Sailing Excitement/Fear

Oh heavens...every time I go I get the heeby jeebies and I don't spend a lot of time on the water, so I'd never dare call myself 'experienced. because I'm not. but I have been sailing since 1958, on and off. I do love it when the boat is well balanced and sailing well. I get a big sense of well being, but it never lasts long until something upsets the order. SWMBO is pretty well a non sailor now, she is so frightened, and yet in our youth we set out in dinghies in a big variety of weathers and came through them all. I think age makes us cautious.

Tim
 
Every now and then I think about why i sail.

I think we all do this and will all have our different reasons as well as many very common ones. I started sailing as a young adult, teaching myself from a book and practising in my home-built Mirror. Then, that was the culmination of a determined ambition borne of spending many summers by the sea, looking out, watching boats and waves landing on the shore and generally dreaming of distant horizons. It has taken me a number of decades to be able to fulfill my next ambition of having my own little seaworthy sailing boat which would look after me, and mine, on longer passages - and that same dream of distant horizons is still there. And I hope it never leaves.

But across all of it is an enormous respect for the sea and weather and the undefeatable powers of nature. Over my years of dreaming and practising I have learnt that for me it is about nurturing a relationship with this in my sailing. Occasionally we can go out and enter a zone where everything just comes together, instinct takes over and I feel that it is no longer me sailing the boat but she and me sailing together, perfectly responsive to the forces around us, conscious of the smile on my face as the weights of any other troubles simply disappear with the wind and the receding shore. Yes, they might still be there when I return - but I will be better able to deal with them. And that fear experienced on the water, and managed safely (even if not perfectly) offers the strength and will to do it all again.

I am currently reading Moitessier's The Long Way (what a superb book!) and find that he describes so many of these thoughts and emotions of why we sail better than I ever could:-
Joshua drives towards the Horn under the light of the stars and the somewhat distant tenderness of the moon. Pearls run off the staysail; you want to hold them in your hand, they are real precious stones, that live only in the eyes. The wake spins out very far behind up the slopes of the seas like a tongue of fire and the close-reefed sails stand out against the clear sky, with the moon making the sea on the quarter glisten. White reflection of the southern ice. Broad greenish patches of foam on the water. Pointed tooth-like seas masking the horizon, dull rumbling of the bow struggling and playing with the sea.
The entire sea is white and the sky as well. I know longer quite know how far I have got, except that we long ago left the borders of too much behind. But never have I felt my boat like that; never has she given me so much.
 
Pmkc said:
This an important issue for me right now.

I am in my third year of owning a yacht, although its only 27ft built in 1970s I have developed a growing anxiety about taking the boat out. What is so puzzling for me is that since I have owned the boat I have sailed singlehanded on most trips without any serious incidents. I did not manage to sail much last year due to weather and other reasons so I guess lack of experience is the main problem. I think the main concern for me is not having the ability to control the boat under sail alone, always thinking what would I do if the engine packed up now!

I do not have any sailing friends or relatives to act as mentors and coming to sailing at age 55 I seem to find everyone I meet has been sailing since about 10 years of age.

Anyway I am now wondering if I should just sell the boat and be done with it.
Click to expand...

Remember why you bought the thing in the first place. Like you I came late to this hobby, like you, in my 50's and like you it scares the s**t out if me.

But I can not imagine my life without a boat.

Stop worrying about worrying mate. You are not alone!
 
Have followed your suggestion Laundryman and updated my profile. Although my boat is in Dunkerque so not so likely that there will be many reading this. But you never know.

It is interesting that a number of people have similar feelings. As I said before for me it is a confidence issue, but I have always thought confidence comes from experience. It is a relief to know I am not the only one.
 
Apprehension...sail cover off knowing its going to be 2 reefs an anything not nailed down will soon make the saloon look like the ISS

Fear...the fog bank...the mayday call you've just heard...the "oh no engine, not here, not now" moment...the "what the hell was that bang" moment

Excitement...Land-Ho, or that delicious moment when the Moth is north of 20kts but you're foiling a bit too high and the rudder is sounding like its starting to ventilate...
 
prv said:
Apparently I'm weird because most of the time I don't worry.

Should I worry about that? :)

Pete
Click to expand...

Only if you feel you cant control the strategy to achieve your objectives.
 
I think the reason for sailing has changed, for me, over time.
When I was a youngster, dinghy sailing, it was because I had found something that I could do well, that was exciting and that put me in charge of my own destiny for a few hours.
In my early twenties, chartering RNSA cruising boats, it was the camaraderie of the group of friends I sailed with plus the swagger of walking round a strange port in yellow wellies.
Late twenties in our own little cruiser it was the sheer adventure of learning to handle our own boat and getting away for weekends.
Thirties in a slightly bigger trimaran (26ft) the thrill of speed and joy at the dinghy like handling, then the fun of teaching a youngster how to sail, row a dinghy, play on a beach or search in rock pools. The near terror of getting across the channel for the first time and the immense sense of achievement when we got home after a successful cruise.
Forties/early fifties a slightly bigger catamaran (32ft) another youngster to teach, but now the boat was my way of getting away from the pressures of life ashore. When on the boat nothing else mattered, I did not think about work/money/house from the moment we got aboard till we were back home again.
Later fifties/sixties kids going own way so down to a slightly smaller monohull. Now we enjoy arriving places, meeting up with friends and sitting watching the world go by. The easier the sailing the better we like it, although I still sometimes go out alone and thrash to windward occasionally just for the fun of it. Now retired, I even enjoy the maintenance and tea hut at the club boatyard.
I realise one thing I have always enjoyed and that is working out the strategy to try to outwit the wind/currents/depth/time/race competitors etc.
There really is a lifetime of enjoyment to be had from sailing.
 
interesting replies. I too get that feeling before casting off, and for a while, until we get out a bit. but it is so much less now I am sailing our own boat, and not my dad's - think I spent a lot of time worrying about damaging his (bought new 1973) as opposed to ours (40yrs old, and not as much sentimental value - yet!)

reckon (as above) you always need a bit of "what if" and having plan b,c,d etc :-)
 
I found 4 stages of worry,
First when sitting in the marina listening to the wind whistling in the rigging- leads to getting " marina bound"
Second when just outside getting sails up- a recipe for problems as not yet in tune with the sea
Third when getting sails down - especially when getting rough ---as mentioned earlier in another post
Fourth when entering a new port- not entirely sure of the way in or where to go
There is sometimes a fifth - if it gets up rough when under way
& a sixth---- when i get the bill & wonder where the money is coming from
Apart from that the thrill of sailing & the pure thrill of actually arriving where i intended to go over rides all the worry & fear
I can still remember arriving in Ostend for the first time in 1969 --as if it was yesterday -- having wandered aimlessly, lost, around the north sea for 30 hours & the exhilaration makes me want to go on doing it for as long as i can ( not the getting lost bit though!)
 
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I'm usually too busy to worry before a passage - preparing the boat, getting the latest forecast, reviewing the plan, etc.

But the level of worry/anxiety/fear must surely depend on a mix of factors:

* The boat - how small/large, lightweight/heavy, etc - and therefore the feeling of in/security?
* The location - a harbour which gives straight out onto the big sea, or tucked three miles up a sheltered river giving out onto inshore waters for the next three hours before finally giving out onto the sea (eg the Solent)?
* The passage and the weather - Hamble to Cowes in a NW3, or Needles to Alderney in a WSW5?
* The crew - single/short-handed with an inexperienced hand, or a strong experienced mate and crew?

Having a goal each season helps enormously:

Six years ago it was getting my young family safely around the Solent in my 27-footer.
Three years ago it was getting my ass safely across the Channel and back (same yacht).
Two years ago it was teaching myself to singlehand, and to anchor with confidence.
Last year it was to get my ass safely and with pleasure down to the West Country and back (still same yacht).
This year it is to get over to the Channel Islands and cruise them and North Brittany for a month before heading back to pay for it all (same yacht, same ass).
In future years, Ireland beckons, as does the East Coast, Holland, The Baltic, etc.
One day, maybe, I'll sail my weary ass across an ocean...
 
Pmkc said:
This an important issue for me right now.

I am in my third year of owning a yacht, although its only 27ft built in 1970s I have developed a growing anxiety about taking the boat out. What is so puzzling for me is that since I have owned the boat I have sailed singlehanded on most trips without any serious incidents. I did not manage to sail much last year due to weather and other reasons so I guess lack of experience is the main problem. I think the main concern for me is not having the ability to control the boat under sail alone, always thinking what would I do if the engine packed up now!

I do not have any sailing friends or relatives to act as mentors and coming to sailing at age 55 I seem to find everyone I meet has been sailing since about 10 years of age.

Anyway I am now wondering if I should just sell the boat and be done with it.
Click to expand...

You've correctly identified your weakness, so now you can work on it. Go out with an instructor for a couple of days, and practice doing everything under sail alone. That will improve your confidence no end!

Your second concern is also rectifiable: join a club and go out on their rallies. If there aren't any clubs in Dunkirk, then join the Cruising Association (Channel Section). You'll soon find encouragement and support, and you'll wonder why you didn't join a club earlier.

Cheers
 
Thanks for your advice Babylon.

Your probably right in that a few days concentrating on the areas of main concern for me would be very helpful.

There is a local sailing school, but maybe a UK instructor would be preferable if I could find some one willing to travel to Dunkirk. As always it comes down to what I can afford.


Will look into the CA idea.
 
capnsensible said:
I reckon a healthy respect for the sea plus a bit of 'stage fright' makes for a better sailor.
Click to expand...
I remember the TV programme with RKJ, John Simpson & Ranulph Fiennes when they were about to head off to do a quick rounding of the Horn.

Novak, the paid skipper, had caught some spider crab (I think) & they had a lunch stop to eat. Simpson & Fiennes tucked in to the food while RKJ stood to one side and didn't seem to join in.

I said to my wife that he had that apprehensive look one gets when you're about to embark on a possibly daunting/difficult passage. He knew what could come - Simpson & Fiennes had no comprehension.

Of course, I could have misinterpreted it completely and he just didn't like crab :o :D
 
Tradewinds said:
I remember the TV programme with RKJ, John Simpson & Ranulph Fiennes when they were about to head off to do a quick rounding of the Horn.

Novak, the paid skipper, had caught some spider crab (I think) & they had a lunch stop to eat. Simpson & Fiennes tucked in to the food while RKJ stood to one side and didn't seem to join in.

I said to my wife that he had that apprehensive look one gets when you're about to embark on a possibly daunting/difficult passage. He knew what could come - Simpson & Fiennes had no comprehension.

Of course, I could have misinterpreted it completely and he just didn't like crab :o :D
Click to expand...

You're possibly right - except that surely one wouldn't wish to tackle a tiring passage on an empty stomach.

However, maybe he was just still reeling in astonishment from the fact that the BBC crew wouldn't let them light the gas stove without doing a full advance risk assessment!
 
Thanks for you replies everyone.
Reading them it seems I am pretty normal in this respect.
I too have known 'marina freeze'
My boat is small so I have to be realistic about what I can achieve, although I know I would give up before it would (an old sailors refrain)
One advantage of having your own boat is that I know it's condition (or think I do) which gives me more confidence and I know it's little ways (single line reefing and won't bear away without the jib)
 
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