HELP ---->>>>>>>

[lanason]

I've got this slim attractive sexy blonde wife who I need to convince that owning a Fairline Holiday is a wonderfull romantic idea!.....and it that it has potentially enormous andvantages for us as a family.......How do I do this Folks I REALLY need your best efforts?

Adrian )

 

[hlb]

Hmm. This is important and needs the whole pannel together for best results. Suggest send urgent private message around all Gardners question Time pannel immedietly.

Message.

Boaty in distress please help stop. Fit wife. Stop. Romance Stop.
All handes to the pump Stop.

Hellllllp

Haydn

 

[ToMo]

Aw come-on Haydn we gotta help this poor unfortunate....he's boatless, an that state aint no good fer de boy!

 

[coliholic]

Does your wife know about this slim attractive sexy blonde bit you've got on the side then?

And just how do you plan to explain all the time you're going to be spending on the boat to these two women?

Come on man get your priorities right. Dump them both and buy a bigger boat. You know it makes sense,

 

[hlb]

But Colin, I was looking for a colective sence of responcibility here. A chance to help in the mans adversities. You just cant get the staff anymore!!

Haydn

 

[Guest]

Status symbol what else would encourage a woman apart from the shopping trips along the French coast .
Then of course she would get the chance to meet all us good looking sophisticated intelligent chaps ,who are all longing to meet her !!!.
Mick

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/boats
looking for an ex trawler if you see one !!

 

[byron]

If she really loved you she would want to do anything to make you happy including getting an evening job and one at weekends to help buy your new boat. As she doesn't love you ditch her and just get yourself a nice girl that likes cleaning boats and rubbing her man's feet until he falls asleep.

ô¿ô

 

[trev]

If its a Fairline Holiday, and in good nick, then its probably up at more than it cost new - so the 'its a good investment' line is a good starting point.
Next you tell her that the boat looks OK but it could do with new curtains, carpet etc and you would want her to choose the colour scheme. You then take it a stage further and mention shopping trips for colour coded cutlery, cups, plates and the like. - You've got to make them feel INVOLVED ! even if you've no intention of actually doing any of the above.Then after a few pleasant trips on a nice calm river -----------

Trev

 

[Guest]

The moonlight on the water, gently rippling waves, majestic swans, maidens standing on the headland to watch their lover sail away etc.
Or in the case of SHMBO shopping and gossiping opportunities, and the fact that when you are on the boat you cant see the things you should be doing around the house!

 

[longjohnsilver]

Togetherness, family bonding, wanting to spend your leisure time with her, relaxing and unwinding away from the pressures of work, enjoyable inexpensive holidays, travel and see the world, fishing to provide food for the table..................
.........................................................................................I've tried them all and none of them work!!!

This really is Matts area of expertise, somehow you've got to persuade her that she is the one choosing and making the decision aand that really you're not that interested to start with, but hey, what the hell if she really wants it then you're quite happy to go along with her.

Now this could all be rather difficult bearing in mind your participation on this forum, unless you can persuade her that all those long evening hours sat in front ofd the puter haven't been spent ogling boats and reading boaty material. Mind you, you'll have to come up with a bloody good alternative explanation!!

The other alternative is that we can all take it in turns to keep your wife entertained whilst you go off boating.......................
<G>

 

[oldgit]

The really big advantage for you lady wife is that you will not be hanging round the perishing house all day sulking.This is because you will be showing off your new tub to mates and sitting in the wheelhouse drinking beer making lots of impressive type voyages in imagination to visit all known posters on this BB.etc..Ie She will hardly ever see you and life will instantly improve from her point of view.
Ps Warning distance and adventuresness of voyage may tend to increase with beer consumption.

 

[jfm]

Refer tcm patented gambit. was made for this situation. a search will find it, but in roughly remebered summary....

1. fill in order form, dont sign, sign counterfoil, come home and admit error;
2. lines like "I guess we're not really the sort of people who should own such a fab boat..."

Etc.

1,000,000 blokes cant be wrong

 

[claymore]

Hmm,
Not an easy one this - I really don't know how its all going to pan out for you, BUT, somewhere in the forthcoming discussions and negotiations, you'll offer concessions. Just be careful and do not underestimate the memory retentive powers of the female of the species. It may take weeks, possibly months, perhaps even a year, but those 8 little words"When you were after this boat, You promised...." will come back to haunt you. She'll know what time it was, what day it was, what you were wearing and what you'd had on your sandwiches that day so, go easy on the concessions - particularly the ones to do with the house, her Mother, the garden and your behaviour in drink. The casual observer may think me particularly knowledgeable on this topic, .....oh yes!
regards
John S

 

[hlb]

Hey. Claymore. Do yo live at our house, dont remember seeing you! One small diference. My SWMBO knows which socks I was wearing, what we had for breakfast, and is word perfect on what happened at the pub- holiday-conversation-arguement,Or other occasion. ( Select at will) From 25 years ago!!

Haydn

 

[Falcon71]

How on earth was I EVER cajoled into believing that the boat would be a great idea, kids would love it, visions of sunbathing , drinking, relaxing en famille, HE is a salesmn after all, and yet again I fell for it. What isn't mentioned is all the packing every weekend, with just incase of bad weather clothes, jsut incase its warm, or double amounts of everything, taking dog to parents on Friday , collecting him Monday, begging various neighbours to feed cats, again! Doing an extra shop to get provisions for boat, although we eat out most of the time. Then on top of all this, having to unpack/ repack it all while he sails back to office.

Then whilst out on the boat, getting yelled at for this rope or that, how could I miss etc. and isn't it time for a cup of tea. Broken nails, ravaged hair, wet everything, Anxious about the children in the rib, where are they, hope they're not drowned/annoying the neighbours, and after a few weekends of this, they don't want to come anyway.

In spite of it all, I keep telling myself its wonderful, I'm even learning to drive, which is giving me a wonderful sense of achievement and daring, which I don't think I would get doing anything else anywere - this doesn't help probably, but is honest.

 

[claymore]

On our first date, I supposedly said "I don't go in for boozing in pubs much" - I have no recollection of that little gem, and never thought myself so untruthful. I can only put it down to a bit of fiendish plotting of the downfall of her Alan Wickers - but it gets an airing everytime I suggest a pint!

 

[claymore]

English Jessies

I see from your picture that ye like they English Jessies - will we have contact this time next week when you've received the Mither and Faither of a guid stuffin at the hands o the Scots?

 

[longjohnsilver]

Do not let wife read above posting!!!

Lanason, should have made it clear that all responses were to come from us blokes, v dangerous letting other women get involved, they might just let the cat out of the bag, or in this case the neighbours house!!

Falcon 71, thought you were one of "us" from your prevoius postings, you now stand accused of mutiny, how do you plead?? If found guilty then you will be sentenced to share a cell with fellow mutineer Kim in the IPC tower of terrors. ;-))

 

[coliholic]

Re: Do not let wife read above posting!!!

I'm more intigued as to what her husband thinks he's doing letting her play with the computer at 4 o'clock on a Sunday afternoon. Surely there's dinner to be got ready, ironing to do, dusting, cleaning, kids homework to be done etc?

What is it with this man has he no control?

And then to let her say these blasphemous things about the boat? And such a super boat too. That's the last time I take a mooring rope for you in the pouring rain.

 

[Deleted User YDKXO]

Charter a boat for a week in the Med, have endless days sunbathing and boozing in calm warm waters, then tell wife that owning a boat in the UK will be no different. If further inducement required, I find every wife has a price. That may be as little as a new pair of shoes or as much as a new kitchen. There's always the bare faced cheek gambit - just go out and buy the thing and tell her you bought it for her. If you can keep a straight face, it might just work