JumbleDuck
Well-Known Member
They have had to be limited on Loch Lomond, to which many of them decamped when Windermere became restricted.
The Hamble in Spate
- Thread starter dylanwinter
- Start date
They have had to be limited on Loch Lomond, to which many of them decamped when Windermere became restricted.
FWB
N/A
The Iffenpoofs and Stinkpots. 1950 US magazine article
Found this from a 1950 US magazine.
See page 34 continues page 58. Relevant to this discussion, seems as if nothing has changed in 65 years.
https://books.google.co.uk/books?id...ed=0CB8Q6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=iffenpoofs&f=false
Found this from a 1950 US magazine.
See page 34 continues page 58. Relevant to this discussion, seems as if nothing has changed in 65 years.
https://books.google.co.uk/books?id...ed=0CB8Q6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=iffenpoofs&f=false
dylanwinter
Well-Known Member
well found that man
of course we can go a lot further back to three men in a boat
"We had a good deal of trouble with steam launches that morning. It was just before the Henley week, and they were going up in large numbers; some by themselves, some towing houseboats. I do hate steam launches: I suppose every rowing man does. I never see a steam launch but I feel I should like to lure it to a lonely part of the river, and there, in the silence and the solitude, strangle it.
There is a blatant bumptiousness about a steam launch that has the knack of rousing every evil instinct in my nature, and I yearn for the good old days, when you could go about and tell people what you thought of them with a hatchet and a bow and arrows. The expression on the face of the man who, with his hands in his pockets, stands by the stern, smoking a cigar, is sufficient to excuse a breach of the peace by itself; and the lordly whistle for you to get out of the way would, I am confident, ensure a verdict of “justifiable homicide” from any jury of river men.
They used to HAVE to whistle for us to get out of their way. If I may do so, without appearing boastful, I think I can honestly say that our one small boat, during that week, caused more annoyance and delay and aggravation to the steam launches that we came across than all the other craft on the river put together.
“Steam launch, coming!” one of us would cry out, on sighting the enemy in the distance; and, in an instant, everything was got ready to receive her. I would take the lines, and Harris and George would sit down beside me, all of us with our backs to the launch, and the boat would drift out quietly into mid-stream.
On would come the launch, whistling, and on we would go, drifting. At about a hundred yards off, she would start whistling like mad, and the people would come and lean over the side, and roar at us; but we never heard them! Harris would be telling us an anecdote about his mother, and George and I would not have missed a word of it for worlds.
Then that launch would give one final shriek of a whistle that would nearly burst the boiler, and she would reverse her engines, and blow off steam, and swing round and get aground; everyone on board of it would rush to the bow and yell at us, and the people on the bank would stand and shout to us, and all the other passing boats would stop and join in, till the whole river for miles up and down was in a state of frantic commotion. And then Harris would break off in the most interesting part of his narrative, and look up with mild surprise, and say to George:
“Why, George, bless me, if here isn’t a steam launch!”
And George would answer:
“Well, do you know, I THOUGHT I heard something!”
Upon which we would get nervous and confused, and not know how to get the boat out of the way, and the people in the launch would crowd round and instruct us:
“Pull your right – you, you idiot! back with your left. No, not YOU – the other one – leave the lines alone, can’t you – now, both together. NOT THAT way. Oh, you – !”
Then they would lower a boat and come to our assistance; and, after quarter of an hour’s effort, would get us clean out of their way, so that they could go on; and we would thank them so much, and ask them to give us a tow. But they never would.
Another good way we discovered of irritating the aristocratic type of steam launch, was to mistake them for a beanfeast, and ask them if they were Messrs. Cubit’s lot or the Bermondsey Good Templars, and could they lend us a saucepan.
Old ladies, not accustomed to the river, are always intensely nervous of steam launches. I remember going up once from Staines to Windsor – a stretch of water peculiarly rich in these mechanical monstrosities – with a party containing three ladies of this description. It was very exciting. At the first glimpse of every steam launch that came in view, they insisted on landing and sitting down on the bank until it was out of sight again. They said they were very sorry, but that they owed it to their families not to be fool-hardy.
JumbleDuck
Well-Known Member
All of which is the set up for
At Reading lock we came up with a steam launch, belonging to some friends
of mine, and they towed us up to within about a mile of Streatley. It is
very delightful being towed up by a launch. I prefer it myself to
rowing. The run would have been more delightful still, if it had not
been for a lot of wretched small boats that were continually getting in
the way of our launch, and, to avoid running down which, we had to be
continually easing and stopping. It is really most annoying, the manner
in which these rowing boats get in the way of one's launch up the river;
something ought to done to stop it.
And they are so confoundedly impertinent, too, over it. You can whistle
till you nearly burst your boiler before they will trouble themselves to
hurry. I would have one or two of them run down now and then, if I had
my way, just to teach them all a lesson.
of mine, and they towed us up to within about a mile of Streatley. It is
very delightful being towed up by a launch. I prefer it myself to
rowing. The run would have been more delightful still, if it had not
been for a lot of wretched small boats that were continually getting in
the way of our launch, and, to avoid running down which, we had to be
continually easing and stopping. It is really most annoying, the manner
in which these rowing boats get in the way of one's launch up the river;
something ought to done to stop it.
And they are so confoundedly impertinent, too, over it. You can whistle
till you nearly burst your boiler before they will trouble themselves to
hurry. I would have one or two of them run down now and then, if I had
my way, just to teach them all a lesson.
dylanwinter
Well-Known Member
the man is a genius
not you obviously
although that is also a notion we should not entirely discard
JKJ I meant
my favourite humorous book
D
Seajet
...
Seeing as I was sailing a dinghy - which requires skills - and very nearly run over and killed by a berk in a speedboat - which also requires skills but doesn't often have any applied, any idiot can turn a steering wheel and slam a throttle open - I reckon I have every reason to feel righteous !
The benefit of the speed limit on Windermere isn't just to sailing boat types, it's to the surrounding shores, and for miles around noise wise.
It always amazes me that people put things like Moonrakers and their modern equivalents on the lake, even keeping to the speed limit it must get pretty limited.
If mobo's want to play at high speeds, instead of wrecking a tranquil place and risking other people's lives, there's a newly invented alternative, don't know if it will ever catch on mind - I think the catchy marketing name is ' the sea '.
wully1
Well-Known Member
#62
Had to laugh.
Had to laugh.
JumbleDuck
Well-Known Member
It is superb, and amazingly un-dated for a book written over 125 years ago.
KINGFISHER 9
Well-Known Member
DW .... I don't think anybody's imagining anything or putting words in your mouth, as you suggest above ... the words were your own in that video up the Beaulieu River ...I'm afraid you lost all credibility with a lot of people, including sailors, which was a shame, you were doing quite well up to then.
Seajet
...
Kingfisher 2,
I agree completely; Dylan should have sworn much more, visited the Master Builders to show just what surly diabolical service really is, and mentioned Boy Scouts in the woods.
It really was much too tame, he seemed intent on showing the wonderful river and only mildly commented on the greed...
I agree completely; Dylan should have sworn much more, visited the Master Builders to show just what surly diabolical service really is, and mentioned Boy Scouts in the woods.
It really was much too tame, he seemed intent on showing the wonderful river and only mildly commented on the greed...
KINGFISHER 9
Well-Known Member
Aerosol.
Resolution
Well-Known Member
If his camera had been in focus his film might have showed the mozzies that migrate down from Scotland and make the Hamble hell in summer.
dylanwinter
Well-Known Member
I was accused for my opiunions on seahorses (I have diligently remained silent on the issue so far and hatring all mobos. I have also been called a **** and told to bugger off in these two threads.
I don't think I mentioned seahorses when on Montys river and I don't think I mentioned mobo drivers at all.
I do wish you chaps would pay attention and get your facts straight before getting angry with me for opinions I have yet to express. I am fairly careful about what I say. I really am.
Of course, if you wish to make any films at all I would be most pleased to watch them and I promise top say only nice things about them and about you.
So far you chaps have me knocked into a cocked hat when it comes to rudeness.
And the last bloke in the film - surely to goodness that is not a nice thing to do.
Dylan
KINGFISHER 9
Well-Known Member
Well I watched you in a video up the Beaulieu River slagging off moboers as hard as you could go ... the boats and the people who own them ... maybe you were drunk ... maybe you're drunk now ... either way you seem to have a selective memory (maybe you've deleted the video and are now trying to deny it) Who mentioned seahorses? Not me.
dylanwinter
Well-Known Member
you really must learn to listen rather than letting you imagination run away with you
feel free to watch the film again and transcibe the words and I will apologise for them on here
D
https://vimeo.com/120623195
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bitbaltic
Well-Known Member
Completely out of order.
dylanwinter
Well-Known Member
I think being called a **** and told to bugger off is a fair bit worse
but being accused of being a drunk or drugged liar
The film in question was shot soon after dawn on a May morning
Had I been drunk at such a time then that would indeed have been a shameful thing to be
Dylan
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Seajet
...
Dylan,
the comment on focus was pretty rich I thought, speaking as one ex-large company pro photographer to another, I've never seen anything remiss, maybe he was confused by a fade in or out
As you're being accused of doing and / or saying things you didn't, how about you get your money's worth and really let rip - ' Monty's River; The Director's Cut ' It should go viral within minutes !
the comment on focus was pretty rich I thought, speaking as one ex-large company pro photographer to another, I've never seen anything remiss, maybe he was confused by a fade in or out
As you're being accused of doing and / or saying things you didn't, how about you get your money's worth and really let rip - ' Monty's River; The Director's Cut ' It should go viral within minutes !
jac
Well-Known Member
N
Go up during the summer months when they elevate extortion to a whole new level.
You're forgetting that Dylan want up the river in Winter when the charges just look extortionate.Dylan,
the comment on focus was pretty rich I thought, speaking as one ex-large company pro photographer to another, I've never seen anything remiss, maybe he was confused by a fade in or out
As you're being accused of doing and / or saying things you didn't, how about you get your money's worth and really let rip - ' Monty's River; The Director's Cut ' It should go viral within minutes !
Go up during the summer months when they elevate extortion to a whole new level.
Seajet
...
jac,
yes I was struck by the ( relatively ) low marina charges Dylan mentioned, it was 2-3 times that decades ago for my 22' !
I wondered if maybe Monty had rationalised charges, but then I was distracted by a squadron of pigs.
yes I was struck by the ( relatively ) low marina charges Dylan mentioned, it was 2-3 times that decades ago for my 22' !
I wondered if maybe Monty had rationalised charges, but then I was distracted by a squadron of pigs.
