Burns Night - Kangaroo court now in session

[Guest]

I put if to you, my learned MBC colleagues, that Burns Night is an affront against decency and good taste.

Why do large numbers of not-even-remotely-Scottish people celebrate the birthday of the world's worst poet? We should be celebrating July 21st, the day on which he died. Burns Night should involve burning volumes of poetry by Robert Burns, not eating sheep's intestines and spouting cr@p.

And onto the fire could go all those other abysmal Scottish things such as: tartan, deep-fried Mars bars, bagpipes, Alex Ferguson, first-footing, Carol Smilie, heather, Nessie, Mull of Kintyre, and Irn Bru.

Now that would be a burns night worth celebrating.

So, nominations please for other Scottish things to consign to the flames...

 

[hlb]

Haggis, Nick Robinson. (Well you'll have to after this). Deap fried meat pies, silly accent, mist, fog, rain, snow.

Haydn

 

[BarryD]

Disagree

Being half Scottish I wear a kilt and Burns night is a great excuse to hold a big dinner party and generally get drunk. ALSO is birthday of short person so can't be all bad as I get to play with his new train set today...

Barry D

 

[peterg]

Kangaroo court nominations

that smugness that they have when they tell you "actually Scotsmen invented everything" (like TV, phones etc.)

Oh, and I second wholeheartedly the mist, rain, fog, snow etc.

 

[ParaHandy]

What you owe us jocks

Harrumph...you could chuck out the tyres on your car, the telephone, the telly, thermos flask, anaesthetic (tho' I'd permit it be kept for you), kaleidoscope (oh, yes), vacuum cleaner (not Hoover but Hubert Booth's invention), quantum theory of physics....

I could with little encouragement, go on and on and on.....

 

[tcm]

Totally agreed.

I wil happily oversee the burning of most of the labour MP's and government ministers, most of whom will probably go up very nicely with their beards and sweaty suits, although the glass eyed one that we aren't allowed to be nasty about may have soee spare parts left over.

As already mentioned, other Scottish stuff invariably shite and can be disposed in (newly) traditional way of Burning: songs, speech, Harris tweed, Paisley patterns, Paisley, thistles (now that really is crap, having a flaming weed as the national flower), that square faced useless David Coulthard and anyone else with St Andrew (they made him up!) flag. Also the flag itself is a bit cheap and looks like they nicked it from a school.

Would advise caution with flames, as all that gas and oil wil be handy. However, it's quite low quality and not as good as in the USA where there's Top Fuel, which sounds loads faster.

If that Anne Robinson had had a pop at the Scottish lot instead of the welsh, no problem. Not that the welsh are a lot better, but at least they aren't arsey about leekss, don't wear skirts, and seem very happy to share/shear their sheep. sorry.

Er does this mean that you're getting rid of that Balvenie?

 

[hlb]

Errr. Sorry to but in.
Just testing my new picy.

Haydn

 

[BarryH]

Rab C Nesbitt, cos he talks the way haydn spells, and i can't understand either of em!

 

[byron]

Well I am going to a Burns Night tonight at my local and again tomorrow night at the Upper Thames Motor Yacht Club where I shall tuck heartily into Haggis and listen intently as some geezer in a frock addresses the Haggis.
As a Greek it is my bounden duty to support night after all we gave them the Kilt and the Bagpipes.

ô¿ô

 

[tcm]

Re: What you owe us jocks

Nope, inventions irrelevant. Most of them would have been invented shortly after by someone else, qv current "bio-race" and so forth. Exceptions being haggis, bagpipes and dancing over sharp swords whilst pissed. Actually, cancel that last one ...

 

[Falcon71]

Re: Byron\'s piccy

Byron, your piccy ahhh!! sweet

 

[Guest]

Sorry, I forgot Scotch eggs. What the hell are they for? Ammo in food-fights, but fit for nothing else.

But there are, obviously, a few good Scotch things...Balvenie (and a few other single malts), Billy Connolly, John Hannah, Inspector Rebus, Celtic, um...

 

[tcm]

Re: not

No, we'll kep the balvenie, Billy connolly can go, there are thousands just like him in every glasgow bar.

 

[Dave_Snelson]

How about ripping up the M6 north of Gretna Green and using the rubble to rebuild Hadrian's wall. Now thats what I call CIVIL engineering. (He He He).

NICE picky by the way!!

 

[Dave_Snelson]

Re: What you owe us jocks

.......amply paid for by the £9 billion subsidy that you receive each year from Westminster

 

[Guest]

Keep Bill McClaren

I would offer banning any replays of the 2000 Eng. vs. Scot. rugby union match at Murrayfield when England squandered a doomed game in the freezing rain. The Sweaties won 12-9 , the match was dreadful and I lost US$500. So bin Murrayfield altogether, but keep Bill McClaren who retires this year after 50 yrs in the game ".... and Condom peels off round the scrum, 15 stoooones on the hoof! Aye, they'll be a dancing in the streets of Biarritz toneet, I can tell yae".

 

[Deleted User YDKXO]

Motion passed unanimously in my case. Also consigned to Room 101 would be
Any ex-patriate Scot(they're the worst especially the ones who've never been to Scotland)
Auld lang Syne (what the f*** does it mean, anyone?)
Rod Stewart
Tennents lager (any Scottish lager, in fact)
Bay City Rollers
Those stupid tartan caps with orange wigs under them
Pasting a Scottish flag on the back of your car
Sean Connery(for being a total hypocrite)
Holyrood parliament building for costing you and I £400m more than it should and the pompous gits in it
Anybody who say's it's our oil

 

[oldgit]

Err skotland mmm...just exactly where is that by the way?Nr watford ?

 

[BarryH]

Re: What \'bout.....

.......tossing the caber. Who the hell thought chucking telegraph poles would make a good form of sport......Only the scottish could think of that one

 

[hlb]

Went to the pub across the road last night. Burns Night. Pub half full, bar maids in kilts, Oh and kilts with sporons and a long penis hanging out! ( Is there some thing about Burns that I dont Know) Well dont know much about him except I think he wrote a few poems once. Huge amounts of hagis was brought out with boiled potatoes and swedes. About six people tried it, but then left half empy plates about.

Now a William Shakespere, Walter Raliegh night, Drake night. Or even a Winston Chirchill night I can understand, even a Maggie Thatcher night would have some relivance.
But who's this Burns bloke??

Haydn