DownWest
Well-known member
Ha! The french have long practice
some where on the key board, when you find out, let me know.
some where on the key board, when you find out, let me know.
The hazards of liveaboard socialising
- Thread starter Birvidik_Bob
- Start date
Woodlouse
New member
Like this and like this.
Birvidik_Bob
New member
You're not French are you?
Woodlouse
New member
Non!
AndrewB
Well-known member
By coimcidence I was just reading the late Des Sleightholme's take on getting rid of guests from "Handing the Nuts Round" in an ancient copy of YM. Don't which is the funnier ... BB, you ought to apply for his sadly vacant seat!
For a little trip down memory lane, here's part of the opening of Sleightholme's piece:
"The thing to be bourne in mind when inviting strangers aboard for drinks is that it's not so much a matter of whether they'll come as whether they'll go.
Usually it is the old man who hands out random invitations after a survey of the burgees and what's on offer. He remembers to mention this about half an hour before guests are due. Lady-wife, predictably, throws a wobbly. 'But we haven't any peanuts!' she cries agast, implying that the guests, like some monstrous blue tits, will immediately hang upside-down in the rigging and wait to be fed. In near panic she starts smearing little pieces of toast with Marmite.
... If you don't want your guests to become lodgers keep them on deck. Let them go below at your peril. Once a guest gets his hooter down the companionway it's like trying to get rid of carrot-fly. Once a guest is well into his saga of iniquitous harbour masters, he's harder to shift than gravy stains on a rented dinner jacket. A sulphur candle might do it, possibly a three-star red or dry powder extinguisher discharged up the kilt. Failing all, changing into pyjamas and setting the alarm clock is the last hope."
For a little trip down memory lane, here's part of the opening of Sleightholme's piece:
"The thing to be bourne in mind when inviting strangers aboard for drinks is that it's not so much a matter of whether they'll come as whether they'll go.
Usually it is the old man who hands out random invitations after a survey of the burgees and what's on offer. He remembers to mention this about half an hour before guests are due. Lady-wife, predictably, throws a wobbly. 'But we haven't any peanuts!' she cries agast, implying that the guests, like some monstrous blue tits, will immediately hang upside-down in the rigging and wait to be fed. In near panic she starts smearing little pieces of toast with Marmite.
... If you don't want your guests to become lodgers keep them on deck. Let them go below at your peril. Once a guest gets his hooter down the companionway it's like trying to get rid of carrot-fly. Once a guest is well into his saga of iniquitous harbour masters, he's harder to shift than gravy stains on a rented dinner jacket. A sulphur candle might do it, possibly a three-star red or dry powder extinguisher discharged up the kilt. Failing all, changing into pyjamas and setting the alarm clock is the last hope."
BrianH
Active member
Ah, dear JDS, how I loved his humorous articles and exploits of 'Old Harry'. As for the alarm clock comment, that actually happened to me once. I had been invited to a colleague's apartment once and upon entering and after the introductions he produced one of those classic ones with the two bells mounted on the top and, while winding it, asked me precisely at what time I planned on departing. One doesn't linger long after that sustained ringing.
Madeo
Member
Cheery
Well-known member
I loved that, so I scrolled down and read a few more. I particularly liked the anchoring one and Mr Flannelli.
To bold or italic, highlight the words to be affected by left clicking and dragging the cursor over them. Then just click the B, the I or if you wish to underline something the U.
Hope that helps.
To bold or italic, highlight the words to be affected by left clicking and dragging the cursor over them. Then just click the B, the I or if you wish to underline something the U.
Hope that helps.
