Not for sale

benjenbav

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This is a story which might be of no interest to anyone else. I'm not looking for sympathy; just thought I'd mention my own sailing odyssey.

I grew up with sailing boats but owing to work/marriage/children etc I had not sailed for nearly 20 years when I was invited for a few days sailing in August 2001 and remembered what I had been missing.

By this time we had found out that both the youngest and the middle one of our 3 children were mentally handicapped and I was trying to find a leisure activity in which they could participate on a more or less equal footing with other children and which would be something which our eldest (then 10) would also enjoy, without feeling that this was yet another instance where his life was constrained by his sisters.

Sailing suddenly seemed the obvious solution and so we looked for and found a suitable boat which was duly surveyed, bought and moved to Chichester, with great pride in ownership.

In 2002 and 2003 we had many enjoyable day sails in Chichester harbour and the occasional venture over the bar into the Solent, with the girls safely harnessed via running lines from their lifejackets to jackstays. But by last summer both girls had developed Houdini-like abilities to extricate themselves from any known safety device whilst having no sense of danger. Increasingly, we found that any time spent on the water was more stressful than the stresses we were trying to get away from and, of course, the boat was used less and less.

Finally, at the start of this year I decided to sell. I felt that the boat owed me nothing, but couldn't see the point of continuing to rent the hole in the water.

I agreed a brokerage deal with Opal which I thought was reasonable and was pleased with the way they kept me in touch with enquiries right up to the point where a decent offer was received last week.....which I turned down.

During this summer I have had a number of magnificent days on the water just sailing with my son who is now 14 and big and strong enough to pull ropes, steer and be fully involved. We've also managed a few trips to the marina with the whole family to fettle things and just to potter about.

So, hopefully, more of the same this autumn and next year onwards. Thanks to Opal and apologies if it was you who made me an offer, but for the time being...not for sale!
 
Oh, but it is of interest! And well told.

My younger brother is mentally handicapped; for me, the chance to go sailing with my father was very important, and I still look back over almost thirty years and more to times spent sailing with father.

My mother was rather less impressed, alas.
 
I think that you have made the right decision. You will be able to have meaningful times with your son, for a few years anyway. To extend these times with him, encourage him to bring friends. Will help to keep you young too.
 
I recently took a family out on our boat. The mother was quite concerned as the son had learning difficulties and was hyperactive. I found the son rose early in the morning and sat in the cockpit (just the two of us) asking lots of questions. The more I explained the more he wanted know and do.

The family had a great weekend but the mother decided sailing was not for her. The son loved the weekend and due to the sons enthusiasm the mother booked him on a basic dinghy sailing course. With some degree of trepidation she carefully explained to the instructor her particular sons difficulties. To her amazment the instructor later phoned telling her that the son was really talented and suggested he join a club and start racing with other children.

Needless to say the mother was delighted for the first time in her life to have her son complimented and told how good he was at something rather than how difficult he was.

I haven't kept up with the very latest news but understand she now has to provide the normal parent taxi service to a sailing club every weekend and the boy is really progressing well!

I deeply sypathise with your particular difficulties with your children and sailing is not for everyone but would encourage everyone that whenever possible to let all children try sailing even those that initially you may not think of as the most capable.
 
I really enjoyed that post so thank you - as an expectant father it also gave me lots to think about!

I hope, and am sure, your decision be the best decision
 
Wow- what a huge crossroads to have arrived at. I think you have defined what sailing is about and that we all have to participate at our own levels. A post from the heart.
 
Thanks one and all for your kind comments. Now, I wonder if anyone can help with a recommendation. My port/stbd lights (on the pulpit) have packed up. On Sunday, I checked the obvious (bulbs, fuses, shorting out on the stanchions) and reached the conclusion that the fault lay somewhere under the headlining.

Can anyone recommend an electrician in the Chichester area who might be able to help?
 
Thanks for telling that story. I'm at a similar crossroads although its not due to children (of my own) I too have been thinking of selling - last year we didn't get too much use out of the boat and I'm just about to take a pay cut due to a career change. Logic says we should cut our losses and sell the boat.

However, this season we have managed quite a few days out, on a couple of occasions being joined by my 18 year old nephew who seems to be developing a real interest and some aptitude. Also, my 8 year old niece has just started to devour Arthur Ransome books and is asking to go sailing. Next year could be good... What to do? I know that if I sell the boat I'll never be able to justify buying another of the same quality. She's paid for so there are just the running costs.

Anyway, thanks again for the uplifting tale.
 
For anyone reading this thread, benjenbav with your permission, and thinking that they would like to offer something themselves, please remember that in May of 2006 I will be looking for volunteers to take children from special needs schools sailing in Chichester harbour. During KIDS OUT 2005 several SB'ers joined us for the first time, others, I know wanted to help but could'nt. tome, DJE and franacapan and others all had a great time.

All the children mentioned in this thread have had the chance to be taken out onto the water. The children that we take sailing are also the lucky ones, they have a great time, just see it in their faces! Lets give more opportunities to more kids.

If you would like to give a little back and be part of KIDS OUT 2006, or just want to know more, please PM me.

thank you
 
Further to Stephen's post

We participated for the first time this year. One of the most rewarding experiences we (self and SWMBO) have had for ages. Lovely kids, big hearted supervisor and just wish we could contibute more than a few hours once a year, highly recommended and very well organised. Still smiling!

Worth setting aside a day or so in your diary and making your way to Chichester harbour in good time for the embarkation. Next year we'll be hoping to join post-event social and thanks to IanGrant who introduced us to the idea.

Bit of thread drift, no?...
 
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