Beat it into them?

[Salty]

What do you do if your kids hate sailing? Anybody got any good advice on how to get them to enjoy being cold, wet and seasick? I'm thinking of giving up big boats altogether for a while and try to get them into dinghys - maybe that's the way to do it. Anything to stop the inexorable pull to ballet and ponies (and that's just the boy, ho ho).

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[qsiv]

I dont know!

The boy's just arent that bothered - they don't hate it but they dont miss it - except the beach trips.

My solution is to sell the cruising boat and go racing for a year or two - they might enjoy the speed thing - if they dont they can stay at home whilst I have some R&R.

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[Ohdrat]

The dinghy thing is definately the best bet.. that's why I'm sailing now... don't despair about the ponies.. I did that too.. now I seem to have achieved a pretty good compromise.. own boat and ride other people's horses (in return for some good deeds/forums/images/icons/wink.gif) in a couple of years time I might switch to own horse and other peoples boats...

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[longjohnsadler]

Two of the most expensive hobbies you can think of are horses and boats. Suggest they try
1) Darts
2) Pottery
3) Macrame
They'll thank you in the long run.

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[Gunfleet]

As they get further into their teens anything topless works. You know, topless snooker, topless darts. Topless dinghy racing. Worth a try.

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[longjohnsadler]

Yeh, probably works for you or me.
Anyone for topless macrame?

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[LadyInBed]

Send them on a weekend trip to Cherbourg with Jimi.

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[Joe_Cole]

Sell them, and use the money to buy a bigger boat.



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[Twister_Ken]

Sex

Find him/her* a boyfriend/girlfriend* who is a keen sailor.

*delete as appropriate

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.writeforweb.com/twister1>Let's Twist Again</A>

 

[hlb]

I had a simmilare problem. We had 25 holidays on the broads just to keep the kids happy. Then bought proper sea boat and another even better. Bet the two of them between them have ever saw either boat more than twice in twelve years.

<hr width=100% size=1> <font color=blue>No one can force me to come here.<font color=red> I'm a volunteer!!.<font color=blue>

Haydn

 

[Aeolus_IV]

I can't help thinking that combining Macrame and Sailing would be a bad thing.....

Jeff.

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[charles_reed]

Don\'t waste your time or energy

If they don't like it they don't like it, mine were the same and they now occasionally join me with partners, children but fortunately not pets.

You could try a sailing tender, that certainly worked for a couple of seasons with the boys.


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[lazyguy]

>> What do you do if your kids hate sailing? Anybody got any good advice on how to get them to enjoy
>> being cold, wet and seasick?

This is my plan with my two girls - aged 7 and 9.

Separate the two questions. Get them to like sailing first, and then hope they will tolerate the wet, cold and seasickness beacuse they like sailing.

This means we sail together as a family in a dinghy during the summer in England, and we go on holiday to Sunsail clubs in Greece, so they can get to enjoy sailing in sunshine and warm water. If they don't feel like sailing they can play in the pool, take a canoe out, go waterskiing, or do all other sorts of seaside holiday things. Meanwhile, Mum and Dad can be seen blasting about in lasers of the beach or taking a day yacht off to a deserted beach for the day.

So far it works, and we think they'll be joining the Oppie club at our local sailing club next summer.

I also get let out to go crewing in the Solent with colleagues to keep up my wet cold and seasickness quota!

Cheers,
Jay

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[ecudc]

If they don't like being cold and wet suggest UK dinghys is not the way to go. Suggest

(1) Restrict sailing time for a season to days/weekends when you are likely to only have pretty fine weather and then gradually reintroduce the seasickness and general misery.
(2) Take a holiday somewhere warm and do a bareboat charter or go on a club med style sporty holiday where they can get introduced to dinghys withough needing a wet suit.
(3) Put the kids off ballet and ponies by telling them (truely) that if they do it for a long time and properly they will end up with enourmous thunder thighs and no one will fancy them

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[tcm]

It works, sort of

ours are now 11 and 14. We took them to the caribbean, the "colonna club" for two years running in antigua and the kids club seems to organise quite lairy games - one of which involves a dozen or more kids-only crews of under 12's or younger whizzing around off the beach in Picos (smaller plastic lasers) trying to dismast/disable each other, and the last one afloat wins. It seems to breed the idea that sailing is great fun, so they seemed not to mind at all when (this summer southern france) their laser went over more than once, hey ho, force 6, not to worry, full rig, up we get and off we go again. But the younger one has not quite got the idea that the idea is to keep the boat upright and the older one buzzes others boats even more closely than Jimi. Fortunately, i was not on board.

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[pugwash]

Make them skipper and mate?

My theory is that unless kids are irrevocably seasick most loathe sailing because they are bored. "Dad's got the helm, Dad's doing the shouting, all I do is pull on ropes...." What wakes kids up is responsibility, being put on the spot. You don't say how old yours are, but if they're old enough to complain so loudly then they're old enough to run things. Give them an official position, tell them what to do and let them get on with it. Coxswain/boatman. Navigator. Sailing master. First mate. Skipper. Of course there's also bosun, engineer and cook, but those jobs are least popular. You give the kids some warning so they have time to think about it and you might rotate the jobs, but they should be in command or whatever for at least a whole day, preferably three days. "And what do you do, Daddy? "
"Well son, I'm God. I'll be watching everything you do and I'll speak up if it happens to be dangerous, otherwise you're on your own."
It takes some courage on your part and a lot of patience but you in turn develop new skills (diplomacy and long-range anticipation, etc). You don't yell at the kids if they do the wrong thing. You make sure your Skipper is consulted at every turn about passage planning and thinking ahead. Grown-ups have to be hands-off except for heavy jobs, perhaps cranking in the jib or anchoring, but having said that there are ways of running things in a less aggressive and efficient way, though perfectly acceptable, which will be within the limits of their strength. By that I mean that it doesn't really matter in the long haul if the boat is doing 4 knots most of the afternoon instead of six, and it's a small price to pay if your sailing master or skipper of the day happens to be a 10-year-old with a smile charting a great circle route around his head and back again.
Sometimes you just have say, "Sorry kids, I'm taking over" and they have to respect that decision (as they will, because they are already on the way to screwing up or you wouldn't be taking over).
I always remember sailing in the schooner Sir Winston Churchill years ago and the captain boasted that on all his voyages the wheel had never been touched by anybody other than trainees.
True, yachts are a lot more skittery and the helm requires instant adjustment, but the principle is a sound one. What it requires most from you is confidence -- in yourself and in them. They've got to have the space to make their own mistakes and you must have the confidence to let them do it.
In fact I wrote a book about this stuff years ago, long out of print (The Young Yachtsman). In the foreword I wrote: "If young people know their status on board and know exactly what they have to do, they will live up to it. Parents and skippers entering into the spirit of this real-life game must do two things. Keep the kids up to the mark, for it's only by demanding high standards that their interest will be kept alive. And have the tolerance to give young people a chance to learn. They will make mistakes but there is no other way...."
Sorry if this sounds preachy but it's so fundamental to absolutely everything afloat. Try it. I'd love to know how it goes.



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[tcm]

Re: Make them skipper and mate?

Yep, i did this, and it works!

But beware: as skipper and first mate, the yougsters set everything up and then a few trips later delegated me to helm (erm, alright...) and swmbo to make lunch... while they catch up with other things like playing or reading a book down below. Well, i suppose we all have to take a turn if there's no autopilot on a rental boat... But then they came up an hour later to rubbish my efforts when they find we are going slower than before and some other boats have overtaken us. Then there's lots of sighing and tsking. One of them has even blimmin taken over the galley making rather swish salads so swmbo is feeling a bit sacked too. Then they decide to go to another port which has better access to Macdonalds or whatever and when i said that wasn't really the original plan they trot out the blimmin "master under God" bit and say that I'm being disrespectful to the final decision of the skipper. I mean, where ON EARTH did they learn that a skipper can behave like this?!

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[pugwash]

Re: Make them skipper and mate?

Well you might have to pay the bill in Macdonalds (for them, while you and SWMBO high-tail to some bistro) but at least they're not mucking out stables. Sounds like your sense of humour was tested but that's all part of their fun (and yours too).

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[tcm]

Re: Make them skipper and mate?

i "might" have pay for macdonalds eh? I'm the just the blimmin bursar!


seriously, i agree with your post! But the gist of mine is true as well.

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[pugwash]

Re: Make them skipper and mate?

Of course! Sorry if I gave the wrong idea. I was agreeing wholeheartedly. The price of a Double Mac is a small one to pay!

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