Sell up & sail!?

Re: Sell up & sail!?

You dont sound too happy in your marriage, madam. If I was in your position, I wouldnt be in your position long, if you get my drift!
Life is way too short to be saddled with a non performing partner!
Get up, out and get on with living, your dream. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
Re: Sell up & sail!?

Hi Vanilla
Oh dear! Doesn't sound too good to me...sounds like you might be joining us in the band of "women who finally snap"! Is he also a HWHA ("he who hates adventure") as well as a person who hates making decisions? Perhaps the lack of willingness to commit to a boat is some sort of deep fear that you'll want to actually go off on an adventure rather than just talk about it. He sounds like a commitment-phobic sort of person...

I wish you luck. Its quite a big thing to buy a boat without a willing partner (or without a partner at all in my case)- its sort of an act of faith that you will actually find like-minded people to come sailing with you. I'm hoping my female friends will actually commit when it comes to it, but there is no certainty.

Carol
 
Re: Sell up & sail!?

Ho - Vanilla and Caroldevon - women after my own heart! How familiar it all sounds..

I bought a boat (small inheritance) as a family thing. And because my then husband enjoyed sailing. What I overlooked was that he enjoyed sailing - but not with his wife!!!

I later bought a boat half and half with a former partner. He then forced me to sell it, saying he needed the money out of it (all of a piece - he was a SUCH a liar, and it was no such thing).

Mm - dilemma! Am I useless at choosing suitable OHs? Yet I don't want to sail alone, and I enjoy owning a boat.

I suppose last summer's four month trip is the nearest I shall ever get to sailing nirvana - crewing with Jack, my dearest Yankee skipper and fabulous platonic friend.

S x
 
Re: Sell up & sail!?

Sod the men, SuzyRosyWorzy (and vanilla!)...

Change the mindset -if we can't find suitable men to set off with (and for some reason that seems to imply "partner" rather than friend) just have to do it with like minded people! So what's the problem with sailing with your friend Jack? Or is he looking for that suitable female as well?

I've just been reading "The voyager's handbook" (Beth Leonard). Of the people she surveyed, most were couples and the rest either single handed or a group of blokes. She was struck by the fact there were few women single-handed skippers, and no women sailing together in pairs of groups.

About time we changed that! I don't believe for one minute that female sailing buddies would be any more difficult than male sailing buddies

Carol
 
Re: Sell up & sail!?

your other half doesn't have to be male to shurk out of commiting to a joint dream when it comes to the crunch.
my partner ( now EX I hasten to add ) was commited to our live aboard dream... untill it really started to happen and we started building our boat.

Now she's decided that a kitchen sink and increasing morgage rate is more attractive, along with one of our friends who she's now living with ( and she really is attractive ).

but hey I've been there and got the t-shirt as they say, so I know what I'm missing, so I carn't wait to get back afloat, only this time I'm not going to sell up my boat for love, it's going to be a case of "love me, love my boat" and my wandering life style..... /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif
Rachel x
 
Sounds very familiar. I'd been saving like mad for two years with my ex - the plan was to save enough to buy the boat, rent out the house (+ one other already rented out), quit our jobs and go.

A months before getting where we wanted to be financially, she left me. Said she didn't really want to do it. Her parents were totally against the idea. She wanted a more conventional life (+ babies I think). She took half of everything (which was pretty much what she put in anyway).

That was in April '06. I'm now over her and back to saving. If I don't meet someone like-minded I'll end up doing it anyway, so they'll be another bloke out there on his own, although not by choice.
 
Sad though it is, when a relationship ends - surely it's better it ends earlier rather than later - because living on board CAN put more strains on a relationship than living on land. Maybe, sometimes and it depends on the people.

S x
 
All very interesting!
I left my DH, sold the house to him and bought a cat in my 30th year! (Early mid life crisis or coming to my senses)
Now trying to sell up to buy a boat with my DP.
Havuing now seen the reality of sailing/liveaboard I sadly would not feel confident totally on my own (not saying I couldn't eventaually with more training etc, its all the mechanics that gets me!)
All much more complicated by sharing custody of a 4 year old with ex DH. I can't just sail off into the sunset but hope over time to extend periods from weekends, not sure how we are going to manage if DP sails off to the Med in the new boat un;less I'm prepared to leave DD with DH.
Trying to take it one day at a time at the mo!
I quite fancy setting sail with a load of women in the future, possibly less shouting when you get things wrong or are abit slow?
Good luck everyone!
Selina x
 
Definetely! Where shall we put it!?
Seperate forum on here for women boaties/livaboards/wannabe's?
Or maybe a yahoo group?
What do you reckon?
Could do with somwhere to ask really stupid inane questions that I am too embaressed to ask all the knowing men!
lol
Selina x
 
Why brand all men with the same tar brush? Some of us will answer even inane questions from men! Dont be sexist, even jokingly!
 
Hi Englander

For my part, I don't think its as much to do with sexism as with the preconception generally that its the men who want to sail and the women who "go along with it" or "hold me back". There's also an assumption that we (women) have to wait for "a man" before we sell up and sail.

Is that sexist? Or just the common view and assumption?

BTW, I'm not anti male- just at at my age, a lot of men seem to want to find a blond someone twenty years younger who will go along with whatever they say, rather than an adventurous if rather self willed true partner. There's nothing I would like better than a nice sexy willing male sailing partner, but I also appreciate the company of women friends (and male ones for that matter!) and think it might be fun to go off with friends...
 
Sorry...
I just get embarrassed to ask questions. People seem to assume you should have a basic understanding of many mechanical objects, which I don't!
But agree with you about sexism.
S
 
Re: Sell up & sail!?

Thanks for all the comments - given us a lot to think about. One thing's for sure - we're not going anywhere till our house has sold - and it hasn't yet! We have thought about a small apt or plot of land - maybe Cyprus or Greece - but then wonder what the implications are of not having a UK home address (ie healthcare, tax/ni, id, mail etc). Other thoughts are stashing the money in the bank - going back to work in the Med through summer (could either fly out and live in digs/on someone else's boat) or travel over in and use our motorhome as a base - then return to UK (temp work/rent a flat) in the winter. But we don't do cold and hate the grey skies - and probably our money would sharp diminish just sitting in a bank account! Oh, oh - so many decisions!
 
Re: Sell up & sail!?

Yup, we sold everything, 2 houses, the lot, no ties to the uk at all now, all we own is the boat and contents.
Been out 3 years, never looked back.
Joe n Jayne n Molly the one eyed cat
Seastream 34 Ketch.
 
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