clouty
New member
A forward from my brother in America - hope you all enjoy...
Things to do before the January Inauguration (wb)
1. Get that abortion you've always wanted.
2. Drink a nice clean glass of water.
3. Cash your Social Security check.
4. See a doctor of your own choosing.
5. Spend quality time with your draft age child/grandchild.
6. Visit Syria, or any foreign country for that matter.
7. Get that gas mask you've been putting off buying.
8. Hoard gasoline.
9. Borrow books from library before they're banned - Constitutional law books, Catcher in the Rye, Harry Potter, Tropic of Cancer, etc.
10. If you have an idea for an art piece involving a crucifix - do it now.
11. Come out - then go back in - HURRY!
12. Jam in all the Alzheimer's stem cell research you can.
13. Stay out late before the curfews start.
14. Go see Bruce Springsteen before he has his "accident".
15. Go see Mount Rushmore before the Reagan addition.
16. Use the phrase - "you can't do that - this is America".
17. If you're white - marry a black person, if you're black - marry a white person.
18. Take a walk in Yosemite, without being hit by a snowmobile or a base-jumper.
19. Enroll your kid in an accelerated art or music class.
20. Start your school day without a prayer.
22. Pass on the secrets of evolution to future generations.
22. Learn French.
23. Attend a commitment ceremony with your gay friends.
24. Take a factory tour anywhere in the US.
25. Try to take photographs of animals on the endangered species list.
26. Visit Florida before the polar ice caps melt.
27. Visit Nevada before it becomes radioactive.
28. Visit Alaska before "The Big Spill".
29. Visit Massachusetts while it is still a State.
+#########################################################
Poetry to a Bush Supporter (gt)
The election is over, the results are now known.
The will of the people has clearly been shown.
We should show by our thoughts, our words and our deeds
That unity is just what our country needs.
Let's all get together. Let bitterness pass.
I'll hug your elephant.
You kiss my ass.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Police Warning (wb)
Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local bars to
be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. Many
females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer". The drug is
found in liquid form and available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans,
from taps and in large "kegs".
Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade
their male victims to go home and have sex with them. A woman need only
to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home
for no strings attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this
approach.
After several Beers, men will often succumb to the desires to perform
sexual acts with women. After drinking Beer, men often awaken with only
hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often
with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred.
At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's
savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship." In extreme cases,
the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male
into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as
"marriage." Men are much more susceptible to this scam after Beer is
administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.
Please! Forward this warning to every male you know.
If you fall victim to this 'Beer' and the women administering
it.....there are male support groups where you can discuss the details
of your shocking encounter with similarly affected like-minded guys
called "Golf Courses"
<hr width=100% size=1>clouty
Things to do before the January Inauguration (wb)
1. Get that abortion you've always wanted.
2. Drink a nice clean glass of water.
3. Cash your Social Security check.
4. See a doctor of your own choosing.
5. Spend quality time with your draft age child/grandchild.
6. Visit Syria, or any foreign country for that matter.
7. Get that gas mask you've been putting off buying.
8. Hoard gasoline.
9. Borrow books from library before they're banned - Constitutional law books, Catcher in the Rye, Harry Potter, Tropic of Cancer, etc.
10. If you have an idea for an art piece involving a crucifix - do it now.
11. Come out - then go back in - HURRY!
12. Jam in all the Alzheimer's stem cell research you can.
13. Stay out late before the curfews start.
14. Go see Bruce Springsteen before he has his "accident".
15. Go see Mount Rushmore before the Reagan addition.
16. Use the phrase - "you can't do that - this is America".
17. If you're white - marry a black person, if you're black - marry a white person.
18. Take a walk in Yosemite, without being hit by a snowmobile or a base-jumper.
19. Enroll your kid in an accelerated art or music class.
20. Start your school day without a prayer.
22. Pass on the secrets of evolution to future generations.
22. Learn French.
23. Attend a commitment ceremony with your gay friends.
24. Take a factory tour anywhere in the US.
25. Try to take photographs of animals on the endangered species list.
26. Visit Florida before the polar ice caps melt.
27. Visit Nevada before it becomes radioactive.
28. Visit Alaska before "The Big Spill".
29. Visit Massachusetts while it is still a State.
+#########################################################
Poetry to a Bush Supporter (gt)
The election is over, the results are now known.
The will of the people has clearly been shown.
We should show by our thoughts, our words and our deeds
That unity is just what our country needs.
Let's all get together. Let bitterness pass.
I'll hug your elephant.
You kiss my ass.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Police Warning (wb)
Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local bars to
be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. Many
females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer". The drug is
found in liquid form and available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans,
from taps and in large "kegs".
Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade
their male victims to go home and have sex with them. A woman need only
to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home
for no strings attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this
approach.
After several Beers, men will often succumb to the desires to perform
sexual acts with women. After drinking Beer, men often awaken with only
hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often
with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred.
At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's
savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship." In extreme cases,
the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male
into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as
"marriage." Men are much more susceptible to this scam after Beer is
administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.
Please! Forward this warning to every male you know.
If you fall victim to this 'Beer' and the women administering
it.....there are male support groups where you can discuss the details
of your shocking encounter with similarly affected like-minded guys
called "Golf Courses"
<hr width=100% size=1>clouty
