Colin has left for the med

[Guest]

Colin + lovely Mrs C came down to our boat for a few days. The last I saw of them was in Nice airport seeing us off because their flight (he said) was later in the day. He said it was just like boating in the Gt Ouse, except more olives and fewer pubs. One night he started on about knocking sticks into the riverbank and tying his boat up to them, and we all had a good laugh, but apparently it's all true! Later, Colin started washing the boat, and so did Mrs C too! After only two days on board they couldn't stop themselves from making a cup of tea and buying biscuits. Riverboaty people are strange aren't they?



x

 

[hlb]

You did'nt get all the wise cracks reserved for me then Matt.
Suppose you've got flowers on the table now though and
a doddy dog in the back window.

 

[Guest]

Cor it were reet grand lad. Now we know why you go out to sea. You can go to There or There without going to There or There first. See on the river, if we want to go There, we always have to go past There first, 'cos it's a river and you can't miss out on places, but down with Matt, we went all sorts of places without going anywhere twice. Gotit? And we even went to one place in the pouring rain with no viz, just on radar and didn''t even see anywhere else at all. And Matt gave me a nice new bright red hosepipe too 'cos it was the wrong colour and matched his eyes in the morning 'cos we did drink a little drop of vino and I loved it and want to go back NOW and forever. And we didn't take the p*** out of you at all when we were sitting in Nice or Antibes or somewhere talking about you battling it out with the Barron Knights and broken VP's, well maybe just a teensy bit. And it was fantastic and I loved it and definitely am happy to teach you how to moor up the Leopard when you get it and I'll even bring my own flower arrangement OK? PERLEASE?

 

[Guest]

Re: that med trip in full

Colin invited me on his boat, so I invited him on ours.

I somewhat cocked it up in the harbour whilst picking him up, altho I moored up on the wall eventually. But I made up for it by lashing about some champagne, so C forgot about it. Mrs C (actually she is called Chris) said there was loads of room in the boat. Then we had some more champagne.

Can't remember much after that, oh yes, we saw a massive boat with helicopter and loads of tenders including a 50 foot yacht. Honest! It was called le Grand Bleu.

We anchored off in Villefranche that night, but twas a bit wavy. We saw a massive catamaran called Moecca and my lad Lucas decided it would be a good idea to drive under it. Colin said yes, but I said no, then Colin sed no, and I sed yes and we went under it, but Luke was driving, not me, or Colin, so neither of us to blame.

I had a swim at 6 am. Colin + Chris were v wary of swimming cos that's man overboard innit? Then Lucas went off and drove under the catamaran again.

We moored up again in Nice. I lightly cocked up the mooring against the wall, but no damage, just slow as before. Colin a bit smug. Then we split up and wandered around Nice.

They told us to sod off in Antibes, no space for the night. We fuelled up and asked again, but same result. So we got the banana out, inflated it and then C completely in his element towing nutcase children (2) around the bay. Turns out the kids are actually quite good at hanging on, and we slash back to la Napoule with kids behind at around 20 knots, overtaking Sealine. And... we moored up stern-to in v tight space perfickly! Colin bit pisssed off that he can't take the mick after that one.

After dinner we all go window shopping for C's new boat which be this, ooh no this ooh no that well maybe this. Lots of drinks send us to bed.

The next day we go off to Cannes. Will that be OK? Well hmmm alright say crew, C+C getting blasé yawn Nice then blimmin Cannes. Lucas suggests that "next year we should go abroad!". Colin explains that this is abroad and L is spoilt brat, then gives him 20FF pocket money. L says he normally gets 50FF. All agree Lucas is spoilt ratbag, so he can clean up a bit, and he gets thrown in 5 times.

Back on the banana on the way home, then rescued a broken down boat, and again a perfick mooring. Long discussions as to whether the broken down boat was just saving petrol, or had rented, or was a bit of a git not coming round and saying nice thankyou. Then more window shopping of boats, drinks, more drinks, and er I'v probly missed the best bits.

Moral: Colin knows how to visit someone else's boat:
1. Clear off from time to time, a bit, to givem a breather
2. If there are children, give the little shitbags a quid or two.
3. Tidy up, a bit, but not so much it show you think they are complete slobs.
4. If at sea, put the fenders away. (and, as I now understand, if on river, don't put fenders away at all)
5. Buy lots of lighters, even if your host nicks them, or yours explodes.

An excellent trip involving only minor smashing of kit (anchor which I tested when down a bit too hard) and rescue of nearly-lost kit (goggles in 5metres). So Colin +C will hopefully come down and teach us how to waterski, and how to moor up against a worryingly big concrete wall, and how to make tea. But we'll stay smug about our clever stern-to mooring of a 15m x4m boat from a 15m fairway into 4.5m width space (twice) without touching anything, and dealing 4 sevens from the top of a pack of cards having first moved one of the sevens to the middle of the pack.

















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[jfm]

Re: further and better particulars please

1. You have a stern thruster thingy, right?
2. The bit about kids sailing under cat Moecca, are we talking the tender or the full T48 mothership? If the latter then suggest you stop all money to the shitbag (your words, un peu harsh n'est ce pas?) to get him to kick habit before Leopard arrives, else find some bigger cats
3. In Antibes before being kicked out did you perchance see Unplugged (aforementioned 34m job) and can you give a boat/pot noodle report? I'm off there soon I hope
4. What's wiv this SWALK X at the end of your messages, plse edit, yuk.
5. Was that the 5-sevens-in-the-deck deck of cards?
5. Non of above frivolities occurred during my old fashioned sail in S.Ireland last week, but having bla-bla-ed on very smugly about high tech speed camera detectors I got frikkin nicked by a plod last night on way home from Stansted airport doing 73 in a 60 so tres pissed off.

JFM

 

[Guest]

Re: further and better particulars please

1. No, no stern thrusters, no excuses
2. Tender only thru Moecca. Shitbag fully Simpsons-literate so calls me much worse, the little %$£!!
3. Failed to find Unplugged, but it's not going to be too crap is it now? And anyway, what could I have done? " Oh scuse me capting just need to rummage about cos an e-friend is wondering if this is a dump" And you said it was in Cannes before! Full report expected. Bet the hull isn't fabulous dark-blue+white marbled-painted like one visitor to la Napoule tho. I'm sure Unplugged rings a bell re Boat Int etc so trawl a bit?
4. Didn't know how that bit worked, now edited, sorry.
5. Yes, plus pre-sort of other 4, plug magic banging table with pack bullshit.
6. Dang!

 

[Guest]

Re: Blimey, Colin and jfm, unplugged=parsifal

I just slapped "yacht Unplugged" into yahoo.com and it seems that Parsifal and Unplugged are sisterships! Colin and I saw/gawped Parsifal in la Napoule and it's so big and fab that even when it sounded as tho they smashed something on the dinghy, they couldn't hear it indoors, and that even after gawping Leopard 27 with lots of lights. Colin wants to know why it has a red all-round light at night too. So you might not be noticed as a guest, jfm, you lucky blimmin etc etc etc.

 

[jfm]

Re: Red lights on tall structures

Colin the red light is to warn aircraft approaching Nice airport about height of the mast.

JFM

 

[Guest]

Re: Red lights on tall structures

Thanks jfm, I've just had a big key bolted to my head so you can wind me up easier. I reckon the red light is for that age old profession. After all they've got to earn the charter money somehow?

 

[jfm]

Re: Red lights and gratuities Col\'s cracked it

Hmmm....as you can see on this thread Matts and I were speculating unsuccessfully how you can justify a $14k gratuity. But if they include THOSE kind of ....ahem....extras sir (as well as the 10 G+Ts, tender launches, abuse) that might just explain it, slurp.

JFM