Fear? Nerves? Stress related? Irrational? Advise/guidance please

[AdeOlly]

Our first petrol boat was so horribly unreliable (it even caught fire once) that the mere thought of taking it off the berth would bring me out in a cold sweat and the shakes, even after all the main problems had been fixed. Only solution for me was to dump it and buy a boat that worked, and get several days training, both in a group and one-to-one, to re-build my confidence. This worked for me, and whilst I still get a little bit of healthy departure nerves they vanish almost immediately we're underway and the cold sweats are a distant memory.

 

[Alrob]

If its any help I always get anxious when we head home to the marina not knowing if I am going to make a pigs ear of berthing and I have been boating for 20 years ( I bet there is a name for this syndrome)

 

[AdeOlly]

Funnily enough I don't get nervous about the return leg of a trip or berthing the boat. I always fender both sides of the boat really well and go slow, so little chance of damage if I cock it up. Its also unlikely I'll ever make a hash up as big as those I made in my first boat when reverse would stick and the engine stall randomly at tickover /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

 

[David_J]

As many have said, a lot of people feel the same, myself included. It is perhaps a question of degree or severity. We had a failed injector pipe in the middle of the Solent with gallons of diesel swilling around in the bottom, power cable fell off the engine just after leaving the fuel pontoon on the Hamble, steering wheel came off half way from Brighton to Gosport, all in the first 60 hrs on a new boat. Put me right off, but spoke to loads of people incl the famous Kim on here and persevered. Personally I think a certain apprehension can be a good thing. Its a respect for the situation and the forces around us and it helps keep us safe. I used to fly a lot, mostly gliders, and almost always felt some level of nerves before flying. I was part owner of a glider untill one day one of the syndicate members wrote it off because he did not bother to do the full pre-flight checks!! He was a test pilot on jets and full Cat gliding instructor and was just so confident he failed to follow the basics and paid the price, fortunately walking away from the wreck. A bit of caution or concern is good and for me it is so much outweighed by the sheer pleasure and freedom of boating that its worth it.

 

[BrendanS]

A more pragmatic approach might be to let some of the forumites from these parts take you out on your boat or their boat, and show you how enjoyable it can be. No stress to you if you are on their boat particularly, but taking your boat out would take away loads of pressure on you

 

[dalex]

Reading your post was like it came from me, but more eloquently put!
Every time I approach the pontoon, or lock the car in the marina car park, the cold dread descends. I think it is the weight of responsibility on me, and my duty of care to my crew, plus the very real strong memories of the last mistake I made, and how I got out of that one by the skin of my teeth. There is a lock between me and open water, and it has been my nemesis since buying the boat. A couple of incidents where the wind got the better of me, underline that almost nausious feeling. Rushing through things, in the hope I can get myself so busy that it overwrites the dread doesn't help as I make silly mistakes and forget to do important things.
I too thought of packing it all in, and taking up something else, but I spent a lot of time and effort getting the boat reliable, and stubbornness tells me I didn't go through all that for someone else to have the easy life I wanted. So, I shall set off determinedly out away from my berth, and ignore the imagined guffaws of humiliation from the lock-keepers, and just do it. Hell, if it all turns out not to be for me, it won't be because I didn't give it my best shot.
But on the trip where the sea is like glass, the lobster pots are easily avoided, I have 2 full tanks of gas-oil and that irresistable whistle pipes up from the turbos, man, you can't beat that feeling!
Whilst there are more sea-miles of experience on this hallowed forum, I believe there are many of us here, not so old, or bold (well, just the bold bit for me) and maybe some shared encouragement would make all the diference. How about it old guard? Fancy giving us newbies some words of encouragement together with some really practical tips?

 

[BrendanS]

You only have to ask. I've not seen a serious post yet that hasn't had a sensible reply or two. You have to ask specific questions though. ASking how to go boating will get you nowhere. Asking how to enter a lock or single hand, or how to cope with single handing in bad wind conditions in a lock in a single engined 21' boat will have far more responses, as they will understand your questions. More detail the better.

Dougie has other issues, and I'm sure that a few sessions with someone that knows the area would help alleviate many of the issues, particularly if they took him out in his own boat.

 

[DIW]

Doug
This post unfortunately won't solve the problem for you but I admire you for
making your fears and concerns public on this Forum. You are not alone. The interesting thing for me is that very many of us obviously have the same fears and worries about boating,imagined that we were the only ones to suffer, and were reluctant to seek advice due to possible ridicule. But as the thread to your post shows 'a problem shared is a problem halved'

 

[DAKA]

Even the silly ones have points to make that I will spell out if missed /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif


When cruising with friends it is easy to sink an extra bottle of wine or two and arising for an 0530 start is going to be affected.

Diet too can cause sickness

Always have something to eat before departure, the feeling of hunger can set off sickness.

 

[FullCircle]

Dougie, come out on a raggie for a day/weekend. The terminal boredom will shock you back onto yours in no time.
But seriously, if you want to come out without the worry and have a chat, give us a call.

 

[Wiggo]

Ah, we're kinda the other way round. Never worry too much about leaving (unless it's a long trip to somewhere new), but we have a bitch of a berth to get back into in any kind of wind, so there's always an element of butt pucker as we leave the lock inbound...

 

[Lakesailor]

I would think it's just a matter of degree, but most people get a bit edgy or more concerned before setting off. My sailing all happens on a lake so I don't have anything much to worry about, but I have had a dreadful Honda outboard which would cut out without warning and sometimes wouldn't restart.
Even though I have sails, so the motor isn't a great issue, I didn't have any confidence in the motor and would always have a plan B ready.

James Hunt was famous for throwing up before races and many competitive people suffer the same way.
I used to rally, in a small way, and noticed that I became a bit trance-like before the start. That would go as soon as we were off, but if the cause is something like your motor problem, it's always there nagging.

Can't advise you one way or the other, but I wouldn't force the matter as you will probably end up giving up altogether. I would have thought the advice you've already had to use your boat inland would be the best. If it behaves well from now on you'll get your confidence in it back. If you change boats it'll always be in the back of your mind.

 

[dalex]

[ QUOTE ]
You have to ask specific questions though.


[/ QUOTE ]
I quite understand. The old scout motto of 'be prepared' is probably the best advice, so plan for the worst, but hope for the best tends to get the warm fuzzy assuredness working. I firmly believe that it's all about getting out and doing it. I feel I am in a very priviledged position being able to get the chance to be involved in this complicated, unreliable, uncomfortable scary environment that seems designed to knock any small flash of smugness off my mush any chance it gets - to realise it's us that are doing it, and overcoming the above to delight in the detail, the challenge, exciting, and incredible teamsmanship that follows.
Ok then, so how would you single-hand a 305 statesman into a wide, windy lock with barely a boats width between wall and pontooned boats? Would you go for a centre line from the flybridge, or a stern line with a bit of outer engine to push the bow in whilst you take the bow line round the pipe?
I know what won't happen again though!

 

[Dave_Snelson]

I am always a litle "edgy" before we set off. Don't know why as I love my hobby and my love of CI worries SWMBO!

Going diving underneath her (I mean the boat!) this weekend (aha! - we dive at 5!) to check out the copper antifoul, so I'll be back with a report.

Don't give up Dougie You have a forum full of MoBotherapists to help you through! /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[Dave_Snelson]

Dunno if I qualify as "old guard" but we can't help you anyway as we suffer from the same thing /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[Kawasaki]

Dougie My Son don,t give up ,your almost there,
Take Her out again you,l love it I swear,
One bottle gone two more to go!
Get back on board and give it a throw,
Forget the nerves forget the stress,
Turn that key two fingers to the rest,
Get back on board you know its best,
A decent trip a loveley cruise,
Then back on The Forum with all the news,
Perfect departure spot on berthing,
What the heck was all that soul searching?
Pulse might quicken heart may quiver,
It,s too soon to sell yourself down The River,
Back in the briney back in the boat,
Don,t give up now you silly old---- !


Matey as others have said were all a bit twitchy out there.
Tiss only natural,as you say your lovely boat seems sorted and is waiting for you.

Why der think we call em She,s?.
Cos there bleedin Female and they wind you up but once you sort em out, ther,e not bad really are they? /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif

SHMBO said to me the other day "Why you always down the boat"? "Fettling says I"

"Why does She always need fettling"? Says She "Cos She,s the bleedin same as you!" Says I!

Anyway She had a good "fettling" that night.
So did the boat! /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[Neddie_Seagoon]

Without Lakesailoring, can I reinforce Brendan's reply? Get someone you trust to skipper your boat for a while, go out with them for the ride and helm a bit when you feel like it. I'm sure you'll soon come to the point where you start wanting to do the more challenging bits again and the fear starts to diminish.

Don't sell the boat unless you've totally lost confidence in it.

Steve

 

[KCook]

I wonder if Martyn didn't hit on the difficulty?

"I will confess though that we lost all confidence in our last boat after three outdrive failures and the only reason we are boating this year is because we changed boats."

My first boat had an impossible motor. Ended up selling the boat, even though it finally was running fine. Simply couldn't bear to be around the *&^%$# thing anymore.

Next boat was a completely different type of boat (easy to do on inland waters) and I was much, much happier with it. Huge relief.

Kelly Cook