New GF loves the boat.

[burgundyben]

I have fallen for the fatal charms of a lovely young Scotish girl by the name of Lorna, yesterday I bunked off work and took her out on the boat for the first time, we trundled over to Cowes and up to the Folly, moored on pontoon and hand a nice lunch, on the way home, I got the boat off the pontoon and then Lorna drove us back to Hamble (under close supervision of course). She loved the boat, said it was "Cool" and really fast. WOO HOO!!





<hr width=100% size=1>Sod the Healey - I think I'll buy an E-Type.

 

[longjohnsilver]

Oh oh, sounds expensive, she'll soon have that rotten old bit of wood sold and a nice new gleaming, white fibreglass model in its place!

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[tcm]

hah, so much for all that cobblers about the boat having classic lines - it's a shagboat for hampshire gals who are completely at home in rotting recently-flooded farmhouse.

Hope you kept the curtains. Replace the mattresses asap cos they will pong of 36 years of mildew. As emergency, you can bosh some aftershave onnem. New vanilla flavoured air freshening will drown out wiffy bilge/fart smells - tho this may be part of your attraction? Perhaps continue to say "i have just been helping a mate move some manure" each time you meet which will explain things.

If you want help with the lines replace the old Hamblish nanky ropes with nice new silky lines. Install an autopilot or any important switches on the other side of the helm and let her drive -increased groping opportunities.

hope this helps

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[claymore]

The Lairds Rights

Benny
Yin wee Lorna will nae doot be aware o they ancient scottish customs whereby ra Laird gets tae hae ra fust dibble.
Et's a bit o a trek fer me jes noo and hevin tummled frae Dear Hearts Damson Tree on Saturday - ah'm excusin masel frae duties at ra present time.
This being ra case - Ah've decided tae appoint Jimi tae tak ma place. He'll be contactin ye tae mak arrangements

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[lanason]

Re: The Lairds Rights

Where can I buy a Scottish-English dictionary - cus it takes me ages to read Scottish. Me old mucker.

signed <font color=blue>"West country straw sucking bumpkin"<font color=black>

<hr width=100% size=1>Adrian
<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.arweb.co.uk/argallery/kelisha>More Pics of Kelisha</A> /forums/images/icons/smile.gif

 

[jfm]

All excellent except the "drove back to Hamble" bit. Correct procedure is start late, have very late lunch at folly, stop at W Cowes and take her shopping, then arrive back at boat as it goes dark. Attempt to drive back, but as reach end of river realise it is too dark and you have no lights or radar so you and Ms Doon have to return to nice W Cowes till morning. (You will of course have brought quilt and new mattress and suchlike as per tcm formula)

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[milltech]

"Replace the mattresses asap cos they will pong of 36 years of mildew".

Sure it's mildew?

Still, I have very fond memories of another Lorna (Grant by name), and a wonderful 24 hours on a mediterranean island some 36 years ago, and from here it seems like a parallel life and a different world altogether. Just 24 hours but I've never forgotten her, nor ever will.

<hr width=100% size=1>John
<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.allgadgets.co.uk>http://www.allgadgets.co.uk</A>

 

[tcm]

you're right, probly not mildew. Could be mouse dropping stains, dry rot, rot, wet rot, mould, lice infestation or fablon dust.

I am interested to hear more of med Lorna. Was she othrwise known as Grant cos she was built like a tank? Kindly cough up more info or we have to invent some garbage and risk tarnishing your so-far-slightly-radio-2ish yet risqué memories.



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[claymore]

Re: The Lairds Rights

You can get them in the motorway service stations around the boarder - along with CUJimmie hats and all sorts of other daft stuff.
Translated I'm not sure Kim will approve - I only think I've survived this long because he is a dedicated follower of the Queens English.
The custom is that when a girl of the village is wed, the Laird takes her virginity. Its a custom I'm trying hard to revive and have registered my claim as the Laird of Kilmelford Boatyard - this is only a very small estate, around 30ft long and singularly lacking in virgins. I live of course in hope rather than expectation

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[jhr]

Things are not always what they seem

Are you sure this isn't just a case of Fablon fetish? It may be that she is attracted to man-made veneers rather than possessing an irresistable craving for you and your boat.

Be particularly vigilant if she starts talking about formica, linoleum or other finishes. If she mentions sticky-back plastic, run like hell, as it's likely she has a Blue Peter obsession as well and will expect you to do it yourself with a paper doyley.............

;o)

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[byron]

HAH! So did mein Fuhrer until she got the ring through my nose.

<hr width=100% size=1>http://www.alexander-advertising.co.uk

 

[Alistairr]

Our neighbour at the marina once brought his girlfriend to the boat.

He's now going through a bitter divorce and the boat is having to be sold!!!!



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