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Guest
Guest
Example One: There is a Thames lock keeper not a million miles from Staines who does like his daily fix of bureaucracy. Been on the receiving end of one such outburst – Boat name near the bow but not on it as per byelaw such and such, section such and such. Anyway a few weeks ago it was payback time. Of the six boats in the lock four had not names or identification whatsoever. Asked how come – the response was straightforward ‘they are visitors; they are not required to have identification or Boat Safety Certificates. Asked to explain why Thames boat owners have to spend the thick end of £100 to prove they are ‘safe’ while visiting craft have to prove nothing, its was suddenly time to check on the Summer Assistant. Could it be ‘we’ can’t ask too much of visitors being the nice little earner they are, but its well worth scamming the ‘residents’
Example Two: Unlicensed craft, aware of at least three large (30ft +) ‘craft’ belonging to River Gipsies – oops sorry, do apologise, River Travellers within a mile of each other I mentioned them to a EA staff member, not any old member, a ‘two ringer with briefcase’ no less – response ‘I’m sure that’s not the case our revenue collection is very thorough’ - oh dear I wonder which optician he uses!
Not to be deterred I then mentioned it to an ‘Inspector Patrol’ – you know sunny afternoon, big flag, two crew, and stoic jobs worth expressions. This time they were in sight of an offender. Very polite ‘thank you’, obviously the ‘Charm Course’ made an impression and off they go in the opposite direction. Not to be outdone at the next lock I asked why the total lack of interest, and I quote ‘ Official HQ policy unless these people are seen navigating, note that word its important then leave them alone.' But they navigate late in the evening’ says I. ‘There you go then’ came the reply. I guess that’s the best you can expect when the ultimate boss is an ex shipboard bed maker. Although I am told he has moved to a new mooring.
Example Two: Unlicensed craft, aware of at least three large (30ft +) ‘craft’ belonging to River Gipsies – oops sorry, do apologise, River Travellers within a mile of each other I mentioned them to a EA staff member, not any old member, a ‘two ringer with briefcase’ no less – response ‘I’m sure that’s not the case our revenue collection is very thorough’ - oh dear I wonder which optician he uses!
Not to be deterred I then mentioned it to an ‘Inspector Patrol’ – you know sunny afternoon, big flag, two crew, and stoic jobs worth expressions. This time they were in sight of an offender. Very polite ‘thank you’, obviously the ‘Charm Course’ made an impression and off they go in the opposite direction. Not to be outdone at the next lock I asked why the total lack of interest, and I quote ‘ Official HQ policy unless these people are seen navigating, note that word its important then leave them alone.' But they navigate late in the evening’ says I. ‘There you go then’ came the reply. I guess that’s the best you can expect when the ultimate boss is an ex shipboard bed maker. Although I am told he has moved to a new mooring.
