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Whitelighter

Active member
Joined
4 Apr 2005
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13,979
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Looking out of the window
Re: Snow white and seven dwarves + Robinson Crusoe as well

Luckily Jezbanks was able to use his skill and ability an duck allowing the flying dessert to collide with tcm, who was busy trying to persuade his copper edged magic mirror back onto the wall.

As the audience frivolity came to an end, accidently evil queen Powerskipper got round to the task of finding a suitably perfect apple in which to poison HLB with. Being december, and set in aland that probably doesnt have apples anyway, accidently evil queen Powerskipper decided that the best way to finish off HLB was with a poinsoned eberspacher....
 

Colin_S

New member
Joined
20 Jun 2004
Messages
3,172
Location
kets - help clear your nose
Re: Snow white and seven dwarves + Robinson Crusoe as well

Just then out walked Dame IanGrant clutching an armfull of empty Tesco carrier bags. Cue music and singalong to 'Who ate all the pies?'
 

tcm

Joined
11 Jan 2002
Messages
23,959
Location
Caribbean at the moment
Re: Snow white and seven dwarves + Robinson Crusoe as well

luckily tcm, caught the pie and whammed into jezbanks' face where it actually landed on his face this time with finality and without any more ducking. So that was the end of the pies, defintiely.

Now, evil accidentla powerskipper is off to find hlb. on her way she walks past a house with seven wird people in it and a beautiful young girl. She calls the police, and the cops turn up very quickly with social services as well.
 

Cobra

Well-known member
Joined
4 Jan 2002
Messages
3,066
Location
Brightlingsea, Essex
Call this a panto???

I know where there is a MUCH more amusing one!!! /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif
 

tcm

Joined
11 Jan 2002
Messages
23,959
Location
Caribbean at the moment
snake interuption

the police were diverted by a snake, and since it sounded a bit dodgy they immediately shot it seven times in the head.

Meanwhile the social services learned the seven blokes with the young girl in the woods were all very respectable, somehow, apart from the fact that hlb was in fact dressed up as snow white with a ton of makeup and v long dress to hide his knobbly knees and crap ole deck shoes.
 

Whitelighter

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4 Apr 2005
Messages
13,979
Location
Looking out of the window
Re: Snow white and seven dwarves + Robinson Crusoe as well

As accidently evil queen Powerskipper plodded on to find a suitable poison to release into the hearto unsuspecting HLB's eberspacher system she suddenly realised that only two forumites were doing all the blooming scripting.

Realising that the poisoning of HLB (catchy title dontya think) was supposed to be a group effort see sat on a tuffet and waited for further developements...
 

tcm

Joined
11 Jan 2002
Messages
23,959
Location
Caribbean at the moment
Re: Snow white and seven dwarves + Robinson Crusoe as well

but to no avail. Doing the scripting means that the entire plotline is in your control so quite wonderful things could happen.

Just then, as the panto was going so brilliantly that a very rich producer asked if the current brilliant scriptwriteer would possibly consider being agency scriptwriters for the NHS christmas panto and earn £3million quid each in one evening so they said yes.

Back now to powerskipper who is about to poison hlb who as you remeber is dressed as snow white so no need for any more plodding. "The mirror says you are the most beautiful" said powerskipper to hlb which frankly i cannot believe. "oh yes, perfectly normal" sed hlb "cept what brand of mirror is it? It's not a sumlog or plastimo or vetus is it, they're rubbish! "
 

Whitelighter

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Joined
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Messages
13,979
Location
Looking out of the window
Re: Snow white and seven dwarves + Robinson Crusoe as well

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Oh, Sorry, was too busy counting the 3 million quid I got from the NHS for their panto. Anyway, on the the show (if you can call it that).

<puff of green smoke> 'my', cried hlb 'its my evil nemesis - Dr Osmosis'. No one really knew who Dr Osmosis was, but we were all pretty scared of him, even though most of us would never set eyes on him.

'Stand Back' cried accidentally evil queen Powerskipper 'fair hlb is mine and I am going to cunningly kill him by filling his heating system with poison gas!'

What accidentally evil queen powerskipper had forgotton was the well known fact the eberspachers never bloody work anyhow, so hlb was perfectly safe, for now.....
 

tcm

Joined
11 Jan 2002
Messages
23,959
Location
Caribbean at the moment
Re: Snow white and seven dwarves + Robinson Crusoe as well

so hlb consequently inhaled the eberspacher gas and felt so ill that he threw up all over the dwarves, called grumpybrendan, dopeyjhr, doc alex slleepyjimi sleazy lakesilaor etc which was pretty disgusting but went down a bundle with the audience who thought it was hilarious modern award-winning comedy just like littlle britain on the bbc.

Thinking hlb was dead, accidentally wicked queen Powerskipper slunk back her palace
 

jhr

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Joined
26 Nov 2002
Messages
20,254
Location
Royston Vasey
Re: Snow white and seven dwarves + Robinson Crusoe as well

Meanwhile, awakening from a lengthy trance caused by a spectacularly long, boring and irrelevant meeting about budget forecasts for the diamond mine, Dopeyjhr opened his steely blue eyes and skewered the audience with the piercing (but metaphorical) scalpel of his intelligence, whilst surreptitiously eating all the pies.

"I say, chaps" he said. "He's leaving, Friday"

"Who is"? chorused the audience.

"Why, Robinson Crusoe, of course"!

As he spoke, and unbeknown to him, the Accidentally Wicked Queen Powerskipper slunk up behind him, with unintentional evil on her mind and inadvertent malice in her heart. "Nyahahahahah"! she cried. "Did you think that you could fool me into thinking that hlb was dead? It takes more than a bit of partly digested foodstuff to deceive me. You may think you're being very clever with your restricted growth and your seven-in-a-bed capers, but I have The Knowledge and I will not impart it to you unless you undergo the full RYA preparation course and assessment from an approved and appropriately qualified examiner. Aha! Nyahhahahahaa"!
 

Moonfish

New member
Joined
9 Oct 2004
Messages
81
Re: Call this a panto???

Where would that be then /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif
 

Andrew_Fanner

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Joined
13 Mar 2002
Messages
8,516
Location
ked into poverty by children
Re: Snow white and seven dwarves + Robinson Crusoe as well

Suddenly several members of the audience stood up, harrumphed and demanded that the performance be pulled as it was becoming offensive, to them personally no less. Another member of the audience began to harangue those near him on how the bunting across the stage was fundamentally incorrect. Further members then began to apportion blame when two of the cast inadvertently walked into each other on stage.
 

Colin_S

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20 Jun 2004
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3,172
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kets - help clear your nose
Re: Snow white and seven dwarves + Robinson Crusoe as well

Meanwhile Snow White had popped down to the Chemists but it was a wasted journey as her photos were still not back. She walked out the door singing to herself 'someday my prints will come'.................
 

powerskipper

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Joined
18 Sep 2003
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12,280
Location
Dorset/ Hampshire. south coast
Re: Snow white and seven dwarfs + Robinson Crusoe as well

mean while poweskip was plotting even more devious ways to get HLB, the heater plot being foiled by the lack of heat, so now to try to poison the beer, but he would not accept a beer from powerskip directly, due to her reputation for being mean in a Scottish way, he would guess foul play was afloat. So does she get to deliver the poison.
 

Sammo

New member
Joined
23 Jan 2005
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Adrift
Re: Snow white and seven dwarves + Robinson Crusoe as well

Back at the stage door Robinson C gingerly tapped tcm on the shoulder, who’s in charge here, he asked, Turning round Matt looked him up and down, “welcome old man with long beard and brown knees “ he said, “best go And see Brendan he’ll find you a part, you can easily recognize him as he always carries a steering wheel around with him, it’s all that’s left of his boat after the last time he went out in a force 10.
Hi Brendan, says Crusoe,“can I come in” I dunno say’s Brendan not even bothering to turn round, “we have enough Welsh, Scotts, English, Irish, Europeans, Colonials and Ex-pats, so what are you? Well I suppose you could say I am a castaway, Hmm says Brendan thoughtfully, “ I don’t think we have any of them, you’re in. just go and see uncle Keith and fill in your bio, you are now Robbo C
OK say`s Keith, remember while you’re here, NO,
Biting, Kicking, Scratching, Porn or Slagging off 500k boats,
Everything else is allowed.

Meanwhile hlb had sneaked up behind the wicked queen and quick as a flash stuffed an Avon liferaft up her habit, (4 man) and pulled the cord,
Ha ! shouted Haydn as he beat a hasty retreat, thought you’d poison me eh??
Julie, swelled to 4 times her usual size, spat the instruction book out of her mouth, don’t you worry sunshine, she yelled, I`ll get you next time.
Oh no you won’t - said Haydn
Oh yes I will - says Julie, as she slowly rolled over onto the side marked access.

Oh no you won’t - say’s the audience

..........
 

hlb

RIP
Joined
16 May 2001
Messages
26,776
Location
Any Pub Lancashire or Wales
Re: Snow white and seven dwarves + Robinson Crusoe as well

Oh no you bloody well wont. Said Mucky Farter who had been having a winter siesta on her berth. Mucky had already been awakend once from her slumbers when the dastardly Power Skipper sneaked aboard and slipped some nasty powder stuff down her eberspatcher in a totally nieve way and little realising that M Farter was well versed in methods not found in the RYA silibus. However on that occasion MF had soon rectiffide the problem by massively shorting out her electic circuits, producing loads of black smoke, bad smells and blue flames. So nothing fresh there, she quietly went back to sleep. Realising of course that she would have to be bright and breezy for the forth comming New Years Eve Cruise. Mucky dreamed about, how she could deal with the threats from the wicked old witch and had already come up with some fenderish ideas!
 

david

Member
Joined
16 May 2001
Messages
222
Location
Talland Bay, Cornwall
Re: Call this a panto???

[ QUOTE ]
I know where there is a MUCH more amusing one!!! /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Well slap my thigh /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif Shame it's a repeat, just a different channel with a amature cast.
 

hlb

RIP
Joined
16 May 2001
Messages
26,776
Location
Any Pub Lancashire or Wales
Re: Snow white and seven dwarves + Robinson Crusoe as well

Back up in darkest lancashire the crew were also developing the latest in high tec methods of mass destruction.
 

tcm

Joined
11 Jan 2002
Messages
23,959
Location
Caribbean at the moment
Re: Snow white and seven dwarves + Robinson Crusoe as well

as usual, hlb was toiling away, thinking as all lancashure type do that black pudding can solve everything.

But shortly before the interval, powerskiper went to the unusual step of launching a pantomime cruise missile on lancashire, which wiped most of it out. A pantomime crusie missile is the same as any cruise missile, but sounds more fun.

Hlb was quite pleased cos it meant that insteaed of having liverpool and the very boring lancashire coast, they has lots of intertsing islands to investigate.

After this, hlb resigned his commision as Snow White at which he was rubbish anyway and it was generallly agreed that Powerskipper could take over as Snow White forthwith, a bit like the tory party having various people who all swap about every now and again.

However, this meant they needed a new wicked ugly queen, who had to be very wicked and ugly. Now, hlb was obvioulsy a contender but who wd be chosen as ugly wicked queen?
 
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