Never - let a woman on a boat

[iangrant]

I did, two weeks away with a mate and his wife - nay not one woman but two! (and 4 children)

Some priceless Wife quotes:

No we're not moving it's nice here, the children like the beach!
There's no need to sail anywhere else!
I want the rotary airer on one of the sticky up bits on the side (stanchion)
I need to take all these clothes- I might like to wear a dress.
Why can't I use the hairdryer in the front bathroom?
Why are you always filling up the water tanks?
Oh stop moaning, that red wine will come off the decks
I need to layout my makeup/lipstick/2 dozen bottles of conditioner/etc.... in the bathroom
Why can't the fridge door open from the front like normal ones?
Why can't we have a motor boat like that one, look at all the cushions for sunbathing?
(2 AM) Whats that squeaking?
(3AM) My feet are cold
(4 AM) Are you awake?
No, we'll catch the ferry home.

We has great fun really!

Ian


Centre parks - the holiday the weather can't spoil!
Sailing with mates - the holiday the wife can't spoil

 

[Guest]

I see someone trying to 'jimmy' up the postings !!!! Going for a reply record are we ??

 

[iangrant]

Come on Nige - lust 'cause you lost!!

'bout time you surfaced again!!

;-)

Ian

 

[Chris_Robb]

what about the stilleto heals

 

[iangrant]

Oh they get caught in the ear rings!

;-)

Ian

 

[Guest]

I'm working !!!!

I might have a bash at the all-time record !!! Lets see where did I leave my archives !!!!

 

[Chris_Robb]

sounds exiting wot you get up to . - Stilletos and earings - definitiley not a boat load of wrinklies
!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[billmacfarlane]

What I'd like to know Ian is how often do wear stillettoes and earrings on your boat ? And do you pinch your wifes or have a secret cache of your own ?

 

[Guest]

The one that always gets me .....

Do you HAVE to keep leaning the boat over like that !

or

Just as I get used to leaning one way, you HAVE to change and lean the OTHER way .....

or

do we have to have all this string lying around ....

or

you don't expect ME to sit in that little boat to get ashore do you ....

or

Why can't we PARK over there ?

or at 4 o'clock in the morning ....

how do you work the loo ?

or

the loo thingy doesn't seem to working

And finally ......

I wish I hadn't had that last glass of wine ..........

 

[iangrant]

Answer - Whenever no one is looking, I thought we all had to dress like that. Well that's what my instructor said!

Pinched wives, couldn't give her away! She came back the other night with £95.50 I asked her who gave her 50p, she replied "all of them"

Ian

 

[bedouin]

Re: All time record?

No chance - things aren't what they used to be

Over on BYM one thread has just grown to 105 postings in just over a day - the same posting over here didn't generate a single reply

 

[nicho]

On a boat all last week with four others, including one woman - she kept blocking the loo with panty liners - nice!!

 

[david_e]

Re: All time record?

which one is that then?

 

[hillyarder]

priceless wife quote

they say some silly things. so do i. but she also says fancy an early night.

 

[Forbsie]

That's the first time I've seen that joke in decimal money. /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif

<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.arweb.co.uk/argallery/forbsie>My Project Pics</A>

 

[classworks]

Thanks for the humour.
It is the only way.
Six years fighting magnetite
Or hiding it with some epoxy shtuff.
Driving down to Mylor through the night
She's back in and floating more or less upright
Yes, I agree, the tinkling halliards do add a certain something in the twilight.
'couldn't sleep? Yes alright, we will go home as soon as it gets light.

Okay they're crummy lines but I just thought it would help.

 

[Guest]

Re: priceless wife quote

The funny thing is on a boat ....unless a party or other 'drinking session' interferes ... early nights seem to be on the cards !!!! So maybe it has its compensations !!

 

[Guest]

Returns ??

Guy caught speeding ... police say if original reason .. I'll let you go ....

Guy says wife ran of with Police Officer ... I saw your car with blue flashing light and thought you were trying to give her back !

 

[Guest]

Re: All time record?

Could be something to do with - see what topic generates the most responses ??????

 

[Celena]

Personaly, I wouldn't go sailing without a woman, but then I like women more than sailing...