Heads.......

[Guest]

Having followed these forums for some time now I am amazed that the subject of heads does not seem to come up. My boating career spans 4 decades and for as long as I can remember it has always been the case that inevitably any boating conversation, whether on the boat, in a restaurant or in the pub, has always ended up, or majored, on the subject of toilets. This is nothing to do with the fact that I was a marine toilet salesman for a year many years ago!

The whole topic is a fascinating subject. What sort of toilet do you use? Does it have a holding tank? Does it pong? Is it an all singing and dancing compressed air jobby, or does it macerate, or "evacuumate", or does it just block up? Can you pump the tank out yourself? Does the flush water pong?

This seems to be a much neglected subject on the forums and I am tempted, nay coerced, into the feeling that I must conclude that the majority of forum correspondents are therefore not true boating people; if they were then the subject would be discussed at length and very regularly (regularity being of course an important part of the whole topic!)

I live in hope of responses; otherwise I will have to conclude that my suspicions are correct and will have to look for true boaters elsewhere.

 

[jfm]

Calling BogProfessor HLB, and Kim

Haydn, meet the_bargee. The_bargee, meet Haydn, he can tell you everything you need to know.

Actually that reminds me. Kim have we lost the very old posts (including Haydn's modern literary classic the exploding toilet) or can they be retrieved from archive?

 

[Guest]

Re: Calling BogProfessor HLB, and Kim

Who can tell whom what?????

 

[longjohnsilver]

Before someone else says it Bargee that was a crap post. And as for being a boat bog salesman, well, you must feel responsible for all our woes.

I tend to use bucket and chuck it method, much easier than turning on seacocks and balancing in confined space.

Also can't ever remember any conversation about toilets, I must lead a sad and boring life!!

 

[Guest]

bucket and chucket

was talking to cox of barrow in furness lifeboat, some years ago he had a yacht in Palma, on the subject of bucket he said, never just pee over the side, always into a bucket then empty over the side, why I said?, well you would be amazed how many bodies we recover with there flies still undone.

Paul js.

 

[boatone]

Re: bucket and chucket

How whimsical...........

TonyR
boatone@boatsontheweb.com

 

[jfm]

Re: clarification

Haydn can tell anyone who cares to ask the detailed workings of every marine head ever built or even thort of but especially:

1. how to make them explode while on a passage
2. how best to clean the ...erm...debris from the walls ceiling and floor of the heads compartment, and youself, while on passage
3. matters incidental to the above

I refer of course to the most famous post of all time on this BB, namely "Exploding Toilets" by HLB, circa early 2000ish, a piece which should be written up and included in Reed's Nautical Almanac IMHO

 

[longjohnsilver]

Exploding toilets - a repeat.

Must be one of many to have heard of this post but never read it. Must surely be time for a repeat please Haydn, lots of new interested people since then.

 

[Guest]

Re: bucket and chucket

There was a theory that the death of Robert Maxwell occurred with his flies undone. Apparently the male of our species can suffer from something called ????? micturation (I've forgotten the first word). Apparently this makes us unstable whilst having a pee, and prone to fainting. I have taken this to heart and always stay well secured whilst performing.

 

[Guest]

Clearly very sad and boring. You can't have lived and been a true boater if you have not discussed boat toilets.

Your comments with respect to my post appear rather sh1tty but never mind. The problem with buck & chuck is where do you chuck?

 

[paulineb]

Why does my toilet smell of perm lotion after I flush it ?

Pxx

 

[hlb]

Dear Mr Bargee.
As Author of the imfamous Exploding Toilet.
It has been a well known rule, on this forum. That all things appertaining to toilets have to be past by me first!

The original story, well factual account of a grave and sinister situation. Has long since been flushed down the anals of my now disposed of computer. Never to raise it's ugly head again!

However it was written in the earlier days of this forum, when topics took on a more serious formate, and would not I fear, today, have the same impact. IMHO.

Haydn

 

[coliholic]

What's this fascination with toilets? Personally i have no interest in anyone's toilet habits and I'm frankly worried about anyone who finds the subject of even the mildest interest. Do you think that perhaps you should get out more, or change your circle of friends if this is your main topic of conversation?

JFM is absolutely right re Haydn. He is the world's authority on boat bogs and indeed his signature here on the board, HLB, stands for Haydn Le Bog. Let's just hope he doesn't read this post and reply 'cos it'll go on for ever and in graphic detail. Could put you right off your Christmas dinner.

 

[coliholic]

Oh go on, H, give it to 'em. You have the technology. You can recreate it.

 

[hlb]

Re: Exploding toilets - a repeat.

It must have been about three or four years ago. Not long after I'd bought the boat. I'm sure I couldn't rekindle the inspiration again, as it was a bit emotive at the time.

It was really just a case of putting into words, the graphic effects of being in a three foot square bathroom when the toilet did it's.
" I'm Mount Vesuvious." Thingy.
The rest is all better left to your imagination.


Haydn

 

[paulineb]

Re: Exploding toilets - a repeat.

Just as well you didn't have the fan on in there as well !!

Pxx

 

[Guest]

Re: bucket and chucket

Yes I suppose we all become a bit unstable after about 15 pints, never mind trying to pee at the same time, and faint at the thought when its hanging out!

Paul .js

 

[paulineb]

Are you going to answer my question??

Dear Mr Bargee, I thought you were interested in heads and wanted more threads on the subject. So please can you begin y answering my query posted below re my smelly loo

Pxx

 

[coliholic]

You're not using it as a bidet are you pauline?

 

[paulineb]

Certainly not, I have a bidet which I use as a bidet - true!!!

.... are you insinuating I'm a Billingsgate girl ;-)

Pxx
Have a cool yule