doris
Well-known member
The coach on the way to marry Princess Diana Charles noticed that he had forgotten to change from his slippers into his shoes. To cover the problem he borrowed the shoes of his valet. Unfortunately these were at least one size too small. He bore the pain throughout the ceremony, but as soon as he got home he rushed upstairs with Diana to change.
The queen and the queen mother crept up the stairs to listen ;
they heard the bed springs as he sat down to change his shoes then they heard:
" God that was tight".
The queen mother said" There, I told you she was!"
then they heard " And that was even tighter!"
The queen turned to her mother and said " Ah , once a sailor , always a sailor!"
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A family were out in a small boat off the coast , when they got caught out in bad weather. they were very frightened but fortunately they were seen by the coast guard and were towed back to safety by the rescue services.
As they reached the harbour the little five year old daughter Emily said" Thanks to God we were saved!"
Her mother said " Emily I am pleased to hear you say that , it is always good to know that God is in heaven looking down on us"
" NO! not that God! I mean the coast God! "
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The teacher stood a the front of the class:
" Children , there are seven crows sitting on the church wall, if the farmer shot one, how many would be left?
Roger put up his hand " None, miss"
" Why do you say that , there would be six left!"
No,miss , there wouldn't be as the others would all be scared by the bang of the gun ."
"Very good Roger , I like the way you think," said the Teacher.
The Teacher then invited the class to ask a question .
Roger put up his hand.
" Miss, there are three women sitting on a Park bench eating ice creams,. One bites into her ice cream , the next one sucks on hers , and the third licks it. Which one of them is married? "
The teacher colours a bit, and after some thought says " I suppose it would be the second"
Roger says " No , it is the one wearing a wedding ring, but I like the way YOU think!!!"
The queen and the queen mother crept up the stairs to listen ;
they heard the bed springs as he sat down to change his shoes then they heard:
" God that was tight".
The queen mother said" There, I told you she was!"
then they heard " And that was even tighter!"
The queen turned to her mother and said " Ah , once a sailor , always a sailor!"
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A family were out in a small boat off the coast , when they got caught out in bad weather. they were very frightened but fortunately they were seen by the coast guard and were towed back to safety by the rescue services.
As they reached the harbour the little five year old daughter Emily said" Thanks to God we were saved!"
Her mother said " Emily I am pleased to hear you say that , it is always good to know that God is in heaven looking down on us"
" NO! not that God! I mean the coast God! "
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The teacher stood a the front of the class:
" Children , there are seven crows sitting on the church wall, if the farmer shot one, how many would be left?
Roger put up his hand " None, miss"
" Why do you say that , there would be six left!"
No,miss , there wouldn't be as the others would all be scared by the bang of the gun ."
"Very good Roger , I like the way you think," said the Teacher.
The Teacher then invited the class to ask a question .
Roger put up his hand.
" Miss, there are three women sitting on a Park bench eating ice creams,. One bites into her ice cream , the next one sucks on hers , and the third licks it. Which one of them is married? "
The teacher colours a bit, and after some thought says " I suppose it would be the second"
Roger says " No , it is the one wearing a wedding ring, but I like the way YOU think!!!"
