MADFISH
New member
Re: \"Sit down, clip on and ...
Ever danced with the devil under the pale moonlight?
Ever danced with the devil under the pale moonlight?
Things not to say to the YM examiner
- Thread starter jimi
- Start date
claymore
Well-known member
Jings mon - ye can pit yer clipboard awa fer a stairt - Ah'm ra skipper here an ef ah'm wantin ye tae stairt writin', ah'll tell ye - which reminds me - hav ye written yer will?
regards
Claymore
/forums/images/icons/smile.gif
regards
Claymore
/forums/images/icons/smile.gif
Mirelle
N/A
The winner! (nm)
!!!!
!!!!
Magic_Sailor
New member
To a lady examiner
But you said to harden up a bit!
Magic
<A target="_blank" HREF=http://hometown.aol.co.uk/geoffwestgarth/myhomepage/travelwriting.html>Click for website!</A>
But you said to harden up a bit!
Magic
<A target="_blank" HREF=http://hometown.aol.co.uk/geoffwestgarth/myhomepage/travelwriting.html>Click for website!</A>
jimboaw
New member
Re: To a lady examiner
can you swim?
can you swim?
NigeCh
New member
Hope you didn\'t get asked the question(s)
in an F9:
"The batteries have failed. The rudder has fallen off. Your sails are ripped out. MOB!!! You are in thick fog and there's a tanker sailing on a collision course with you. It's the middle of the night and it's new moon ... Oh, and by the way a seacock has just disintegrated and the boat is flooding."
I queried whether there was an iceberg looming ... and so failed* !!!! (because I carried on sailing muttering words like 'What an arsehole." (It was full sunshine in a gentle reaching breeze ... He threw his hat overboard and it was lost.)
*Feedback: I was told that I was unfit to sail with. There was a 'slight' altercation post event ... )
Feedback 2: Feed the examiner with what he wants to hear. Don't be an arsehole like me ...
in an F9:
"The batteries have failed. The rudder has fallen off. Your sails are ripped out. MOB!!! You are in thick fog and there's a tanker sailing on a collision course with you. It's the middle of the night and it's new moon ... Oh, and by the way a seacock has just disintegrated and the boat is flooding."
I queried whether there was an iceberg looming ... and so failed* !!!! (because I carried on sailing muttering words like 'What an arsehole." (It was full sunshine in a gentle reaching breeze ... He threw his hat overboard and it was lost.)
*Feedback: I was told that I was unfit to sail with. There was a 'slight' altercation post event ... )
Feedback 2: Feed the examiner with what he wants to hear. Don't be an arsehole like me ...
iangrant
New member
Re: To a lady examiner
You don't sweat much for a fat lass?
You don't sweat much for a fat lass?
mtb
New member
Dont mind if we pick a few mates up do you.
no mate I aint ever been up a cardinal , your aving a laugh aint cha
no no we have to stop the bog needs emptying, give us a hand will ya
I'l just ring the coast gaurd thingy find out about the weather
Keep those imigrants quiet will ya.
Fancy a game of poker to pass the time.
Can we get a move on there's a patrol boat about.
points !! no pal I got a clean licence
E, r you cop the wheel an drive, I dont like this bit .
( ring ring ) allo darling yus he's a right plonker
smile you'l be on your boat soon ;-)
<A target="_blank" HREF=http://homepage.ntlworld.com/boats/>http://homepage.ntlworld.com/boats/</A>
no mate I aint ever been up a cardinal , your aving a laugh aint cha
no no we have to stop the bog needs emptying, give us a hand will ya
I'l just ring the coast gaurd thingy find out about the weather
Keep those imigrants quiet will ya.
Fancy a game of poker to pass the time.
Can we get a move on there's a patrol boat about.
points !! no pal I got a clean licence
E, r you cop the wheel an drive, I dont like this bit .
( ring ring ) allo darling yus he's a right plonker
smile you'l be on your boat soon ;-)
<A target="_blank" HREF=http://homepage.ntlworld.com/boats/>http://homepage.ntlworld.com/boats/</A>
S
Skyva_2
Guest
' Did I tell you I was a Captain in the RN? '
' So I said to Ellen.....'
' So I said to Ellen.....'
mike_k
New member
Is it the pointy end that's called the stern ?
jimi
Well-known member
"Can we put the white flappy things away now, they must have dried by now in this wind!"
wishbone
New member
Re: To a lady examiner
Ere darling, make yerself useful nip downstairs an put the kettle on, I’m dying for a cuppa!!
Wishbone
Wot do I know! I’m just yer common cockney!
Ere darling, make yerself useful nip downstairs an put the kettle on, I’m dying for a cuppa!!
Wishbone
Wot do I know! I’m just yer common cockney!
Peppermint
New member
Some have it harder.
In the book "The Human Factor in Aircraft Accidents" the psyche of the examiner is examined. Some become a bit god like.
I.E. A four engined commercial aircraft on a pilot check flight failed to climb on leaving the runway. Investigators found all four throttles closed. The black box showed that as soon as the thing left the ground the examiner closed the throttles as part of the test. Once that happened nothing on earth could save the crew or the examiner.
So simulating a bit of plastic round your prop ain't all that bad is it? But watch him.
In the book "The Human Factor in Aircraft Accidents" the psyche of the examiner is examined. Some become a bit god like.
I.E. A four engined commercial aircraft on a pilot check flight failed to climb on leaving the runway. Investigators found all four throttles closed. The black box showed that as soon as the thing left the ground the examiner closed the throttles as part of the test. Once that happened nothing on earth could save the crew or the examiner.
So simulating a bit of plastic round your prop ain't all that bad is it? But watch him.
Jools_of_Top_Cat
New member
Re: Hope you didn\'t get asked the question(s)
so what was the answer?
<font color=blue> Julian </font color=blue>
<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.ukstaffords.com>http://www.ukstaffords.com</A>
so what was the answer?
<font color=blue> Julian </font color=blue>
<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.ukstaffords.com>http://www.ukstaffords.com</A>
longjohnsilver
Well-known member
Did you bring the maps?
I hope the polyfilla I plastered over that hole stays in place.
(on the phone) Oh sorry I thort you were coming tomorrow!
Have you brought a lifejacket and liferaft?
Now we're out you wont mind if I get my head down for an hour or two?
Are you any good with electrics?
Oops, I didn't know she was your wife/daughter/mother!
I hope the polyfilla I plastered over that hole stays in place.
(on the phone) Oh sorry I thort you were coming tomorrow!
Have you brought a lifejacket and liferaft?
Now we're out you wont mind if I get my head down for an hour or two?
Are you any good with electrics?
Oops, I didn't know she was your wife/daughter/mother!
kingfisher
Well-known member
- Wow, maybe I shouldn't have had that fifth G&T
- Want a drag of my funny shaped cigarette (sailing in the Netherlands
- It'll be close, but we'll make it
- If we start the engine, we can just pass in front of that Ro-Ro that's comming down the shipping lane
- If you need me, I'll be in my bunk
- Why?
- I imagine it pays well ?
- Want to see her do 25 kts ? (location: Portsmouth harbour entrance)
- See how close I can sail past that bouy
- The cigarette butt ? Just chuck it overboard
And, because I'm a sailing instr. for the Sea-scouts, following are actual quotes
- "Look, they've turned on the windmills, we'll have some wind soon."
- "I'll just lie down, and look past the mast at the clouds and steer like that"
- (of the mouth of Hansweert, watching me ferrying the boat in at a 45° angle due to the usual cross tide) "Djiezes, all this current here, why can't theymark this on the chart with arrows or something"
- "Allthough I was instructed to go between the red and green can in this approach channel, I'll cut the corner here"(took us 2 hours to wiggle the boat out. Moron did it again two days later. Failed, strangely enough)
- "Even though I feel a lot of resistance on this mainsail halyard, I'll put it on this 2-speed winch and give it a few turns"
Group of people on the pontoon: skipper is the one with the toolbox.
http://sirocco31.tripod.com
- Want a drag of my funny shaped cigarette (sailing in the Netherlands
- It'll be close, but we'll make it
- If we start the engine, we can just pass in front of that Ro-Ro that's comming down the shipping lane
- If you need me, I'll be in my bunk
- Why?
- I imagine it pays well ?
- Want to see her do 25 kts ? (location: Portsmouth harbour entrance)
- See how close I can sail past that bouy
- The cigarette butt ? Just chuck it overboard
And, because I'm a sailing instr. for the Sea-scouts, following are actual quotes
- "Look, they've turned on the windmills, we'll have some wind soon."
- "I'll just lie down, and look past the mast at the clouds and steer like that"
- (of the mouth of Hansweert, watching me ferrying the boat in at a 45° angle due to the usual cross tide) "Djiezes, all this current here, why can't theymark this on the chart with arrows or something"
- "Allthough I was instructed to go between the red and green can in this approach channel, I'll cut the corner here"(took us 2 hours to wiggle the boat out. Moron did it again two days later. Failed, strangely enough)
- "Even though I feel a lot of resistance on this mainsail halyard, I'll put it on this 2-speed winch and give it a few turns"
Group of people on the pontoon: skipper is the one with the toolbox.
http://sirocco31.tripod.com
Robin2
New member
Where should it be ?
deckham
New member
"Most of my sailing has been done in the Lakes"
"You're looking a bit pale ar'nt you?"
" Are you the regular chap, or have you been brought out of retirement ?"
" I am a dinghy-sailing instructor "
"You're looking a bit pale ar'nt you?"
" Are you the regular chap, or have you been brought out of retirement ?"
" I am a dinghy-sailing instructor "
Dominic
New member
Is there a "t" in Cunliffe ?
No I am NOT being rude about him --- it is just an example of what not to say.
No I am NOT being rude about him --- it is just an example of what not to say.