Bigger house or bigger boat?

[Bertramdriver]

SWMBO wants to sell the boat and buy a bigger house. I want to sell the house and buy a bigger boat.
Am I being unreasonable? Divorce is not an option and daughter is looking for a serious deposit for her starter home.

 

[Jegs]

Bite the bullet - she'll get what she wants in the end.

John G

 

[maby]

SWMBO wants to sell the boat and buy a bigger house. I want to sell the house and buy a bigger boat.
Am I being unreasonable? Divorce is not an option and daughter is looking for a serious deposit for her starter home.

Personally, I'm with you on this one. You simply didn't ask the right questions before you got married - when we were doing some financial planning recently and looked at scenarios where we could not afford to run the boat, my SWMBO observed that if it came down to a choice between the house and the boat, the house would be on the market in a heartbeat - bless her!

 

[Koeketiene]

SWMBO wants to sell the boat and buy a bigger house.

Why?

I want to sell the house and buy a bigger boat.

Again: Why?

What's the reasoning of either of you?
If your daughter is saving for a deposit, it sounds like she's about to leave home. So why the bigger house?

Personally, we went down the smaller house - bigger boat route.

 

[Eyore]

Smaller house and bigger boat sounds like a better compromise all round.Failing that, same boat, smaller house, and deposit for daughter.That should concentrate SWMBO 's mind.

 

[tri39]

Exactly, you know where all the cash is going in the end! Downsizing property should be more popular at our age!!

 

[affinite]

Tricky dilema
Another option to consider ....
Spend the wifes pension on a bigger boat
I tried to convince her that a bigger boat was a better investment than her pension
After the swelling had died down we discussed it again and she agreed.

 

[Bertramdriver]

In my working life I was known as a tough negotiator. Now I'm just mincemeat when negotiating with SWMBO. What I wouldn't give for a shot of testosterone.
So this is the final score. The boat goes up for sale on my 70th birthday...three years away....and I didn't tell her that it will take 12 to 18 months to sell so I might get a bit more sea time. We're going to buy our final house / bungalow over this year on a par basis with what we have but in a more comfortable environment. Probably at the end of the runway!
Daughter gets the deposit on an agreement that on her next foray into marriage she has a prenup agreement on a what's mine stays mine basis.
What happened to women? When did they start taking over the world? I have to conclude that the whole "glass ceiling" had nothing to do with career cramp and everything to do with them not wanting to walk over us and let us look up their skirts.

 

[prv]

I have to conclude that the whole "glass ceiling" had nothing to do with career cramp and everything to do with them not wanting to walk over us and let us look up their skirts.

I once visited a Russian nightclub that had exactly that - a glass ceiling between the bar and the floor above. And yes, you could

Pete

 

[Cloven]

SWMBO wants to sell the boat and buy a bigger house. I want to sell the house and buy a bigger boat.
Am I being unreasonable? Divorce is not an option and daughter is looking for a serious deposit for her starter home.

We sold the house, downsized in the UK, kept the same boat and bought a holiday house in France about an hour from the boat. All happy

 

[charles_reed]

SWMBO wants to sell the boat and buy a bigger house. I want to sell the house and buy a bigger boat.
Am I being unreasonable? Divorce is not an option and daughter is looking for a serious deposit for her starter home.

Don't know your precise circumstances, but - the house will probably appreciate in value, the boat won't. Helping the daughter buy her house, won't do anything for you or your wife and anything you put into it could well be lost to you if she finds the wrong partner.

Appreciate that you'd enjoy a bigger boat and see no reason why your hard-earned cash should not be used as you want.
I had a similar situation and despite my wife's strongly-held opinions, she couldn't produce any objective reason why we shouldn't do as I wanted, so I went ahead.
I now spend six months a year on the boat (saving money compared to living in the UK) and she can join me, when she wants, and I spend the winter with her in the UK.

 

[ripvan1]

Well, without your good lady on the boat, you've got a bigger boat and without you in the house, she's got a bigger house - ? problemo, que problemo ?

 

[Bertramdriver]

Negotiation so far. Agreement that this house is more than bid enough for 2, so no move (unless she finds something irresistible on Rightmove) I have agreed to no new boat, and no more upgrades on the Bertram will happen beyond what is already underway (so no teak deck, front cabin refit and replacement of pilot house dash board or smart AC DC distribution boards) and the daughter will sign a prenup.
So peace now reigns supreme until the next smart house appears on Rightmove, and I tell SWMBO that I've already bought two sets of engine instruments, new trim tab controls switch, analogue rudder indicator and log, windless chain counter and oh windscreen washer controls. At least I'll get a break for a few weeks.
Do any of you out there have these problems?

 

[Koeketiene]

Do any of you out there have these problems?

Wife chose the boat. I was in charge of the refit. I don't tell her what it costs.

I chose the house. Wife's in charge of the restauration. I get to approve.

I pay for everything.

 

[Colvic Watson]

I chose the house. Wife's in charge of the restauration. I get to approve.

What sort of cuisine are you going for? I hear Middle East is on trend, though I prefer bangers and chips

 

[BobPrell]

Well, without your good lady on the boat, you've got a bigger boat and without you in the house, she's got a bigger house - ? problemo, que problemo ?

Well said Rip. Some folks might well say this marriage had failed in some way, but I would say that it has adapted to changing needs.

Congratulations Charles, I hope you are both enjoying.

 

[tri39]

Negotiation so far. Agreement that this house is more than bid enough for 2, so no move (unless she finds something irresistible on Rightmove) I have agreed to no new boat, and no more upgrades on the Bertram will happen beyond what is already underway (so no teak deck, front cabin refit and replacement of pilot house dash board or smart AC DC distribution boards) and the daughter will sign a prenup. Do any of you out there have these problems?

That's a sensible compromise. However you will still have to overturn/ignore this nonsense about selling the boat at 70!
It's a mobo for gawdsake, all you have to do is push buttons! Many skippers go from sail to power at a certain age!!!
I'm your age and I will continue sailing as long as poss. In fact I find sailing makes me fitter, lighter and more supple.
"A man needs a hobby, otherwise his hobby may be other women!" Who said that? Not me!

 

[Koeketiene]

What sort of cuisine are you going for? I hear Middle East is on trend, though I prefer bangers and chips

I hope present form continues: French/Belgian/Mediterranian cuisine.

 

[Arb]

What I wouldn't give for a shot of testosterone.

If your GP won't help then the guys at http://www.centreformenshealth.co.uk/ will sort that out for you.

And for techniques for dealing with the sometimes unreasonable demands of the fairer sex try Athol Kay - http://tinyurl.com/no6s34k

 

[rustybarge]

Quote Originally Posted by Bertramdriver View Post
SWMBO wants to sell the boat and buy a bigger house. I want to sell the house and buy a bigger boat.
Am I being unreasonable? Divorce is not an option and daughter is looking for a serious deposit for her starter home.

....if you buy a big enough boat it will be as big as a house. Those 24mtr Italian mini superyachts from the late 90's or early 2000's seem exceptional value at 250k, and when you take into consideration you will only have boat maintenance and no house costs to consider it may work out at about the same cost you have now with a boat and a house to run.

If you spend no more than 6 months in any country you will be offshore....no income tax to pay.