I'm semi retired, but still play with racing cars. My wife works for the NHS in the local hospital's Premature Ejaculation unit - she reckons it's a bit 'touch and go' at the moment though.....!
You don't do a good job Syd. How many times have I told you to protect me from Men, yet you keep on beating up all the 'birds' who try to chat me up. /forums/images/icons/crazy.gif
Dave
Its the enjoyment factor thats most important as you say.
When I'm not fighting off all the "birds" that keep crapping on Byron, I'm a docker at Tilbury Docks, the hairy bummed variety with tattoos a crooked nose and a foul mouth! (And proud of it)
I used to be the crane driver at Sabden treacle mines. But got made redundant.
Anyway heres the tale.
Most good tales begin with "once upon a time". This one however, begins in 1723 and ends with the removal of a brown and white sign in the village of Sabden. Most of us who wander the hills of our beloved Lancashire, know about life down the pit, in the quarries and mills; it was the life of our recent ancestors. Few however know much about the lives of the treacle miners of Sabden due to the rather clandestine nature of the industry. As with all other natural resources, sooner or later someone will fall over it, or in this case, put a foot in it. Eli Ebenezer Jeremiah Smith the third, known to everyone as Stink, did it! Put his foot in it that is. He was planting a row of pipe cleaner seeds in his garden when he stepped in something. No he didn't keep a dog and his elephant was in the next field, so he didn't notice anything unusual until the following morning when he found that what was on his boots was now also on the sheets of his bed. Being quite bright with the IQ of a carrot grown in horse manure, he backtracked over the course of two days to the source in the garden of a 'seep' as it became known. As we do with wet paint, he did with treacle - put his finger in it, then he tried to wipe it off on his shirt front and ended up licking it, which proved two things; it was sticky and it tasted pretty good, as long as it was off his fingers and not his boots. Over the course of the next three weeks he sold treacle (so named because it treacled over everything) for various uses such as flavouring dried ragwort for smoking, as a cure for squeaking hinges and raising the octane rating of the local ale. A woman knew where her man was after he'd been drinking that brew - sat on a seat in the small hut at the bottom of the garden reading small squares of the Sabden Times.
The seep faltered and stopped and the Treacle miner was born. Several shafts were sunk, some without trace, and as the treacle level fell the problems mounted. Being sticky and slippery, descending and ascending the shaft was tricky until the invention of the sink plunger. One was simply stuck on to a bald head, a rope attached and the miner lowered down the mine to fill the buckets. At a hundred feet, however, treacle changes from a liquid to a solid and is brought out as treacle toffee, cut into small pieces and wrapped in paper it proved very popular. Pockets of liquid treacle were found from time to time and most of this was knitted into parkin and traded with the Accrington Tripe Dressers for wild tripe furs. These were renowned for their non-stick properties and ability to sniff out a marauding black pudding at 200 yards. On rare occasions a pocket of treacle gas was struck and blasted skyward from the vertical shaft with great force. Pendle witches were once snow white and just happened to be flying in close formation over Sabden when one of these blasts exhausted from the shaft. They didn't have Persil in those days and have been black ever since. Some of Lancashire's unique expressions have their origin in treacle mining: A miner going over to a wall or tree for example saying "Ahm just. goin' t' empty mi clog" was doing just that, because naturally it was full of treacle.
As Sabden was, and is, the only source of treacle, it found its way to most places of the world and although considerable quantities are still to be found, the discovery of syrup wells in Milton Keynes played economic havoc. The councils refusal to provide facilities for decontamination to meet new regulations concerning the welfare of miners wives proved to be the final straw and the mine closed with the loss of four miners, five hangers-on and a three legged, one eyed, broken tailed mangy cat called 'Lucky'.
The industry threw up many characters over the years and many characters threw up, all with tales to tell, but those are other stories.....
<font color=red> No one can force me to come here-----------
----- I'm a Volunteer! /forums/images/icons/smile.gif
ere mate got any cheap gear.
But any way
This lorry driver just back into the yard when the boss came running out
Oh thank god your back we've got a rush job on
XXXk will ya I've got plans this week end
Look here's £100
XXXK me ok governor
Off he goes to Spain
Any way alls well he collected the load got the ferry
Once off the ferry , the first lay bye old bill waved him in
he winds down the window to hear the usual
where you been where you going what you got !!
out he gets shows the papers opens the back alls well so off he goes yet again .
ten miles further on towards London another copper pulls him up
the same stuff all over again
where you been where you going what you got
out he gets shows the papers opens the back ,yet again alls well so off he goes
as he was entering London suddenly he see's a bloke jump out in the road
he jams his brakes but feels a thud as he hits some thing
oh xxxt he cries as he leaps out and runs back expecting to see a dead lump in the road.
Winston is stood there with Leroy cursing and stamping his feet
look man look what you did to me bike blood clot rass !!!!!!!
Look mate I didn't see ya I mean it being dark an all , look I'll give you a lift where are you going
Brixton
ok then lets put it in the back but you two cant come in the cab or I'll get grief
Ok Ok man cool
so yet again off he sets
just as he gets towards Kilburn there's a police car
Now paddy says the sergeant I'll give you one last chance or you wont be a copper
right right I can do I can just tell me once more
where you been where you going what you got the sarge shouted
right right I've got it
ok now do it or else paddy
Paddy runs out into the road and waves the lorry down
right right driver where you been where you going and er er what you got
Oh xxck this look here's the paper work you sort it out and chucks the papers at paddy
Paddy calmly holds his head up walks to the rear of the lorry and opens the door
he looks in slams the door and runs back to the sergeant
Oh no paddy not again
no no I got it right sarge I did I did
but you wont believe it you really wont
he's got a load of black eggs and two of em's hatched and stole a motorbike already....
Excuse me, the treacle mining started down here in Cornwall, in fact at Falmouth, and goes right back into Cornish folklore.
Two years ago an attempt was made to restart mining of Trefusis point, vistors to Falmouth may remember the ex-oil rig that was used for drilling the test bores.
Absolutely nothing, but am aware of the huge debt of gratitude I owe to all those that slave, day in, day out to keep Tonyland afloat or should that be awash
ha do you know its this politically correct society that is so hypocritical .
By trying to suppress a person from having freedom of speech.
They them selves encourage moral misdemeanors because folk wont speak out any more for fear of being labeled racialist or even worse becoming the target of reprisals
So stuff em
These days police officers collect data re crime but even when given evidence totally ignore it so hooligans like those who tried to wreck my tug can go on to higher levels of crime .
While those sitting at Westminster enjoy a rich life style oblivious to the hardships of normal people .
This is brought to you by a British citizen no longer able to enjoy the freedoms won by previous generations.
is that enough ranting or shall I carry on !!
Dave - you are not supposed to ask questions like that on this BB. Some become offended, paranoid, embarrassed, silly etc etc. Note how the thread quickly drifted.
Huh, this is getting serious........ but you are absolutely right!!
Freedom is going right down the pan here. Blame the EU, but answer me this. Why do you Pom's, freedom fighters for most of the last century, now just sit back, crack weak PC jokes about it, and take it !
250,000 country people feel strongly enough about it to march tomorrow.. Where are the rest? I don't think this forum is not the place for this...you have one of the few places to express your real feelings in the confidence that not a hundred people will read it, but they might be in a position to influence many others.
Look, I'm new here, but i am frankly and honestly astonished at the intellectual and erudite nature of the respondents - witty, classy, achingly funny, (the thread on Byron's Porn Article comes to mind) street smart, but always lightweight in terms of political or PC issues, especially concerning freedoms. Why? Is boating the last freedom left? If so, for how long? Are we all trying to just escape? I mean, how intense was the discussion on the 8k limit on the Thames?
Don't want to be a damper, just trying to encourage you not to feel bad about raising the issue.......and keep freedom of speech. Noticed things said here you cannot say in public, and that a good thing.
I'll reread this alco-fueled rant tomorrow and wish I hadn't bothered.........
I was thinking of going to Peterborough boot sale tomorrow but then I thought of the mass of east block wandering around trying to haggle or steal !!
I used to got to Germany to Techno Classica and the motor show in Essen
you would not believe how things changed when the wall came down, over the years things just went down hill especially for Germany as a whole.
I do worry about where this all will lead we are not able to furnish our own people with good housing and health facilities so how can we hope to cope with
millions of others pouring in.
Around here local factories rely on the immigrants labour there is a new culture here yet again !!
I can see where your coming from. Now I'm only just old enuogh to remember the Late Enoch Powell. A lot of the things that he said were a lot of far right rubbish. But and its a big but, some of the things he warned about are becoming reality. The one that sticks in my mind is "This country will not be run by the British for the British, but by Imigrants for Imigrants" Sadley that is becoming so.
Now i'm not a raving racist, but it makes me wonder what sort of place this will be when my kids grow up and I'm dead and gone!
OK, to hell with it. Unbolt it and we'll use it as an anchor!