jimi
Well-known member
Any tips on phrases not to use when I get examined next week? Thought I might avoid things like "Well! It was'nt as shallow as this a couple of weeks ago."
Things not to say to the YM examiner
- Thread starter jimi
- Start date
Mirelle
N/A
"What's the Grid reference?"
"Gosh, they built that quickly!"
"Let me see, now, what's that rhyme about collisions.....oh yes..."When in danger or in doubt, wave and shout and rush about!""
"Is that point up or point down, I can never remember?"
"Lets put all the nav. lights on, so they see us better!"
"What's cross track error?"
"Don't worry, I've put the exact position of that buoy in as a waypoint....OOPS!"
"Springs are the low tides, aren't they?"
"Reef? I never reef!"
"Oh, I thought that ship was anchored!"
"Just stay in the middle. Power gives way to sail!"
"Just put that can down by the compass, will you?"
"Gosh, they built that quickly!"
"Let me see, now, what's that rhyme about collisions.....oh yes..."When in danger or in doubt, wave and shout and rush about!""
"Is that point up or point down, I can never remember?"
"Lets put all the nav. lights on, so they see us better!"
"What's cross track error?"
"Don't worry, I've put the exact position of that buoy in as a waypoint....OOPS!"
"Springs are the low tides, aren't they?"
"Reef? I never reef!"
"Oh, I thought that ship was anchored!"
"Just stay in the middle. Power gives way to sail!"
"Just put that can down by the compass, will you?"
S
Skyva_2
Guest
' Fishing boat! What fishing boat? '
' No, you can't have a cup of tea, I'm too busy. '
' That ship's at anchor, I can see the chain. '
' Emergency tiller? I know we have one somewhere. '
' Don't worry, they always turn to Port at the Brambles. '
' No, you can't have a cup of tea, I'm too busy. '
' That ship's at anchor, I can see the chain. '
' Emergency tiller? I know we have one somewhere. '
' Don't worry, they always turn to Port at the Brambles. '
Twister_Ken
Well-known member
How about
Whoops!
Good job the boat is insured.
For God's sake fend OFF!
Man overboard? Don't be daft, it's easier to buy a new fender.
Surely if the mast is leaning over to starboard we must be on starboard tack.
Well, the engine has never failed to go astern before.
Anchor ball? I know there was one somewhere when I bought the boat.
Where are my flares? Haven't worn those since 1972.
Whoops!
Good job the boat is insured.
For God's sake fend OFF!
Man overboard? Don't be daft, it's easier to buy a new fender.
Surely if the mast is leaning over to starboard we must be on starboard tack.
Well, the engine has never failed to go astern before.
Anchor ball? I know there was one somewhere when I bought the boat.
Where are my flares? Haven't worn those since 1972.
chriscallender
Active member
Pass us the map, will you? I need to try to figure out where we are.
Was anyone up in time catch the weather forecast this morning?
Look over the side and see how deep it looks.
What are all those buoys with the funny shapes on them for?
Pass us up another beer, will you.
Was anyone up in time catch the weather forecast this morning?
Look over the side and see how deep it looks.
What are all those buoys with the funny shapes on them for?
Pass us up another beer, will you.
chriscallender
Active member
Rock? What rock? Crunch.....
Martin_Billings
New member
Just cast an eye over those sheep's entrails will you, when they turn green it's a sure sign of a storm
iangrant
New member
I think you may be too fat/thin/ugly to get through that hatch,
How long do you think the RYA will carry on?
How long have you been sailing?
Have you done many of these exams before?
I don't think we've got enough lifejackets.
Do I have to?
Course to steer - certainly, aim for the ship over there,
What would I want with a hand bearing compass?
If I have to draw on the chart I always use a pen.
Secondary port, no we'll stick to the primary ones.
If I turned off the GPS I'd be completely lost.
That should do it!
Good luck
Ian
How long do you think the RYA will carry on?
How long have you been sailing?
Have you done many of these exams before?
I don't think we've got enough lifejackets.
Do I have to?
Course to steer - certainly, aim for the ship over there,
What would I want with a hand bearing compass?
If I have to draw on the chart I always use a pen.
Secondary port, no we'll stick to the primary ones.
If I turned off the GPS I'd be completely lost.
That should do it!
Good luck
Ian
jhr
Well-known member
"Of course, this whole qualifications business is just a scam to keep you guys in beer money............"
"East Cardinal? I thought he was a Russian Orthodox Priest?"
"East Cardinal? I thought he was a Russian Orthodox Priest?"
Mirelle
N/A
"Red to green and green to red; perfect safety, go ahead!"
"Road hog! Why does'nt he pull over and let me overtake!"
"WHAT did you just say? Pick up that boy? Sorry, I try to be tolerant, but I must draw the line...."
"Road hog! Why does'nt he pull over and let me overtake!"
"WHAT did you just say? Pick up that boy? Sorry, I try to be tolerant, but I must draw the line...."
MADFISH
New member
Wern't you the guy on the Mccgregor stand at the boatshow?
Trust me, I've been doing this for almost a year........
Nah. Sorry mate, I think your talking a load of Bo***cks. I do it this way...
Go on, pass me! I have a £50 bet with my sailing school riding on this!
...so I yelled to the guy on the aft tug, "Oy! Power gives way to sail"! "Have you not read your highway code"?
Does my bum look big in this? I mean, I should have got Musto but that makes my chest look small. Oh, Hello sailor!
Trust me, I've been doing this for almost a year........
Nah. Sorry mate, I think your talking a load of Bo***cks. I do it this way...
Go on, pass me! I have a £50 bet with my sailing school riding on this!
...so I yelled to the guy on the aft tug, "Oy! Power gives way to sail"! "Have you not read your highway code"?
Does my bum look big in this? I mean, I should have got Musto but that makes my chest look small. Oh, Hello sailor!
ALLWEATHER
New member
hello
MADFISH
New member
Good one!
sailbadthesinner
New member
see here yeh? now over there is where i lost my last boat
right. normally, once in this channel, we all just turn the autopilot on and head below for a cup of tea
ofcourse i would really like a twister,why they are fabulous ....................
what those old j cloths ohn just flush them down the loo
and for when i go cruising i bought this revolver and H and K rifle
and finally
ooh i often post on scuttlebutt
Ok brain let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.
right. normally, once in this channel, we all just turn the autopilot on and head below for a cup of tea
ofcourse i would really like a twister,why they are fabulous ....................
what those old j cloths ohn just flush them down the loo
and for when i go cruising i bought this revolver and H and K rifle
and finally
ooh i often post on scuttlebutt
Ok brain let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.
NigeCh
New member
Stop worrying ....
If you can get through the intense week with Southern Sailing you'll find that worse than any RYA-YM exam. They will sort you out and tell you whether they think that you will pass the YM practical.
Just take the prep and the exam step by step. Be yourself and do as you would do on your own boat.
Relax. Now go pass the exam - There's nothing in it that you already don't know or that you haven't done before.
If you can get through the intense week with Southern Sailing you'll find that worse than any RYA-YM exam. They will sort you out and tell you whether they think that you will pass the YM practical.
Just take the prep and the exam step by step. Be yourself and do as you would do on your own boat.
Relax. Now go pass the exam
- There's nothing in it that you already don't know or that you haven't done before.sailbadthesinner
New member
Re: Stop worrying ....
i dunno
they might ask him to buy a round of drinks to celebrate his passing
he's never done that before
allegedly
Ok brain let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.
i dunno
they might ask him to buy a round of drinks to celebrate his passing
he's never done that before
allegedly
Ok brain let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.
TheBoatman
New member
Pass me that AA road atlas will you I'm sure thats the I.O.W
Anyone know how to turn the radio on and which channel the CG is on today?
BUNG!! Christ I thought you were a YM examiner not a football manager
They never told me it would be like this when I asked on the ybw site
Why you asking me a whole load of daft questions??? your the YM ,,dont you know the answers
When he asks you to pick up a mooring, then tells you engine wont start, MOB, sail halyards siezed, start running around the deck shouting we're all gonna die.
Anyone know how to turn the radio on and which channel the CG is on today?
BUNG!! Christ I thought you were a YM examiner not a football manager
They never told me it would be like this when I asked on the ybw site
Why you asking me a whole load of daft questions??? your the YM ,,dont you know the answers
When he asks you to pick up a mooring, then tells you engine wont start, MOB, sail halyards siezed, start running around the deck shouting we're all gonna die.
Twister_Ken
Well-known member
\"Sit down, clip on and ...
...stand by for the ride of your life!"
...stand by for the ride of your life!"
Viking
New member
"The brown envelope is under the logbook"
MADFISH
New member
Re: \"Sit down, clip on and ...
Ever danced with the devil under the pale moonlight?
Ever danced with the devil under the pale moonlight?