Hooligan Rabbi

[Kawasaki]

Whislt we're on the subject, oi vey!
So I had this trip on the RIB just after Easter
Now, I know nuffin about Ramadan, Barmisfits, (although I was one once or twice!) or Yom Kippor
So I,m on the Pier at Menai awaiting the passengers
'Crikey' I thought
There must be some kinda religion thing going on
Peeps with funny hats an kinda pigtails an long cloaky things.
Not walking it seemed down the jetty but kinda gliding like Daleks!
When they got closer I could see that they had feet like the rest of us!
Phew! was a bit weird fer a bit, had to clear me eyes
Thought-- 'Not gonna be a Barmisfit fer a while, this alkihol aint good fer one!!
Blow Me down
This was me Passengers!
Good mornin yer Rabbismunt/ Bishopness/ Holyness etc I burbled
Well, What the F, do I know?
Anyway
After Kitting the reverends with lifejackets and seating them in Clerical order
Like you (under me breath) 'Sit there yer fat basteward to balance me rib out' etc etc
We set off under the Bridges
First mistake
Slows down to a bit of me commentary like,
'That sticky up thing is a Cardinal mark'
'It tells me where to steer innit'

So the Portly terwat said

'Why a Cardinal already, my life . '
I sess
'Taint nowt to do with Churches an stuff Carm Down Carm Down' in me best Scouse accent!
So Friar Tuck seemed to be OK with that
So we did a few ups an downs and around and about the Menai Strait
So I fecked up again later
Now one of me 'Talks' as a do the Tourist trips
Is all about Oswald Mosely
The Fachist, yer know Him what whipped up the Brown Shirt Brigade in the 30's a kinda English Hitler worshipper
Hr lived om the Menai Strait fer a bit
There is a big Cast Iron Eagle perched on a rock just on the shore where He lived.
Proper piece of tourist natter/ memorabilia fer me innit!

Kinnel, that went down like a lead balloon
'Cripes I thought, 'gorra get this trip back on the road sharpish'
Well.
Fair play to me cloaked an funny hatted 'bretheren'

Got the beggars behind the wheel
300 HP of Yamahe V6 two stroke
Bleedin eck did they enjoy it!!!

Fair play, they did what they were told and had a heck of a ball!

We were Mates then!
I think I have 4 weddings and at least a funeral to attend!
Dunno how they knew a Funeral is comin up?
Do some religions predict this?
Or maybe it could be mine

Plus they told me it's 'Bar Mitzvah'!
and a boy becomes a Man at 13, not barmisfits
I said -'Can the Boy that becomes a Man at 13 drink in a bar' , already See I was even getting with the lingo by now.
Anyway
We had a good crack
Nice people (feckin wierd clothes though) they had a great time with Me an vice versa fair play.
We wished ourselves a fond farewhell
But I had to get the last word in just to confuse
Hactually, I reckon quite a clever Marketing Ploy to get a few more quid out of them.
Cos they will have to come back fer the answer
I asked em if they knew about an old Scottish Jew who used to pen a few rhymes an stuff
'Mr Kawasaki- who is that already my son'
'Rabbi Burns' I replied

 

[oGaryo]

kwackers, if you're not rich in pocket, you're rich in experience of strange happenings and rich in name as it happens

ya didn't drop this lot off in Calshot Bay at the weekend by any chance? a whole load of guitar twanging and jesus lurves you was wafting across the water Sunday afternoon...

 

[Kawasaki]

kwackers, if you're not rich in pocket, you're rich in experience of strange happenings and rich in name as it happens

ya didn't drop this lot off in Calshot Bay at the weekend by any chance? a whole load of guitar twanging and jesus lurves you was wafting across the water Sunday afternoon...

'Jesus loves you
Yes I know
Cos the Bible
Tells you so'
Dropped em off
In Calshot Bay
Only if
They didn't pay'

Matey
Dealt with peeps front and centre all me long life
Various carrears and trades etc etc etc and a few more etc's!

But the last couple of Years taking people from all over the World on 1 to 2 hour rib rides plus sometimes all day trips and sometimes delivering boats for all classes of peeps to all over the UK etc has been a real eye opener.
Write a Memo ter yerself
'Must not get trapped in a Bar with Kwackers-- will get talked/bored ter death'
Seriously
I.d do yer ed in

 

[Searush]

Oh, Rich, I wish I had seen that.

Tell me did their hats stay on? Cos I know yours seem to like to fly, even when made of fox fur - musta bin flying fox I s'pose. We never did find "wear the Fox hat" after it went swimmin' did we?

 

[Kawasaki]

Oh, Rich, I wish I had seen that.

Tell me did their hats stay on? Cos I know yours seem to like to fly, even when made of fox fur - musta bin flying fox I s'pose. We never did find "wear the Fox hat" after it went swimmin' did we?

Yer, how do they do that?
Little skull type hats the nippers had on stayed ship shaped an secure!
In had mine tied on with a round turn an two half hitches, plus a bowline?
But when you were helming the mobo all the knots in Christendom seemed to come undone.
Then again , it's all about conservation nowadays
Flyin Fish Flyin Foxes
Titfer Tatt
Innit