes that never recover

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[Sans Bateau]

Re: Au contraire, mate

"Prats in 4x4's" AKA Chelsea tractors. The whole range can be seen oustide any suburban school in the morning or afternoon, usually abandoned half on the pavement and half blocking the road.

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[steve_cronin]

Please inform....

..where is this A&E where you only have to wait 4 hours.
Leicester RI is currently 9hrs. One of our key staff is off work today after spending all of last night in that Hellhole (Consultant Mr Bodywalla- which always amused me)

Steve Cronin



<hr width=100% size=1>The above is, like any other post here, only a personal opinion

 

[beancounter]

Re: Au contraire, mate

>usually abandoned half on the pavement and half blocking the road<
It's the nearest most of 'em will ever get to being "off road"...

<hr width=100% size=1>Fabricati Diem, punc

 

[flyingjunior]

Remember corky the cockcrel? I belive the chap who complained and took corkys owner to court had previously complained about the sheep next door to him were too noisy as well.


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[BlueSkyNick]

Totally wrong !!

PROs

Mud - a bit of dirt never hurt anybody.
20 minutes in the car to get a newspaper - At least we have social intercourse when in the shop - who needs a newspaper, anyway?
Noisy chickens - we've got 7 of them - lay some lovely fresh eggs every day - none of the mass produced supermarket rubbish.
Noisy dogs - we've got 2 of them, although youngest doesn't bark. They provide security instead of some noisy alarm system that goes off at all hours, and nobody cares about.
Noisy cows - SOme just up the road - better than noisy, smelly taxis and buses.
Noisy sheep - Some of them just up the road - at least we know when the farmer is enjoying himself.
Mud - still hasn't hurt anybody yet.
Noisy pigs - not a problem, all the police have been reassigned to the local town.
Noisy machinery - much less noisy than those taxis and buses mentioned above.
Noisy foxes - not at all, they've been kept under control by the huntsmen.
Mud - great for entertainment, if you can find the right women to wrestle in it
No neighbours - true for us, could easily walk around the garden bollock naked and not care about it.
Inbreeding - nothing wrong with that, as long as its kept in the family.
16 year old pick-up trucks - At least they wait until 16, its 12 or 13 in the towns. Oh - trucks. Sorry I misread you.
Nearest school - 15 miles away. Only 7 actually, but a fine school it is too, because only decent people bother to make their way there.
Nearest doctor - 7 miles away. 9 miles actually, wHich takes about 10 mins in the car, unlike 7 miles in the city which takes about 2 hours.
Nearest hospital - 20 miles away. We are lot healthier than city dwellers so don't need to go so often.
Mud - great fun for playing with the 4WD
Fox murderers - All debates on hunting should be banned
A choice of one pub - with no townies, drunken thugs or noisy jukebox
Ramblers walking through your garden - past the end of the drive, they always say hello very nicely, without breaking in and nicking anything.
Squiirels fighting bats in your roof. More squirrels in the city than the country.
Mud - as above
Power cuts when there's a bit of a gale - adds a bit of fun to life - cooking baked beans and sausages on the camping stove.
Septic tanks - no problem, hasn't needed emptying in over two years, and my water bill is less than a tenner per month.
Mud - as above
Unmade roads that turn into stream beds in winter - with no other traffic on them
Depressed farmers - the rich one is a great servant to the village. The poor one stays at home all the time (out of sight, out of mind)
Prats in 4x4s - when SWMBO wrote off the last one, she got out and walked away.
Prats on trail bikes - far less than courier bikes in the city.
Prats on mountain bikes - far less than prats on bikes in the city
Low flying RAF trainers - is this the same as welly-flingining? As for aeroplanes, Gordon Brown has made sure they can't afford to fly them any more.
Mud - nothing quite like it for calling the blood.


There - all benefits. And we can park all our cars within in our own property instead of several blocks away.


<hr width=100% size=1>Ban all debates on hunting, shooting and fishing.