It’s well-known that if you make a reasonable attempt at the language, you’ll get on much better in France. May I recommend “The complete Merde – the French they never taught you at school” published by Harper Collins. Useful to understand – or be understood - in no uncertain terms.

“Je m’en fous de ton bateau- c’est de la foutaise!” = “I don’t give a damn about your boat- it’s a load of old rubbish! ”

“Ça coute six balles le litre? Ces salauds t’a roulé!” = “It costs six francs a litre? Those b*stards have ripped you off! ”

“Merde! Le moteur babord est foutue!” = “Oh sh*t! The port engine has had it. ”

“Allez, bouge ton cul, gros lard.” = “Come on, move your arse, you fat git”

“Touchez mon bateau et je vais te casser la guele!” - “If you touch my boat I’ll smash your face in!”

“On a fait la nouba chez bateau Colin – tout le monde etait paf, ca dégeulait partout” = “We whooped it up on Colin’s boat - everyone was pissed and people were puking everywhere!”

…and more, much worse.


New member
16 May 2001
Chatham, Kent
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Re: Can you ?

Translate into froggy speak the most valuble advice to give to those frenchy yachties who insist on exercising their rights?

I mean of course...

'Don't tack in front of that large cruiser bearing down on you at 20 kts, it might be Odyssea and he don't give a shit'

This is of course all mean't in the spirit of harmony and understanding as required of us good Europeans. And some of my best friends have yachts....poor things.

Dave S