those lines you wish you had said!!!

[powerskipper]

Have you ever been in a stressful situation, where somebody is getting on your nerves and all you want is 1 line to get them to go away. These useful expressions should solve that problem. ...

Well, aren't we just a ray of sunshine?

Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?

Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.

Do I look like a people person?

This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

You! Off my planet !!

Therapy is expensive, popping bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.

Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.

I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

Do they ever shut up on your planet?

I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.

How many times do I have to flush before you go away?

I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.

Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.

Earth is full. Go home.

Is it time for your medication or mine?

Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?

I plead contemporary insanity.

How do I set a laser printer to stun?

I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you

/forums/images/icons/wink.gif


<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://powerskipper.mysite.freeserve.com/>http://powerskipper.mysite.freeserve.com/</A>
Julie

 

[Jeremy_W]

I think you've mistaken me for someone who gives a ****!

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[charon]

What part of the word NO don't you understand?

Don't think with your head, try the other end.

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[Rowana]

If brains were dynamite, you couldna blaw your bunnet aff!

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[dralex]

I'm going to tell my daddy on you- na na na na na

<hr width=100% size=1>Life's too short- do it now./forums/images/icons/wink.gif

 

[Guest]

Isn't it past your bedtime ??

<hr width=100% size=1>Nigel ... and of course Yahoo groups :
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gps-navigator/

 

[Dave_Snelson]

These lines were actually said...

No names - no packdrill, but I was in a friends boat at a certain marina fuel berth and there was a queue of 4 boats ahead of us on a very hot day with a falling tide. One of the owners decided that after filling up, they would a) clean the windscreen and b) send the somewhat overweight lady off to buy a gallon of oil.

Activity a) had my friend shouting...."Thats OK buddy, you take all day. There's plenty of high tide for the rest of us" (shouted twice!).

Activity b) when the lady arrived back gave rise to the following shouted comment..."Bought a gallon of oil have you? Well if its sun oil, you'll need the whole damn gallon to cover your fat lardy body - now get a move on!"

Now I don't often cringe but...

<hr width=100% size=1>Madoc Yacht Club
<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.madocyachtclub.co.uk>http://www.madocyachtclub.co.uk</A>

 

[AJW]

"Visualise a map of the pacific, now look at the tiniest island you can find, a tiny atoll in the middle of all that blue, a pinprick on the map hardly above water. Visualise that right? Ok THATS WHERE THE PEOPLE THAT CARE LIVE!"


(A development of "you are confusing me with someone who gives a damn")

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[steve_cronin]

You\'re not from Baldock are you?

I have a friend who hails from there and each of those One-Liners could be one of his (& several CERTAINLY are!)

Steve Cronin



<hr width=100% size=1>The above is, like any other post here, only a personal opinion

 

[steve_cronin]

You\'re not from Baldock are you?

I have a friend who hails from there and each of those One-Liners could be one of his (& several CERTAINLY are!)

Steve Cronin



<hr width=100% size=1>The above is, like any other post here, only a personal opinion

 

[DogStar]

Re: You\'re not from Baldock are you?

Here's 10p, call someone who gives a toss....

...where were you when the gorms were being handed out?....


Here's a lovely line, a skipper I know told one of his crew after they had blocked the head..."How many time do I have to tell you: you only need 3 sheets! 1 up, 1 down and 1 to polish!".... sorry, but it made me giggle.

<hr width=100% size=1>I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy!

 

[LittleShip]

You forgot the new management term of J.F.D.I.
It stands for "just do it" ?????

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I wish I'd been born rich instead of good looking ?

 

[beancounter]

a few more...

1. Ahhh...I see the cock-up fairy has visited us again...

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

10. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of cr*p.

11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. No, my powers can only be used for good.

24. You sound reasonable... Time to up the medication.

25. Who me? I just wander from room to room

26. Allow me to introduce my selves.

27. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

28. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

29. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?



<hr width=100% size=1>Fabricati Diem, punc