Help Required - very boaty

[claymore]

Things are very busy at work and I have little time before the weekend. I'd be so grateful if fellow forum members would help by producing a passage plan for me for the coming weekend. It needs to start and end at Loch Melfort and the tides are around lunchtime each day, give or take an hour or two.
I wouldn't bother normally but I will be sailing in the company of a Yachtmaster and also a World-Girdler so I'd like to impress them.
Also, could someone rustle up a grub list of what I should be serving to such revered company.
Finally - could anyone suggest whether I ought to be anchoring at night, in which case I'll have to get some oil for the lamp or whether it would be acceptable to tie up to the odd pontoon - and whilst we are on that - should I just do the fenders and get the tea on or do you think they'll expect me to help?

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[sailbadthesinner]

i'd get the boat out the water asap
and hand them a paint brush a tool kit and a list of jobs.

<hr width=100% size=1><font color=red>I can't walk on water, but I do run on Guinness</font color=red>

 

[tcm]

Why would you need any help?

You can ask the yachtmaster what his passage plan is for the weekend, and make all shocked if he hasn't done one already. Then direct him to the pilots and charts, "though I expect you yachtmasters have got all the tide tables stored away in your brains hm? I know my grandpa did!" tellim you'll be in the pub ready to buy him a drink as soon as he's ready and happy with the boat's equipment.

Then, suggest the circumnavigator takes over completely ("I expect you've been here dozens of times, hm?") as soon as you leave the pontoon. Go down below and produce cups of tea. You can make cooking the dinner (aka mostly lounging about down below avoid hard work on deck) last for ages if you get a pan and burn some onions first cos it always smells like Proper Food is on its way.



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[longjohnsilver]

Take em round Britain, I'm sure that would impress.

Pot noodles and Fray Bentos pies, several hundred of each, plus maybe a black pudding or two just in case you bump into HLB.

Hope this helps.

BTW quite a novelty having a busy lecherer, still I spose there's a first for everything ;-))

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[Ohdrat]

Re: How about the Corryvreckan then?

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[jimi]

I haf sum ideas zat mae be ov ze help! Ensure zat ure gezts are fed and lickered. Get zem to a hastelry az zune az prakticabale.Noon ov zem midges! Nae rain and a shedlode of sun. Get zem to Toblerone,Strontian and Muck and you vill haf dun vell!

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[Twister_Ken]

The Passage Plan

"Ah yes, gentleman. The passage plan. Thought we'd pop out, look at the weather (can't trust the forecasts up here, you know, we're a long way from Bracknell), then hang a left or a right depending on which way the wind and tide are going. See where we get to, and anchor for the night if the weather's settled, or find a pontoon or a mooring if it looks a bit iffy. Bit of walking the next day, so I hope you've got your boots. Then back on Monday. Suit everybody? Good. Ok, if you'd like to sail her out, I'll start slicing the lemon and get the ice cubes.

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[claymore]

Re: The Passage Plan

Thats the one for me
fancy coming along Ken?

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[claymore]

It was all going so well, right up to the last line.
Well, let me tell you this you parrot dropping encrusted blackamore, its only the distance thats between us that keeps you safe. Dear Heart has designs on a summer or two in the south so should we ever venture that way, my bow chasers will be being filled with a round or two of grapeshot and midges and I'll be looking for you - and there'll be sand in the vaseline.

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[Twister_Ken]

Yee-hah!

Kind offer, but as long as the travel lift hasn't broken down, this'll be my first weekend back in the water.

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[claymore]

Re: Yee-hah!

Where do you plan to go to then in your travel lift?HAs the Twister gone? Are you now going to be called Travel lift Ken? - has it bilge keels, will it be able to take the ground? have you done a CG66 and passage plan?....so many questions

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[jimi]

Travel Lift

What's its Stix ratio?

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[Twister_Ken]

Re: Yee-hah!

Travel lifts have not made it to Scotland yet - I hear you are still using cabers as rollers to get boats in and out of the water.

"Just have another three bowls of porridge and lorne sausage, then heave away, bonny lads!"

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[Twister_Ken]

Re: Travel Lift

It's the GTI model; 0-6 mph in only 3 minutes.

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[Aja]

Re: Yee-hah!

Twister_Ken

Who let slip about our National delicacy? Lorne sausage, burnt within an inch of its life in a crusty roll and heaps of the sauce of your choice (brown for me) MMMMmmmm!

My sister-in-law in Tob insists on a slab each time we make an appearance.

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[Aja]

Hmm I smell a rat here....
Jimi posts that he is going up to the NW of Scotland... not exactly Loch Melfort... a YM..

Now, if only we could prove that Claymore was cantakerous; old or feral.

Donald

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[sailbadthesinner]

Re: Lorne sausage??

oh i thought the place i had breakfast in troon was taking the p* out of the englishm
ehat you describes is exactly what i got in a roll when asking for a sausage sandwich. what does it taste like, i ended up swapping it for a bacon one.

<hr width=100% size=1><font color=red>I can't walk on water, but I do run on Guinness</font color=red>

 

[Aja]

Re: Lorne sausage??

Real connisuers (?) usually have a roll, lorne sausage with potato scone and if they are feeling particularly peckish a black pudding - this can be viewed every morning prior to races and regattas such as the Scottish Series or West highland Week.

Come to think of it - no wonder we are a cantakerous lot - can a european stomach cope with such a diet? 'Specially washed down with coloured sugared water - sorry the (other) national drink 'Irn Bru'

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[Twister_Ken]

Re: Lorne sausage??

>what does it taste like<

Pink haggis fat, flavoured with a little pork brawn and a soupçon of beef dripping.

<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.scotsmeat.com/acatalog/info_BF036.html> picture, not for squeamish</A>

<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.rampantscotland.com/recipes/blrecipe_sliced.htm>recipe for DIY fans</A>



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[sailbadthesinner]

Re: eeeeeeeeeeeewch

how glasgow ever got city of culture is still beyond me

<hr width=100% size=1><font color=red>I can't walk on water, but I do run on Guinness</font color=red>