Friday Humour Part II

syd

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Joined
21 Jun 2001
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726
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Boat's in Chatham, I'm in Essex
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Dear forum,I have a software problem and need your help.

Some eighteen months ago I upgraded 'Girlfriend 1.0' from 'Drinking Mates 4.2', which I had used without problem for years. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run 'Girlfriend 1.0' with the sound turned off. To make matters worse, 'Girlfriend 1.0' is also incompatible with several other applications, such as 'Lads Night Out 3.1', 'Football 2.0' and 'Playboy 6.1'.

Successive versions of 'Girlfriend 1.0' have proved no better. I tried a shareware beta program, 'Party Girl 2.1'. The learning curve is easy and the user interface for 'Party Girl 2.1' is very accessable but the program had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks. I guess that multi-user applications should be used in conjunction with a firewall. Eventually I tried to run 'Girlfriend 1.2' and 'Girlfriend 1.0' at the same time, only to discover that when these two applications detected each other they caused severe damage to all my hardware!
Sensing a way out, I upgraded to 'Fiancee 1.0' only to discover that this product has to be upgraded to 'Wife 1.0'. I did this largely because, whilst 'Wife 1.0' uses up all resources, it comes bundled with 'Freesex Plus 6.9' and 'Cleanhouse 2.2'.
However, I discovered that 'Wife 1.0' can be very unstable and costly to run. For example, any mistakes I made were automatically stored in 'Wife 1.0' 's memory and could not be deleted, they can then re-surface some months later.
'Wife 1.0' also has an automatic 'Diary Explorer' and 'E-Mail Porn' filter, and can, without warning, launch 'Protostrop' and 'Whingezip'. These products have no help files and require you to try and guess the problem yourself.
Additional costly problems are that the 'Wife 1.0' bundle, which came with the origenal system, needs upgrading regularly, requiring 'Shoe Shop Browser Pro' for new attachments and 'Hairstyle Express' which needs to be re-installed every other week. It also conflicted with some of the new games I wanted to try, stating they are an illegal operation. 'Wife 1.0' also has a rather annoying'Stay Resident' pop up called 'Mother In Law 2000', which cannot be turned off.
Recently tempted to try 'Mistress 2002', but there could be problems. I'm told that if 'Wife 1.0' detects the pesence of 'Mistress 2002' it will delete all 'MS Money' files before un-installing itself.

Any ideas.
Syd



(Hope Pauline-B does'nt see this)
 
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